I’m an HR worker in my 40s but fell for a teen in maximum security US jail – we’re 5,000 miles apart even now he’s out
COMMUNICATION is a huge part of any long-distance relationship and Lucy Patterson couldn’t wait for her next phone call with her fiance - even if she had to wait three months for it.
And when you're head over heels in love and engaged to an American convict who lives 5,000 miles away, there's certainly plenty to talk about.
The HR worker, 42, has no qualms about being involved with ex- prisoner Sean Hetzer who went from being a pen pal to a partner within months.
Lucy was studying for a degree in forensic psychology when she decided to speak to prisoners - for 'half research, half being nosey' and came across Sean's profile on a prison pen pal website.
She sent him a letter telling Sean, who is now 26 but was 18 at the time and in a maximum security prison, that he had her support.
He was three years into a ten-year sentence after pleading guilty to aggravated assault with a deadly weapon at Bexar County District Courts, San Antonio, Texas, back in February 2014.
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Sean wrote back and the pair sent letters to one another before speaking on the phone with Sean only allowed a five-minute phone call every 90 days initially.
Lucy didn't expect to fall in love but their friendship blossomed into romance when Sean wrote 'I love you' in Spanish in one of his letters.
She says: "I sent off three letters offering support and I got a reply from Sean.
"Our relationship happened naturally, the tone of our letters changed.
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"Sean wrote a letter and said 'go translate this' and it said love you in Spanish - from there we were official.
"I see a future with him, he is my best friend and we hope to get married one day."
Recalling the day he received Lucy's letter in 2017, Sean, from San Antonio, Texas, says: "I was really happy.
"She said she was reaching out to people who were on the website.
"Lucy said that she liked my picture and profile so she decided to write to me."
The pair continued to write letters back and forth - occasionally having a phone call every 90 days when Sean was well-behaved enough for the privilege.
Lucy says the first phone call was "awkward" but the pair continued to communicate.
She adds: "Because of his security level there were people listening in and standing with him.
"We were both very nervous and talking over each other - it was very awkward."
After the first call, the pair made their relationship official in May 2018.
After a year of dating via letter and phone, the pair met in person for the first time in February 2019, on Sean's 21st birthday, in the visitor room at the jail and spent four hours talking "non-stop".
Lucy recalls the the 5,000-mile journey from her home in Essex to San Antonio, Texas.
She says: "That was the scariest thing I had ever done in my life.
"Every fibre in my being was telling me to get back on the plane and go home.
We didn't know if we were going to full-blown snog or peck
Lucy Patterson
"It was nerve-wracking and we had this big glass screen in front of us - the visit was four hours long."
At first, Lucy told only her friends and a few family members about Sean - her mum only found out she was in a relationship with him when he was out of prison and in the UK visiting.
Lucy says: "They knew of his existence and how I was writing to him but I didn't tell anyone it was a relationship for at least five years.
"When I did tell people, it was only a couple of my closest friends.
"Last year I told some of my family but it wasn't until Sean was in the UK when I told my mum - she has taken him in like one of her own."
On Sean's release in August this year, Lucy flew out to meet him.
She explains: "It was a bit awkward at first.
"We didn't know if we were going to full-blown snog or peck - it was a bit of a chameleon kiss.
"It felt very natural to be with him - this is my best friend.";
Speaking about being reunited with Lucy, Sean adds: "It is the best feeling ever - I was so relieved to be out.
"It was an exciting day - Lucy is caring and loyal.
"She was there when I needed someone when nobody else was there for me."
UK Prison Brides
- Tracey Bottomley married double murderer Ernest Otto Smith in the US after meeting through a prison pen pal initiative. Tracey, from West Yorks, knew he had been given a life sentence with no possibility of parole
- Rebecca Short, from Oxfordshire, told her family she was on holiday in the US in 2022. Little did they know she was marrying double murderer Manuel Ovate Jr, who was on death row
- Paula Williamson, an actress who appeared on Hollyoaks and Emmerdale, married the infamous Charles Bronson in 2017 after they became penpals
- Karen Charves married Kenny Richey while he was on death row in 2014. He had been convicted for starting a fire in 1986 that killed his ex-girlfriend’s daughter, aged two. Karen and Kenny’s union did not last and she claimed he was abusive.
- Naomi Wise, from Essex, married Victor Oquendo, nicknamed Animal, while he was serving a 24-year prison term in a US jail. They split up in 2022 but have now rekindled their romance
Despite the distance, the lovebirds vow to keep their relationship alive and hope to marry in the future, splitting their time between the UK and US on holiday visas.
The pair say they would love to tie the knot but they are in "no rush".
Lucy says: "I can't work in the US and he can't work here.
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"We will always go back and forth, there is no plan to stay in any country.
"We don't have children, I own my property - we have no ties to keep us in one place."
