THREE'S A CROWD
I planned my wedding while juggling two other boyfriends – one of their girlfriends even showed up at our ceremony
Her boyfriend's other girlfriends showed up to the wedding
A WOMAN has revealed how she was busy planning her wedding whilst juggling three serious relationships.
Tiffany Banks, 37, and her newlywed husband, Joseph Banks, 35, from Ohio, had a beautiful wedding in front of friends and family last September.
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Tiffany’s boyfriends, Allen Mallory, 33, and Andy Fitch, 52, whom she dates separately and have other partners of their own, gave their full support.
Whilst Joseph’s other partner was invited on the day too.
Now, Tiffany has proven love truly conquers all, and is speaking exclusively to Fabulous in the hopes of raising awareness of polyamory.
Tiffany, an anti-money laundering analyst, says: “I believe humans were created to develop and navigate multiple relationships.
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“Our love story is proof of how incredible polyamory can be. I spent so long not knowing who I was and now I do.
“If you can be anything in life, be your true self.”
Over the years, Tiffany felt trapped in monogamous relationships and always felt different to everyone.
She says: “Although I’d been in monogamous relationships for over 10 years, I always hated being someone’s ‘everything.’
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“I couldn’t shake the feeling off and worried if I was weird. I liked having a partner around, but I didn’t want to be fully entangled in their life.
“I wanted my own identity, and goals and constantly felt restricted.”
I’m in a throuple and while going to bed is fun, it can be a nightmare too - our family call our romance an ‘abomination’
Then in 2015, when Tiffany was 28, she discovered her close relatives had opened their marriage.
She was left stunned, as the couple had always been one she’d looked up to and aspired to be.
Tiffany says: “Hearing the words ‘open marriage’ and ‘polyamorous’ for the first time in my life; I was bewildered.
“This caused a snow-ball effect, and I went down a rabbit hole of reading books on it.
“Suddenly, it was like all the pieces to my puzzle had been completed.
“After a while, I plucked up the courage to join some online groups for support. I began slowly meeting people online who were poly too.
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“For the next year, I began dating multiple people at the same time. After 31 years, I felt like my true, authentic self.”
On Tiffany’s Facebook, she posted loud and clear about polyamory. A year later, in 2019, it caught the eye of an old school friend of hers, Joseph, an army soldier.
Tiffany says: “Joe lived in my hometown and we hadn’t seen each-other since we were 16.
“Over the years, I’d seen he was in the army. After he liked over 10 posts specifically about polyamory, I slid into his inbox.
“Joe told me how he has been swinging for a decade, before becoming polyamorous.
“He was living his truth, just like me. Over the next year we chatted online whilst seeing multiple people.
“The following year, we finally went on a lunch date and we had undeniable chemistry.
“I’d just got into a relationship with someone else and had another partner too. Whilst Joe had ended things with his primary partner and was seeing other people.”
What is polyamory?
Polyamory is the practice of having romantic relationships with more than one person at the same time, with the knowledge and consent of all parties.
It can refer to relationships where one person has multiple partners or spouses, or where all parties are in a relationship with each other, for example in a throuple.
According to , 6.8% of people in the UK have been in a polyamorous relationship.
Months later, Tiffany and Joseph began dating, before eventually falling in love.
After finding happiness with Joseph, Tiffany reconnected with software architect, Andy, a man she’d briefly spoken to online through a polyamorous Facebook group.
Tiffany says: “Joseph had such a good heart. He was compassionate and made me laugh.
“After thinking we were just sex for a while, we finally gave in to our feelings and made a proper go of it.
“Whilst Andy and I got more serious too. Andy was married and his wife supported him.
“He lived 3000 miles away but I loved chatting to him. He was intellectual, and stimulated me in a different ways to what Joe did.”
Tiffany embarked on a long-distance relationship with Andy and began face-timing every day.
During that year, she and Joseph grew stronger too and met each-other’s families.
With both relationships thriving, she ended up meeting university professor, Allen, on Tinder the following year in 2021.
Allen had a long-term partner, Morgan Hitchcock, 35, a designer, whom he lived with and they were also polyamorous.
Tiffany says: “Just months after becoming a couple with Allen, Joe proposed to me during a surprise comedy PowerPoint skit.
“I was so happy. But after our engagement news broke, some older family members became confused.
“They questioned us, asking if we weren’t polyamorous anymore. I told them we still were and nothing was changing.
“After that, as I began planning our big day, I continued juggling my other relationships. I still made them a priority too.
“Andy and I didn’t go a single day without speaking. And after Joe and I moved in together, Andy and Joe met on Face-time.
“They loved each-other and became friends.
“Soon Joe began going for dinner and drinks with my other partner Allen once a month. They called it their ‘bro dates’
“Then I also became good friends with Allen’s partner, Morgan. And Joe was seeing his own partners too.
“It was really beautiful, and our partners couldn’t be happier for us getting married.
“As the wedding edged closer, my other sexual partners had fizzled out over time.”
With so much going on, Tiffany and Joe began sharing their Google calendars with their different partners to let others know their availability.
Then in October last year, Tiffany and Joseph’s big day arrived and they married in front of family and friends.
Tiffany says: “As it was a special occasion, Joe and I made a pact not to sleep with anyone else that night, as it was our wedding night.
“I walked down the aisle to Joe and I felt like the luckiest woman.
“As Andy was far away, he sadly couldn’t make it. But Allen and Morgan came along, congratulated us and partied.
“I made sure to keep the PDA with Allen on the down-low, as I didn’t want to shock our older family members.
“Then after the reception Allen and Morgan went back to mine and Joe’s place together for more drinks. We had an amazing time.
“Now, Joe and I are settled into married life, and we couldn’t be happier. Things are amazing with Allen and Andy too.
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“Joe and I now have a podcast, Melan8ted Podcast, where we discuss all things about married, poly life.
“I hope our love story is proof of how amazing polyamory truly is.”
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