OPINION
NO SCRUFFS
Like Rihanna I slip into a sexy outfit before my fiancé gets home – he’s never seen me in scruffy clothes
Scroll down to read why making an effort helps to keep the spark alive
RIHANNA recently revealed in an interview with Vogue that she always wants to look good when her partner ASAP Rocky comes home.
The mum-of-two said: “You’ve still got to keep it together because when Rocky comes home, I don’t want to look busted, you know?”
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Yes Rihanna! Said it like a true lyrical genius.
My partner Aaron and I have shared an incredible 14 years together.
He's 31, and I'm 29, and I'm proud to say I've spent nearly all my adult life by his side.
We recently got engaged, and the question everyone keeps asking is, 'What's the secret to keeping the spark alive?'
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Beyond the usual pillars of trust, respect, and honesty - important but a bit dull - our relationship thrives on the magic of appearance, meaning we both look presentable, smell fresh and try and be the best versions of ourselves at all times.
So, my answer is always, 'I make an effort to look good when he comes home.'
That's why I totally resonate with Rihanna
I don’t believe anyone who says they wouldn't mind their partner 'letting go' of themselves.
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And to those who are offended, I roll my eyes.
I believe it’s all about the upkeep, and why not?
You'll never catch me without a manicure and a pedicure.
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I focus heavily on my skincare.
The last thing I'd want to do is look like Frankenstein without makeup.
And so, that's why I regularly book facials and spend a fortune on potions and lotions.
Other essentials? Always having a wax, doing my brows, having semi-permanent makeup, owning at home perfume and ‘going out’ perfume, and never being seen in scruffy clothes.
So why tempt them by not making an effort? I believe this stops the wandering eyes
Yasmin Harisha
Even if I've lounged around all day, I'll freshen up and get dressed into a nice slinky outfit, matching tight fitted lounge wear or even my silk pyjamas before my partner gets home.
Why would he want to see a slobbery mess after a hard day's work?
It means we are always in for a romantic night, the spark is constantly there and the passion is certainly alive. It hasn't changed since we first met.
Sure, there are hangover days when you wake up looking severely dehydrated and malnourished, but at least it's a well-manicured mess.
And let's be clear, he follows the rules too.
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He keeps his hands manicured, his face shaven, and gets regular haircuts.
How could you fancy someone who doesn't make an effort to be clean, fit, healthy, and well-groomed?
This effort isn't just for appearances - it's better for a healthy relationship.
It’s common for people to worry about being cheated on - even those of us who are in the most secure, committed relationships.
I feel like there's no better feeling than knowing your partner still fancies you like they did at the start
Yasmin Harisha
So why tempt them by not making an effort? I believe this stops the wandering eyes.
It means when we go out together, we are confident.
And ultimately, this means we do more things together and enjoy spending quality time and being in each other's company.
Most importantly, we still fancy each other - and that’s what keeps the spark alive.
No one ever feels good looking ";busted," as Rihanna says.
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And personally, I feel like there's no better feeling than knowing your partner still fancies you like they did at the start.
Take a Bow, Rihanna, I'm with you on this one.
Why making an effort in your appearance helps to keep the spark alive
By Georgie Culley, The Sun Newspaper's sex and relationship expert
If you are in a relationship, it is so important to make an effort with your apperance and not let it slide.
Once you get too comfortable with someone it’s a slippery slope into becoming flatmates, rather than lovers.
Research even shows that women feel sexier - and more in the mood - if they feel good about themselves.
From wearing sexy lingerie, to smelling good and even being all made up, these are all 'feel good' psychological things.
They can enhance your self-esteem and body image. When you feel good about how you look, it can translate into a more confident attitude.
Sexy lingerie can evoke a sense of empowerment and control over one's own body and sexuality.
And never underestimate the importance of a good scent, it’s a real aphrodisiac.
Studies also show that men respond to visual sexual stimuli, such as a naughty nude, porn or sexy lingerie.
So if you’re looking to keep that romance alive then lounging about in an unsexy dressing gown and granny pants probably isn’t going to do the trick.
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