I’ve been with my husband 40 years – ‘happy ending’ massages with other men reignited our marriage, it’s not cheating

MEET Pamela Madsen, a sexuality educator, author, and advocate who has embarked on a mission to help women connect to their most erotic selves.

Married at the age of 19, Pamela underwent a huge change after her 40th birthday, slowly learning about the power of touch through gay men - a journey which made her feel safe in her body.

Now in her 60s, the dark-haired beauty is here to cast aside notions about how people should behave once they've hit menopause.

''Oh my God, I was having a really good time and now you're telling I've got to pause?'' chuckled Pamela who best describes herself as ''meno-playful, meno-curious and meno-hot''.

''My p***y is pausing for nobody. My p***y is like 'She turned 60 this year and she's like 'I'm here''.''

The fashion-loving Pamela, who loves wearing see-through dresses without a slip underneath, explained that she doesn't wear clothing ''to be invisible''.

Instead, her outfits are a call ''to be seen, to self-express, to be understood''.

The out-there pieces the sexuality coach has embraced haven't come without their fair share of criticism, both in person and online - and in her eyes, it's because ''social media has really deadened people to social interaction''.

''Would you actually say that to me if you were staring at me? Or do you just feel free to pop up on my page and say 'Nobody wants to see your fat a**'.''

Hitting back at the keyboard warriors, the author also had something to say to the trolls slamming her wardrobe.

''Thank you for taking some of your precious time to comment on and let me know your feelings about my fat a**, thank you.

''I'm at a place in my life where how I look on the outside is how I am on the side,'' she inspired others in .

''If I'm not the right person for you - carry on.''

But for Pamela, who had wanted to be the ''good girl'' in her 20s, life hadn't always been this way.

Whilst she was working hard and fighting for women's rights, all of her friends - ''sex goddesses'' - were having affairs with everyone from around the block, including carpenters, and Pamela felt as if she was missing out.

''I was on the path - and then I wasn't.

''I was having a massage with a gay man [...] and he's telling me about these sexy massages does to keep things alive with him and his husband.''

Although Pamela and her hubby - whom she's been married to for over 40 years - had a great sex life ''and everybody came together'', she felt as if her body hadn't yet been explored properly and there was this flame hiding inside.

When you've never been naughty, being naughty is delicious

Pamela Madsen60

As cheating on her dear partner and having sexual intercourse with someone else was a big no-no, Pamela started exploring erotic massages ''with the happy ending''.

''When you've never been naughty, being naughty is delicious,'' she flirted to the camera, confessing that it had been a secret from her man for months.

Now, decades later and finally knowing her erotic body from inside out, Pamela encourages women to ''listen to their bodies''.

''We're so well trained to gaslight our own arousal. We feel like we take too long, we're too big, we're too much, we taste funny, we look funny.

''Screw that, no, you don't. You're lovely and you're beautiful [...] and all the vulvas are just orchids in the rainbow and they're all different,'' said Pamela who reckons she's ''hotter than ever'' now that she's in her 60s.