FAKE BAKE
I’m Kim Kardashian’s fake tan artist – the mistakes that ruin your glow, and the knickers you should never wear
Including the knickers you should NEVER wear
WHEN I finally got the call, it was 2am: “Jimmy, I’m home, can you please come over?”
I’ve been Kim Kardashian’s self-tan artist for 15 years, and the later at night the booking, the more important the tan.
That evening, she was going to attend the Met Gala and her flight had been delayed, so her tan had to happen, regardless of the time.
Kim and I hit it off from the day we met in 2009, and one of my most iconic jobswas being flown to Paris to tan everyone before her wedding to Kanye West in 2014.
The Kardashians are always grateful, and even thanked me for travelling all that way when, of course, it was an honour to be invited.
For Kim’s tan, I went a shade lighter than usual, as I would for any bride.
Hair & Beauty
The last thing you want to hear when you’re wearing that beautiful dress is: “Nice tan.”
I was still a novice when I tanned my first celebrity in 2002.
A friend dropped the news on me: “Hey, someone’s coming for a tan, but she’s upset because she’s being chased by the paparazzi. So be cool.”
When the door opened, I was like: “Holy s**t! It’s Lara Flynn Boyle!” It turned out she was about to walk the red carpet for Men In Black II.
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My name began to spread around Hollywood, but it was the Golden Globes 2005 that really made me.
Eva Longoria had been doing lots of press for Desperate Housewives, and booked me for her red-carpet spray tan, then accidentally fell asleep and left it on far too long.
At the Globes she was much darker than she had been on TV the day before – but thankfully she looked gorgeous!
CONTOUR LIKE COCO
I contour all my clients, whether they need it or not. At home, I recommend doing your tan in a room where you have an overhead light in front of a mirror, which is usually in your bathroom. Wherever you can see shadow, you can go in with some extra tan and carve out that contour. You can use your fingertips or a make-up brush to trace it, then blend the edges so you don’t get a striped line.
How to contour your…
Shoulders
Lean forward or feel where the collarbone divot is, then add more tan right there.
Arms
Flex to see where to apply more tan to emphasise the tone. If there’s no definition, use tan to make the underside of the upper arms darker for a slimming effect.
Face
Take the product from the ear down to the jaw and up to the other ear, so it frames your face. Then add extra under your cheekbones and blend.
Abs
Draw a line going straight down from the sternum and over the belly button. Though I usually won’t carve horizontal abs lines on women if they’re not already there – you don’t want to paint on a six-pack!
Legs
Add a little more tan on the outer hip, starting at the top and taking it down the sides and on the inner thighs. You can also contour your calves by pointing your foot, and then tracing a little extra product around where the muscle pops out.
Everyone was talking about her amazing tan, and when she mentioned my name on the red carpet, it made my career.
My next huge moment came when I crashed the 2006 Victoria’s Secret fashion show.
I lived nearby and bumped into Miranda Kerr’s hairdresser. “Hey, why don’t you give Miranda a gorgeous tan for the rehearsal?” he said.
It was the best free tan I ever did, because next thing, I was getting call after call from all the other Angels.
Of course, there’s been the odd mishap. There was the star who spilled coffee all over her legs right after I’d tanned her for a huge red-carpet event.
I dashed back to fix it, and she looked flawless for her premiere.
THE TAN COMMANDMENTS
These tips are the next best thing to a tan from Jimmy himself.
- Exfoliate the right way by avoiding oily scrubs, as they can leave a barrier and cause a streaky finish. Dry exfoliation creates the ideal canvas.
- Never wear paper tanning pants. Instead wear a seamless thong for a sexy outline. Avoid anything lacy, as it looks dirty.
- Use the best-quality products – I only use my products to tan my clients. , contains a hydration complex as well as colloidal gold for a soft-focus finish. Just pick the depth of tan you want – ID3 is a day in the sun, ID4 is a weekend away and ID5 is a week’s holiday.
- Work in light layers to help your tan last longer. Let the first one dry completely before applying another. I’ll only do a single heavy layer if a client is in a big hurry.
- Troubleshoot problem areas. Applying body lotion to dry spots – such as elbows, heels, knuckles and knees – will pick up excess tan. Make sure the lotion has fully absorbed into the skin before applying tan.
- Apply tan from the legs up, but don’t put product directly on your feet. They absorb a lot of tan, so just use residual product from the mitt to avoid them ending up too dark.
- Go lighter on the face for a more natural look. Don’t forget you can dilute your self-tan with a non-oil based moisturiser before you apply it.
- Stay moisturised. After your first shower, apply body lotion and keep doing this daily. Drink lots of water, too, as self-tan lasts longer on hydrated skin.
- Top up your glow – fight fade by using a gradual tan from day three.
- Be aware of your cycle. I’ve learned from clients that self-tan doesn’t last as long when they’re on their period. So if your tan fades faster at certain times of the month, don’t worry, you’ve not done anything wrong – it’s normal.
Then there was the sunny day I was tanning American actress Miranda Cosgrove.
I set up my tent on her patio and it was perfect – until I shut the back door and realised we were locked out, and she was in nothing but a tanning cap and bikini bottoms.
She thought it was hilarious, but we always do her tan in the garage now, just in case!
The best thing about my job is giving people confidence. When I help clients to feel good, that’s the greatest feeling in the world.
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When you work with naked people, they have to trust you.
My friends love to joke that nobody can get someone’s clothes off faster than I can! But to me, this job is all about respect and making sure my clients feel amazing.
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