GLANCING at the empty place at the dinner table at every birthday or family gathering, Amanda Canales is hit by an emotional tidal wave of both grief and guilt.
Grief for the loss of her beloved sister Alisha who was shot dead and guilt because in a unimaginable chain of events, Alisha had taken the bullet for Amanda who had been the intended target.
Tragically, Alisha's murder was the result of mum-of-three Amanda's ex Kevin Lewis hiring his cousin to murder her after she finally left him after years of domestic abuse.
However they shot dead the wrong woman - a mistake which saw Amanda's life spared.
She says: "People tell me all the time it's not my fault.
"I understand that logically... But it's always going to be there. I was the link between them.
"But I should have seen the red flags. I should have moved. I should have been more careful. I should have played it safe.
"Had I known the most dangerous time for a person in a domestic violence relationship is when they try to leave I probably would have done things differently."
Amanda first met Kevin - who had been in the military - in 2007 at a restaurant.
She says: "He was there with his friend in the booth behind me and I was there with my friend, Ari. He was flirting and smiling and I was sort of dismissive."
Amanda's friend Ari Pines adds: "[Their story] you would think was picture perfect.
"We were eating nachos and Kevin came and sat right in our booth next to Amanda. He told her he wanted to get to know her better and take her out."
Speaking in new Netflix true crime documentary Worst Ex Ever, a tearful Amanda explains how she ran into him again the following weekend.
She says: "He made a joke about how it was meant to be we ran into each other."
And he was a hit with Amanda's brother, Mannie Canales, who says: "I immediately liked him."
However, according to Mannie, their sister Alisha wasn't so keen.
"She thought Kevin was arrogant. Most of the stuff she said fell on deaf ears... I'd already decided I liked him," says Mannie.
Speaking about Alisha, also known as 'Punky', Amanda says: "[She] was very loving, very big personality - the type of person that would do anything for her family."
In August 2007, after seven months of dating, the pair moved in together in their hometown Everett, Washington, and Kevin asked Amanda's dad for permission to marry her, which he gladly gave.
They wed in July 2009, in a lavish ceremony with 200 guests, with Amanda's three sisters as bridesmaids.
Two years later the pair were delighted to discover they were expecting their first child, a daughter they named Eliana.
When Eliana was three months old, Amanda found out she was pregnant again, and they had three children in quick succession - their two girls, Eliana and Amaya, and a little boy, Isaiah.
Amanda adds: "As soon as Eliana was born, Kevin actually teared up. He held her and loved her right away.
"I was a little surprised. It was a very rare occasion for me to see him emotional."
However despite appearances, there was a dark side to Kevin, and their relationship.
Amanda says: "One of the big problems in the marriage was his lack of affection. When he would get upset he would try and put me down and call me a lot of names.
"When I was pregnant with my son he called me a crybaby and fat b****. I was like 'who did I marry?'
"I think he had abandonment issues from when he was young.
"I remember asking myself if I had made a mistake in marrying Kevin. [He] was emotionally abusive throughout the marriage."
However, with divorce not a common practice in Amanda's family, she tried to salvage the relationship, saying: "Certainly after having kids I felt committed to trying to make it work and so I tried to avoid certain conversations once I learned his triggers."
However, after a couple of years of marriage he became even more controlling.
Amanda says: "He would check my phone on a regular basis. He wanted me to delete all of my male contacts in my phone.
"There were numerous times he was upset about something I was wearing.
"I remember being at a family reunion.
"I was wearing a t shirt and I had bent down to pick up one of the toys for the kids and he got upset about that because my breasts were showing when I bent over.
"I was really taken aback."
In February 2016, Amanda finally asked for a divorce.
She says: "He was super upset about it, and seemed hurt. I remember being surprised. I really didn't think he was going to care that much."
With money tight, the pair continued to live together until the November that year, when things really came to a head.
Amanda says: "I was sleeping. He went into my room. He was kind of in a rage. He was upset, wanting to look through my phone.
"Somehow we ended up in the closet and he was holding me hostage there.
"Kevin's 5ft 11, 185lb and he's a trained boxer.
"He was jamming my fingers into the unlock button on my phone... and it wasn't working. Then he just punched me square in the face.
"I remember being in shock. He got a towel and started cleaning the blood off my face. He hugged me and then he left for work."
Amanda quickly looked for a place to rent and moved out, but didn't report the incident to police.
She says: "Kevin was constantly trying to convince me to come back. He apologised all of the time and said it would never happen again. The fact I didn't want to be with him just drove him insane.
"At one point he said 'come home or else I'm going to file for child support, alimony, and full custody, and if I don't get it I'm going to kill you.
"I really didn't think it's something he would go through with."
The new true crime series Worst Ex Ever documents four instances of relationships gone extremely wrong, featuring interviews with survivors, victims’ families and investigators...
However, coming home from dance practice one eve in June 2017, Amanda was attacked on her driveway as she got out of the car.
She recalls: "I opened the door and was hit over the head. I was completely blindsided. One after another, hit over the head. I started to panic - am I going to make it?
"My vision was really blurry and I was trying not to pass out... I got a hold of my phone and I called 911."
Her brother Mannie says: "I was terrified to learn she was assaulted, beaten, left for dead and in a hospital."
Amanda says: "My face is split open, I can't move my arm. I had broken teeth and bruises on my legs and arms."
However police said were unable to arrest Kevin as Amanda couldn't positively ID him.
She says: "I knew it was him, but apparently that was not enough."
Amanda filed for a protection order, which included the kids too, stating he couldn't go near the family, and he was required to pay child support.
Working overtime, Amanda relied on the support of an employed nanny, and her sister Alisha, who would always be round looking after them.
Then, in September 2017, Amanda was working at the local hospital as the director of anaesthesia, and was attending a big conference in New York, while Alisha and the family's nanny Abigail cared for the kids.
Abigail recalls: "It was a normal night. We got the kids ready for bed.
"Normally I would stay up really late binging TV shows and because Alisha was staying on the couch I didn't want to impinge so I went to bed at midnight."
However she was later awoken by gunshots, and in a call to police a clearly aghast Abigail can be heard saying: "I was sleeping in my room.
"I heard two pops and it woke me up. She's lying face down in her own blood."
Tearfully, she recalls: "The kids were asking where aunty Punky was. They were asking who the lady was lying on the floor. They must have been terrified."
Unaware of the events unfolding at home, Amanda headed to her conference meetings the next morning.
She says: "I remember my phone ringing. It was my dad.
"He said 'Amanda... He killed her. He killed Punky.'
"After that is a blur. I threw my stuff in a suitcase and got on the first flight out of there.
"Those bullets were meant for me."
Deputy prosecutor Jarett Goodkin says: "Detectives went to speak to Kevin Lewis. He indicated he had been home and hadn't left the residence."
Scared he was going to return to 'finish the job', Amanda was left grieving but also fearing for her own life.
She says: "We had to keep the time and date of [Alisha's funeral] a secret because it would have been an obvious known location for me.
"It was really unfair we couldn't grieve properly."
Amanda moved into a shelter with the kids, and says: "I had to kind of live having to look over my shoulder for quite a while."
While police had no leads in the homicide case, Lewis had been sent to prison in the meantime, finally convicted for the assault against Amanda, and got three years.
Eventually, police were also handed the lead they needed in the murder, when a tip call came through a few months later.
The call revealed a woman named Alexis Hale was making comments about how she and her boyfriend killed someone.
It was discovered her boyfriend was Jerradon Phelps - Kevin Lewis's cousin.
Deputy prosecutor Jarett Goodkin says: "This was really the break we were looking for."
Women's Aid has this advice for victims and their families:
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – [email protected].
Women’s Aid provides a - available weekdays from 8am-6pm and weekends 10am-6pm.
You can also call the freephone 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
Police started to look into the pair's phone records and social media accounts.
Goodkin says: "They found videos on the night the actual homicide was carried out.
"Snapchat showed Alexis Hale and Jerradon Phelps together on the night of the homicide [and they were] tracked from Spokane to Everett.
"[and] there was indications they had stopped at Mr Lewis's home on the way to the location of the homicide.
"There were also videos after the homicide of Mr Phelps fanning money, and comments that indicated he had done something to obtain that money."
Both were brought in for questioning, and it was revealed they'd been paid $2,400 to carry out the murder, with Alexis earning just $200.
"No punishment will make it just, and she's still gone. It doesn't right that wrong."
Amanda Canales
Goodkin says: "Mr Phelps said that he'd been contacted by Mr Lewis, basically saying he was looking for a person to carry out a murder."
Alexis asked if there would be kids in the house, which Kevin confirmed there would be, and he showed them a photo of the target - Amanda.
In the interview, Phelps says: "Who ever was opening the door was getting shot."
Goodkin says: "Ultimately Mr Lewis is the mastermind behind the entire event."
In October 2021, both Hale and Phelps pleaded guilty and Hale received 15 years in prison and Phelps nearly 32 years.
Lewis pleaded not guilty, so Amanda and her family had to endure a four-week trial before he was found guilty and sentenced to life without parole.
Amanda says: "Jay's testimony was one of the most difficult parts.
"How Punky was hanging on to the door knob and trying to protect my kids, and used her last breath trying to do that.
"No punishment will make it just, and she's still gone. It doesn't right that wrong.
"In a way I feel I need to live my life, but I have to live hers too so I just do my best."
Stream all four episodes of the Worst Ex Ever on Netflix now.
