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NOTHING TO WEAR
From bum-skimming micro shorts to flesh-baring blouses, why latest fashion trends are a disaster for real women’s bodies
Barely-there bottoms aren’t the only trend alienating anyone who isn’t a pencil-thin 21-year-old
EVERY week, as I scroll through the “new in” section on my favourite fashion websites, my heart sinks as, lately, there is nothing “new in” for me.
I’m a size 10. Well, maybe an 11, as I’m between sizes. I’m certainly not mid or plus size, but if I was to wear the season’s styles, I’d look stupid.
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This week, Italian fashion house Gucci descended on London’s Tate Modern with its cruise collection. Supermodel Kate Moss and daughter Lila, pop icon Dua Lipa and Normal People actress Daisy Edgar-Jones gathered to gawp at Gucci’s latest creations.
And they all looked absolutely gorgeous.
I particularly loved 21-year-old Lila’s yellow short suit. The rich, buttery colour, the tailored jacket, the perfect little shorts with her even more perfect legs sticking out of them. Good for her — if you’ve got ’em, flaunt ’em.
The rest of the fashion pack had micro shorts on, too (think a slightly longer alternative to your pants). But it’s a trend I wouldn’t — and couldn’t — wear. Ever.
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Love handles
How mortifying to pop to Tesco in Cheeky Girl-style hot pants, or what basically resemble blokes’ Y-fronts? I shudder at the thought — and no doubt my fellow shoppers would shudder, too.
But barely-there bottoms aren’t the only trend alienating anyone who isn’t a pencil-thin 21-year-old.
My job as Fashion Editor is to know what’s hot and what’s not, what’s in shops and what people are wearing. But this season, stores seem flooded with looks I find unwearable — and I’m sure many more “normal” people do, too.
And I had to ask myself: 'What reinforcements has she got holding up her boobs?'
Clemmie Fieldsend
For example, I wouldn’t be caught dead in the love handles-baring low-rise jeans that are dominating the High Street.
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I recently saw a picture of the stunning Sydney Sweeney in a pair — with boyish-looking boxers poking out the top. Despite her beauty, I thought the White Lotus star looked daft.
Sydney Sweeney sparkles in $5,800 sequined underwear at Miu Miu’s Paris Fashion Week show
And I had to ask myself: “What reinforcements has she got holding up her boobs?”
The other thing irritating me about fashion is, if it’s not open at the back, it’s open at the front. While I’m all for body confidence and wearing what you want, there’s no way I’m standing on a packed train, or visiting the office, with my stomach, bra and boobs on show. I’d hate to put anyone off their corn flakes.
Unless you have a neat little bust and washboard abs, you’ll have a camisole underneath.
I can’t wear those either. If you’ve got more than a handful of a cup size, you’ll need a bra. And its straps will be visible beneath the needle-thin straps of your top.
Right now, Zara is the worst offender. When its models aren’t crouching awkwardly on top of kitchen stoves they are wearing crocheted flared trousers and spaghetti-strapped sequin crop tops. After scrolling through the Spanish brand’s latest drop, I found nothing for myself.
Give us clothes we can actually wear
I’m a 33-year-old M&S woman. From underwear to outerwear, I love them and look to them every week to see what’s trending.
They’re really nailing waistcoats at the moment. Simple and stylish, they’ve got them in cotton, linen and a rainbow of colours.
But as Fabulous Deputy Fashion Editor Abby McHale found last week, they aren’t designed for women with a fuller bust.
Their tailored fit squashes big boobs and doesn’t fit over curvy hips. It’s a trend best left to slender models . . . and Ronnie O’Sullivan.
Social media is full of mid-size and curvy women who agree this summer’s trends aren’t for them.
One, Lydia — clearly miffed over Zara’s slinky summer dresses — said on TikTok: “Unless you have a stick-thin model-type body, those dresses do not look good on anyone.” The alternative is sack-like dresses which scream, “Look, I’m covering up my body!”. And who wants that?
So, style gods, hear my plea. Next season, PLEASE give us some clothes we can actually wear.
Clemmie Fieldsend
Like all women, I have hang-ups. I don’t like my arms, waisted dresses don’t suit my shape and I would resemble a pork joint in a cutout. But it’s a struggle to find clothing that covers your bust, isn’t open at the back, doesn’t have cutouts and has sleeves.
Unless it’s a jumper. Which isn’t exactly summer-friendly.
Luckily, there are exceptions, like utility shirts and trousers, midaxi skirts and draping dresses.
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And let’s not forget, flats are reigning supreme among footwear. But you couldn’t wear many of this season’s key trends unless you’re in your twenties. And you wouldn’t wear them to work!
So, style gods, hear my plea. Next season, PLEASE give us some clothes we can actually wear.
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