I used to work in a prison & married a MURDERER inmate – we have mammoth 4-day conjugal sex sessions trying for a baby
AN ex-prison worker who married an inmate is now enjoying four-day conjugal visits while trying for a baby with the murderer.
Larissa King, 35, has shared some of the difficulties they are facing trying to start a family while he serves time.
Larissa met her husband Ryan King, 42, when she took a job working in a prison kitchen during Covid but says they did not speak much at the time.
The Vancouver native was let go from the job in April 2021 and started her certification to become a probation officer.
Once she had completed this, the mum-of-one decided to reach out to an inmate to discuss measures that would help prisoners readjust into society upon release.
Larissa said she thought of her now-husband because she knew he didn't have any crimes against women or children and the two exchanged a couple of letters.
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Although she stopped pursuing a career as a probation officer, the pair soon began to speak on the phone weekly and Ryan popped the question during their second in-person visit.
The couple got married in the prison in March 2023, just over two years after they met.
Ryan is currently serving a sentence of 15 years to life for second degree murder.
"There is a lot that obviously went into his judgment. The biggest thing was that he did not come forward with his crime. They deemed it a vigilante killing," Larissa said.
"So that played a big part in his sentencing. Personally, I think he should have gotten manslaughter and even the most recent lawyers I've been on the phone with for parole agree."
After dating over the phone for around a year, she went to see Ryan in prison for the first time since they had worked together in the kitchen.
"I was apprehensive for a long time to go and actually see him in person," said Larissa, who now works as an archaeologist.
"We wrote a couple of times and then I gave him my phone number because I thought it would be easier that way and then we started talking on the phone maybe once a week.
";It was very limited and then that turned to twice a week, three times a week, every day, multiple times a day.
"When we really started talking on the phone it was the end of 2021, I'd say around November and then by February I knew I loved this man.
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"I actually spoke to a therapist, a professional to see and understand my feelings. Like why is this happening? Is this real?
"I was very confused and my therapist was like it seems like it was just an unconventional meeting but it seems like your feelings are valid.
"I was like I really need to see him in person, I'm going crazy. I remember being so nervous. It had been a long time.
"I saw him walking up through the windows, you could see them coming up from their lower compound area and I was just sweating bullets.
"He proposed on my second in-person visit. I thought I was going to puke.
"We were talking [while] sitting at this table right by a window. A nice scenic background of barbed chain link fence and there was a playground there.
"He asked me to get up so he could see my outfit. He made me do a twirl.
"When I came back around he was on his knee with a fake, obviously there was nothing in his hand because he can't bring anything into the visiting centre.
"I was just like 'Oh my God, what is happening?' and then he had this whole spiel.
";I could tell he was so nervous too, he was getting all fluttery and said his speech and you could see everyone was looking over.
"I could also see, because I was facing the guard's bubble, and they're all looking over because it looks like well, he might have something in his hand.
"I said yes and you're allowed to have brief embraces in the visiting centre so [we had] a hug and a kiss."
Ryan's mother wired Larissa money from his account to purchase a ring and she bought her wedding dress and shoes from Amazon.
Ryan paid another inmate who used to be a tailor in fizzy drinks and a packet of crisps to take his measurements for his shirt and trousers.
The couple wed on 3 March 2023 in the prison and because of a lengthy paperwork process were not able to spend their wedding night together.
They had their first conjugal visit on 4 July and now have them every six weeks. They can be as long as four days.
Larissa said the visits take place in private cabins complete with a living room and a kitchen on the prison grounds away from the general population units.
"I was so nervous for that too I think it was even worse with the wait because you know it's coming and we had never been intimate at all," she explained.
We had never been alone together ever. It was worth the wait.
Larissa King
"The most we'd had was light kisses in the visitors centre.
"We had never been alone together ever. It was worth the wait. It was also difficult to wait that long.
"It was nice to have that important time together."
The pair began trying for a baby on only their second conjugal visit and Larissa says it is difficult to align the visits they have every six weeks with her ovulation phase.
She then discovered she had low levels of Anti-Mullerian Hormone (AMH) meaning her ovaries produce fewer eggs than usual.
"It's frustrating. So we did try to schedule our conjugals to coincide with my fertile window and this was before I got my diagnosis and I would always ovulate early," Larissa said.
Most lifers don't get parole the first, maybe not even the second time.
Larissa King
"I was thinking about my age at that time, being 34, [but] infertility wasn't even on my brain at that point but I knew I always wanted more children.
"I did get my fertility clinic on board with trying intrauterine inseminations with me but we need to get my husband to the fertility clinic for his specimen drop off which is proving very difficult.
"It's deemed a non-emergency medical procedure [so] it will just be out of pocket for the inmates, they would have to pay for basically the van transportation, the guard's salary for the time per kilometre.
"It's a very slow, exhausting process."
Although Ryan has now served his minimum sentence and is eligible to apply for parole, there is a possibility this could be denied and he may not be present to parent the baby.
"It would suck if he wasn't around to raise our child together and it's very likely because he does have a life sentence, most lifers don't get parole the first, maybe not even the second time," she said.
"I had to really sit down and [think] could I do this alone, if we are successful with conception?
"My finances are established. I could afford to be on maternity leave with a single income house.
"I've raised my daughter on my own so I've done it once before and I always said I don't want to do that again.
"I even said that to my husband while we were talking and then you know all that goes out the window and I'm just like this is my person, I'd like to expand my family now.
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"It is a real possibility that it would take a couple attempts for him to get parole."