DIRTY SECRET
I thought my wife was cheating with men from bars – sordid emails revealed it was actually a woman I’d had in my home
Scroll down for red flag signs that your partner is cheating
A MAN has revealed that his wife has been having an affair with another woman, leaving him totally shattered.
The 31-year-old man confessed that things started to change in his relationship after his 29-year-old wife gave birth to their twins.
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But what this anonymous father excused as ‘baby blues’, was actually something a lot more shocking.
Eager to open up on his wife’s infidelity, the man took to social media to share all, leaving many open-mouthed.
Posting on Reddit, on the thread, the fuming father who writes under the username @euphoric-Security-86, titled his post ‘I just found out about my wife’s affair with another woman’.
The man then explained: “I’m really not the type of person to share my problems with others but I’m just so enraged right now and needing to vent.
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“Me and my wife Bianca have been together for six years. Our relationship was perfect.
“We share similar interests in sports cars and fitness, we both have good paying jobs.
“We both admitted that we’re each other's best intimate partner or so I thought.
“Things moved pretty fast with us. Moved in [after] four months of dating, engaged [after] seven months of dating and married on our one year anniversary.”
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But things soon slowed down after his wife gave birth, as he added: “Everything changed when we were ready to try for children. Bianca had a very rough pregnancy as she was pregnant with twins. One boy and one girl.
“The kids came out prematurely but healthy for the most part. After the kids were born we focused a lot of time on them and after we were allowed to have sex again we tried but Bianca wasn’t really herself and had a hard time feeling aroused.
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“I thought it was just the baby blues. I never pushed the issue though because Bianca doesn’t mind me pleasing myself.
“After three months Bianca went back to her office job and since she’s a mother and a great worker, her boss let her do hybrid remote work.
“A month back into working Bianca would constantly text me that she had to stay extra to catch up on work and then a few weeks later she randomly stopped working remotely.”
Not only this, but the man recognised that his wife was spending a lot more time with her co-worker, a woman named Vivian.
He continued: “Bianca started spending a lot of time with her co-worker Vivian. I met Vivian before, she was at our baby shower and has come to the house a few times.
“My wife would take Saturdays she had off to go to bars with Vivian. Vivian is single and my wife's excuse is she plays wingwoman for Vivian at the bar.
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it's normal to know each other's passwords and use each other's phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
says: "If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful."
"You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something."
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
"If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don't want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag."
"Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it's an easy way to get caught out," says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner's libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: "Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren't there before."
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
"To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven't walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating," warns Aaron.
“I started suspecting she was cheating on me with men she would meet at the bar but I still had no proof.
“One day I couldn’t hold it back anymore and asked her to see her phone because she had been acting differently and suspecting she is cheating, Bianca threw her phone at me saying that I’m ridiculous to think that she was cheating because she loves me and only me.
“I checked everything on her phone and there was no proof of her cheating.
“I started to think I was the one who was just insecure. Bianca very well made it clear that I seem crazy in her eyes.”
But for this father, his evidence arose whilst he was away with his wife for the weekend.
He shared: “In an effort to rekindle things I scheduled a weekend getaway for me and Bianca. I had my brother watch the kids.
“Things were going great until an hour and a half away from home, Bianca realised she left her work laptop at home.
“She made a big deal out of it saying she had something to complete over the weekend. I told her not to worry, and let’s just focus on us.
The woman that I allowed her to bring in my home she was sleeping with!
Reddit poster
“When we got to our resort, I saw I got a lot of notifications from my brother.
"My brother texted me saying that he was sorry that he checked through my wife’s email, it was just open but he wanted to know why she wasn’t sleeping with me.
“He sent me photos of my wife and Vivian’s emails talking about sex they had with each other a few days ago.
“I told my brother to try to sign in her email to his phone through Microsoft 365. That way we can keep track of their conversations.
“I was shattered that Bianca would cheat on me or even lie to me like this. The woman that I allowed her to bring in my home she was sleeping with!”
The man still spent with the weekend with his wife and made sure to conceal his emotions.
He wrote: “Since we already paid for the resort for the weekend, I still had to spend my weekend with her.
“I tried my best to not show her I was upset because I wanted to blow this up in front of her parents’ face.
I plan on seeing her parents today, to let them know what she has been doing
Reddit poster
“Bianca even tried having sex with me which I denied. Bianca started to realise something was wrong and kept asking me if I was okay but I told her I just wanted to focus on our getaway.
“After a very silent drive home Sunday, we got home and my brother didn’t even start to talk, he just left barely even speaking a sentence.
“Bianca already started talking about how she was going to have a busy day at work Monday.”
Clearly unsure on what to do, the man expressed: “I do love my wife but I’m confused if she wants to be with her co-worker or me.
“I plan on seeing her parents today, to let them know what she has been doing. They can take her in until I can gather myself.”
Reddit users react
Reddit users were left stunned by the man’s confession and many flocked to the comments to share their thoughts.
Whilst some advised him to get a divorce, others were keen to warn him against getting Bianca’s parents involved.
Talk to her. Leave her family out of it for now
Reddit user
One person said: “Don't bring your wife's parents into this. This is for you and your wife to resolve.”
Another added: “Avoid confronting her parents directly. You already possess the evidence; simply hire a divorce attorney without her knowledge and serve her the papers at her workplace.
“If anyone, including her parents, ask, tell the truth that she's been having an affair. I understand it may appear daunting, but it's not the end of the world. Remember, you're still in your early 30s; concentrate on yourself.”
A third commented: “Now that you have the proof you need to sit her down immediately.”
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Whilst someone else recommended: “Get your affairs in order before confronting anyone even if you are not sure marriage is over. Protect yourself first then make a decision.”
Not only this, but another advised: “Talk to her. Leave her family out of it for now.”
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