FLISS, 28, reveals how she got into escorting after a string of bad relationships - and details the good, bad and ugly of the profession...
FLISS could feel her heart beating as she walked into the hotel reception and scoured the room - was this really a good idea? She couldn't be sure.
She was meeting a man, but this wasn’t a first date — it was her first night working as an escort.
Her work as an artist might have been poorly paid but money wasn’t the real motivation for the attractive 28-year-old’s new, potentially dangerous, side hustle.
“I went through a pretty awful break-up at the end of 2022 and went on to date a string of incompetent men, trying to fill the void,” she says.
“Each fling I had seemed to end more traumatically than the last so I decided to take a break from men and go celibate.
“Then last summer I was out with one of my female pals and she told me how she’d stopped dating for similar reasons — but she was making thousands of pounds a month as an escort.
“At first I was shocked. Every one has heard horror stories about the sex industry and the dangers it poses to women. A terrifying 68 per cent of street sex workers have experienced physical assault in the UK.
“Sex work has always seemed such a taboo — and sort of seedy.
"But as we chatted, she told me how loads of our other mates were secretly doing the same thing too.
“The perks, she told me, were not just the money, but also the trips to the theatre, hotels and fancy restaurants, as well as the gifts and — she emphasised — good sex with older men.
“She told me it was rare to have a bad experience — these dates were set up with boundaries in place through a legitimate website. Everyone was traceable and she could background check them.
"And because she was essentially having relationships with these men, the sex just got better and better.
“She used an exclusive website to make matches which the men paid for but the women didn’t, and this made it easy to put boundaries in place.
“She told me it was easy to spot creeps who sent dirty messages, and to weed out anyone she couldn’t imagine sleeping with.
“I realised my reason for celibacy wasn’t to abstain from sex but to abstain from falling into another bad relationship.
“Working as an escort meant I could win all round, I could have no- strings sex, get paid and keep men at arm’s length.
"I took a few weeks to think about it. What if I was jumping out of the fire pit of toxic dating apps dating and into the fire of sex work?
"And what if any one in my family found out? The idea of my mum of dad - both of whom have good jobs in the city - knowing I was doing this was unsettling. The social stigma around sex work would be hard for them to overcome."
Fliss’s story might sound extreme — but last week, high-class escort agency London Deluxe said business is booming, with an estimated one in ten British men paying for sex.
And increasing numbers of intelligent, educated women are offering their services in return, as a way to escape the nine-to-five, enjoy no-strings pleasure and go on dates without needing to use apps.
More than 100,000 adults, mostly women, are now involved in some form of prostitution in the UK — up from 72,000 in 2016.
The exchange of sex for cash is legal in the UK but advertising your services, running a brothel or soliciting clients on the street is not.
London Deluxe thinks the boom points to a broader societal acceptance of sex work as a profession, as well as more men giving up on traditional relationships and delaying settling down.
This is backed up by research by escort directory Vivastreet, which found three-quarters of call girls had experienced an uptick in clients looking for companionship, rather than sex, since the pandemic.
Its survey of more than 21,000 people who use or work as escorts found that nearly a quarter hire a sex worker purely for company.
But the profession does not come without risks. The industry is - by its secretive nature - very hard to regulate or monitor and predatory behaviour is common.
After setting up her profile under a fake name in July 2023 — and stressing she was looking for fun without commitment, not just money — Fliss soon had her first match.
The man told her he had a stressful job and was looking for company and someone to spend his money on.
After agreeing a fee of £300 per date, they met for a coffee in a public place - to ensure Fliss was safe - in London.
“He told me he was 44 and in a sexless marriage which was clearly making him very unhappy,” she recalls.
“He asked me a lot about my life, what I wanted for the future.
“We just chatted over a latte, then he sent me £300 on Monzo.
“The following week we met up again for a drink in a swanky hotel lobby.
"Afterwards, we went upstairs and had sex which lasted for 15 minutes, then chatted for 45 more.
“When I left, another £300 was transferred into my account.
“While I wasn’t sure what to expect from the sex, I was surprised that this man was totally focused on ensuring I was getting pleasure from the experience.
“From then, I saw him every week for about an hour.”
A month later, Fliss connected with a second man who said he visited London for work once every few months and wanted a date for theatre trips and dinners.
Again, she took the same safety steps - meeting him in public first and laying boundaries down.
He offered her a weekly allowance of £300 but also started sending gifts of expensive, sexy underwear, and paying birthday and Christmas bonuses of £150.
“One time there was a burlesque show I really wanted to see. I asked him for tickets and we went together,” says Fliss.
“Over time, he told me his wife used sex as a weapon in their failing marriage — she would not sleep with him as punishment.
“Or when she did, she’d act like he should be really grateful.
“I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. And even though I had glimmers of guilt that he had a wife at home, I distanced myself from thinking too much about it.
“I’ve met about four other men, but some of them wanted too much from me — including one who wanted me to pretend to be his girlfriend in front of his mates.
"Another guy I saw for a few weeks.
“He’d call me from the office and ask me to pop over for sex occasionally.
“Each time, I start my relationships with an initial meeting to check I feel safe and that the boundaries are clear.
“And while sex has been a part of all of these arrangements, most of these men seemed to take more value from our conversations.
“All of them wanted to offload — whether it was a relationship problem, work stress or family matters.”
Her experience is echoed by Elizabeth G, who was one of London’s highest-paid call girls for nearly two decades and who has written a book called Unashamed: Why Do People Pay For Sex?
She earned £100 a minute bedding celebs, politicians and other high-profile customers, with a six-month waiting list for her services.
DR EMMA CUNNINGHAM, senior lecturer in criminology, with research interests in violence against women and girls, says:
"Some sex workers insist this is just a job, and they are making lots of money from it.
But there appear to be many more with awful experiences of violence and PTSD who become trapped in this work.
Some women may be topping up low-paid employment.
Some charities – Beyond Streets and Women’s Aid – have said the cost-of-living crisis has pushed more women into the informal economy of sex and escort work.
From films like Pretty Woman there is a romanticised notion of escorting, and it is not a crime to buy or sell sex between two consenting adults in the UK.
Many sex workers end up with PTSD.
Many are trafficked and exploited and take drugs to forget the trauma they have experienced.
Many female sex workers have experienced severe repeated violence.
How can a woman who is selling sex to a man who is physically much stronger than her withdraw her consent if he hurts her?
He is potentially capable of killing her.
According to research, women selling sex are 18 times more likely to be murdered than those who do not."
Each time, I start my relationships with an initial meeting to check I feel safe and that the boundaries are clear
Fliss
Born and raised in a strict farming family in rural Bedfordshire, Elizabeth entered the sex industry as a broke university graduate on a gap year in Australia.
She earned £1,600 a week giving naked massages with a “happy ending” at a parlour in Sydney and established herself as a high-end escort when she returned to the UK to begin a master’s degree in acting.
Elizabeth would flit from one five-star hotel to the next, living the high life and earning a minimum £2,000 a night.
She says her clients were almost always rich, handsome and high-profile men in their fifties and sixties, often with wives or partners.
Around a fifth no longer found their partners attractive, while the same number were in a relationship with someone with a low sex drive.
Others, she says, met her for the thrill of doing something risky — but most were simply “very lonely men” who mainly wanted attention and companionship.
Some had fallen out of love with their partners or had never found “the one”.
Of these, many never asked for sex at all and would spend entire evenings talking, having dinner and watching TV.
“In my experience, the number one reason men pay for sex has nothing to do with intercourse, but rather the human need for companionship,” says Elizabeth.
Now 40, she retired from the industry last year after bedding around 5,000 men and making almost £1million.
She has turned to property development, but has stayed close friends with some of her clients.
“As long as women choose to enter sex work of their own choice then why should that be seen as wrong or shameful?” she says.
“It brought me financial independence and I loved doing it.
“I paid my taxes, even though I had to conceal my vocation for fear of the prejudice it would evoke, so I contributed to society while making many people happy.
“I said I was a massage therapist, which was accurate as I’d started out as one and still provided the service.
“I always used protection and got tested for STIs every six months.
“I was sensible and cautious when meeting someone new.
“If it felt off, I would reject the booking or walk away.
“The only risky encounter I had was with a group of drug dealers who had machetes in their room.
“They didn’t threaten me and I focused on remaining calm throughout the booking.”
But while it might seem like a lucrative side hustle if you are wanting a good time, there are huge risks if an employer or loved ones find out.
Last month, teacher Samantha Barguss, 30, was banned from the profession indefinitely after she was found to be moonlighting as an escort.
I paid my taxes, even though I had to conceal my vocation for fear of the prejudice it would evoke, so I contributed to society while making many people happy
Elizabeth G
Her double life was uncovered when an anonymous letter was sent to Hall Green Infant School in Birmingham and she was referred to the Teaching Regulation Agency.
A tribunal heard she was charging £220 per hour and £1,600 overnight, with pictures on an online profile of her engaged in intercourse.
Barguss told them she was not seeking financial gain, was trying to meet “like-minded” individuals after Covid negatively hit her relationship, and had tried to hide her identity in the images.
But the panel concluded she was guilty of unacceptable professional conduct and could not apply for the prohibition order to be set aside until at least July 2029.
Fliss has also kept her work low-key.
“I’ve been seeing both my clients for the past 12 months,” she reveals.
“I can be myself and feel empowered, sexy and valued.
“I like that I am an escape for them.
“But I have been pretty careful with who I have told about it.
“I have some friends and family who might be upset or judge me. And it’s nobody else’s business.
“I’ve made about £5,000 from it this year and that will totally change my life.
“I can travel and plan for my future.”
