GROW WITH THE FLOW
I quit shaving my legs at 45 – my knees look like a lion’s mane but it makes me a better mum
MUM reveals why her daughter's encounter with a bully made her think twice about shaving her own legs
I DISCOVERED my eight-year-old daughter frantically rummaging through a drawer as I walked into the bathroom one day last summer.
She tearfully confessed it was in an attempt to find a razor.
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Shocked and upset, I gently asked why.
It all poured out, as she reluctantly revealed a classmate had called her a “monkey” because of her “hairy legs”.
Despite my daughter knowing the child was a bully, she had taken the comments to heart and told me she hated her legs and did not want hair on them.
She wanted to be “normal”.
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I immediately came out with all the cliches you would expect — how she is beautiful as she is and should be proud of her body.
I explained how everyone is different, that there is no “normal”, apart from the fact human beings are all different.
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I told her this bully was just perpetuating an ignorant stereotype passed on to the girl, most likely, by her mum or older sister.
That they would have been brainwashed by impossibly perfect images on TV, in magazines and on the internet.
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“Everyone grows hair and it’s nothing to be ashamed of,” I reassured her.
But she then asked: “Why do you not have hairy legs, Mummy?”
It was a question that I could not answer.
I'm proud to have hairy legs… people say it's 'ugly', 'unhygienic' & tell me to go to the doctor over how fast it grows
Armpit beards
From the age of around 11 or 12 I have had hairless legs.
I have spent more nights than I can remember plucking strays, ripping off wax strips or, ouch, running an epilator over my thighs, one of the most novel forms of self-harm in the name of beauty.
I mindlessly accepted spending hours — and hundreds of pounds — on hair removal as a rite of passage.
It was my punishment for being born female.
But search #BodyHairPositivity on TikTok and you will find a whopping 70million posts promoting the acceptance of female body hair.
Type “Januhairy” into Google and there is a whole movement encouraging women to ditch the razor and embrace the fuzz.
Models Sydney Jordan and Lourdes Leon both proudly showed off anything-but-bare legs on the catwalk this year, while Lourdes’ mum, Madonna, has flaunted underarm hair over the years.
Rachel McAdams, Ashley Graham and Rihanna have also proudly posed for snaps with hair visible on their legs and under their arms.
But the general consensus still seems to be that body hair on women is revolting.
I admit I have often recoiled in horror at armpit beards exposed by beachgoers on the Continent, and have rarely let the side down when it comes to smooth shins.
But right there and then, on the bathroom floor, holding my tiny ball of perfection in my arms, I told my daughter I was more than happy for my legs to grow hair — and pledged not to shave them for the whole summer.
That was a year ago, and I feel like a better mum for sticking to my promise.
Not that letting my legs go unshaven has been easy.
There have been moments — parties, holidays, romantic nights away — when I have been tempted to take to the razor.
But then my promise comes back to me.
At first it felt wrong.
I was worried my husband Jamie, 47, who works in construction, would go green if he caught a glimpse of my weirdly-haloed knees when the sun hit them. But he didn’t.
I thought my 11-year-old son might ask me to cover up if we went on picnics with friends.
But again, he has hardly registered.
Children are as accepting as they are impressionable and my legs are normal to them.
Of course, as I’m quite fair the fuzz on my legs is a lot less noticeable than it would be on some of my friends with darker complexions and hair.
I like to think I’d still stick to my guns, even if it was harder to pull off, but understand that they may think differently and think it’s not as much of a big deal for me.
The jungle is less obvious unless you are up close and personal, but several times I have caught commuters quickly looking the other way as the light reflects off my hairy knees on the train into work.
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I still feel self-conscious on occasion — I found myself apologising to the therapist when I went for a massage, worried they would find me revolting and maybe do a little sick in their mouth when they got to my legs.
But on the whole, I am navigating a hairy-legged life really quite well.
This does not mean I will never shave my legs again and, although I am less militant in my underarm regime, I am not going down that Julia Roberts road just yet.
But for now, allowing my leg hair to be “au naturel” feels right, not least so I can set a good example to my daughter.
If she decides in a few years that shaving is the right thing for her, that is fine.
It is her body, it is her choice.
But I will not let bullies or morons dictate what is right and what is wrong when it comes to how she lives her life.
With the new series of Love Island upon us, we are seeing another batch of contestants — male and female — waxed to within an inch of their lives.
I worry about the message that sends to young girls.
The world of TikTok and Insta is full of unachievable aesthetics, from trout pouts to eyebrows resembling angry slugs, and hairless bodies are just another part of the problem.
But with body-positive hashtags and a growing number of celebrities leading the hairy way, perhaps the tide is turning.
Watching The Gathering on Channel 4 last week, I was impressed to see main character Kelly, played by Eva Morgan, tearing off her top to reveal an impressive underarm bush.
By featuring proudly natural characters, TV shows can help to normalise body hair, which in turn can encourage acceptance.
I am not suggesting a hairy revolution.
I think people should be able to look how they want to look.
But nobody, especially vulnerable young girls, should be pressured into changing or made to feel repulsed by their own unique body.
Responses to my little stand have been mostly positive.
One friend suggested I had knees a Neanderthal would envy.
Another did a little fake vom before reeling off every orifice she feels the need to Veet — and there were lots.
But on the whole, people really don’t seem to notice and, if they do, they don’t care.
My kids don’t clock it any more and neither do their friends, which is exactly as it should be.
My legs are more like theirs now, I’m just reinforcing the fact that they are normal.
I am certain I will revert to hair removal at some point, but for now I am au naturel and proud.
I don’t often celebrate parenting wins and I think I am a pretty rubbish role model most of the time.
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But on this occasion I am high-fiving myself on a regular basis.
And, as every mother knows, the feeling that you are doing something good for your child is worth more than a million compliments about having smooth legs.
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