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I’m polyamorous & in a throuple – we all sleep with other people but it’s the first time I feel secure in a relationship
Her parents had mixed responses to her three-way relationship
A POLYAMOROUS woman has opened up about her three-way relationship with her girlfriend and boyfriend — and how they all encourage each other to sleep with strangers.
When Florence Bark, 32, started dating her partner, Callum, 39, at the beginning of 2024, he had already been seeing Annie, 40, casually for a month.
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He shared that he was polyamorous, meaning he has romantic or sexual relationships with multiple partners at the same time.
Together, the three of them formed a triad. Annie is now Florence's girlfriend, and Callum is a partner to both of them.
Florence, who is from London but lives in Los Angeles, said it's the first time she has felt "secure" in a relationship.
The trio doesn't have restrictions, and they are all able to date other people outside of the relationship.
"I started dating Callum because he was into rope play and I wanted to try being tied up," explained Florence, a podcaster and author.
"He was also seeing someone else casually — who is now my girlfriend.
"He said he was seeing this other girl, they had spoken about me, and she thought I was really hot.
"I was scared as I hadn't really dated women before, but I knew it was something I wanted to do."
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Florence also started dating Annie, who became her girlfriend as their relationship progressed.
"I liked both of these people, they also liked each other, and we are now in this triangle relationship," she said.
My husband & I have been together for 17 years - now we're polyamorous & it was my idea, we're manifesting another wife
Florence hasn't always been polyamorous, but after getting out of a "toxic" monogamous relationship, she wanted to explore her sexuality.
"I had been in a very restrictive relationship where I was having bad sex and wasn't happy," she explained.
"Now I'm in a new relationship where I was like, 'This is really great. I really love him, but there are some other parts of myself that I don't want to cut myself off from.'
"I didn't want to cut myself off from exploring things.
One thing we practice in non-monogamy is just being happy for our partners to have experiences with other people.
Florence Bark
"I always thought that I would just be 'monogamish' [and in an] open relationship — maybe sleep with someone when my partner was on tour and I was on holiday."
However, Florence admitted that at the beginning of the relationship, she was jealous of Callum and Annie being together without her.
"They had been seeing each other for a little bit longer," she said.
"When they hung out, I wasn't let into what they were doing, which came as a surprise for me. I was feeling jealous that they were having this time together.
"It wasn't this strong, overpowering feeling like, "What are they doing without me?" It was a small niggling feeling inside, that felt uncomfortable."
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Florence shared how she was feeling with Annie and Callum and they had a frank discussion about their three-way relationship.
"Since that first initial conversation, I haven't felt any of that jealousy," she said.
Florence noted that communication is also key when it comes to sex, although Callum doesn't feel he needs to know when his girlfriends are being intimate without him.
"My male partner is more on the part where he doesn't need to know when Annie and I are hanging out," she said.
What is polyamory?
Polyamory is having more than one romantic relationship simultaneously.
A throuple or triad is a three-way relationship, in which each of the three people is in a romantic relationship with the other two people.
An open relationship is when one or both parties in a romantic couple dates other people. The couple can be married or unmarried.
Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) or consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is a relationship in which the people involved date and sleep with other people but are in agreement about the dynamic. These relationships typically value open communication. Many people who practice polyamory consider themselves to be ethically non-monogamous.
Swingers are couples that trade sexual partners or have group sex with other people or couples.
"Me and Annie on the other hand, at the beginning, we decided that we would tell each other before we hang out.
"Our thing is we will always tell each other when we are hanging out with our other partner, [but] we won't necessarily go into details about what we did together.
"One thing we practice in non-monogamy is just being happy for our partners to have experiences with other people," she explained.
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"We have one-on-one time with each other equally, and then we hang out all together, which is so nice and so wholesome.
"The last two times we all hung out we had sex together as a throuple.
"It was really good — the most successful threesome I have ever had."
Florence also shared how being in a throuple has made her feel a confidence that she never felt before.
"I feel so secure for the first time," she said. "I don't have any anxious feelings about whether I am good enough or if this is the relationship for me.
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"I don't have that anymore. I feel settled and secure. They show up in a way I hadn't experienced anymore.
"They communicate, they look after everyone's needs."
Despite the trio being in a loving and fulfilling relationship, they don't tie themselves down to each other and will often go on dates with other people.
"All of us use Field as our main dating app, which is full of non-monogamous people," Florence said.
"Personally, I have that I am in a throuple on my profile, and I think we are all pretty communicative about it upfront.
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"Most of the people we are going on dates with aren't looking for a relationship but are looking for a fun, casual hook-up.
"People that are non-monogamous don't tend to date people that aren't as we don't want to go about leading people on.
She noted that she wouldn't go on a date with someone who was monogamous unless she "thought it would go somewhere" and was ready to commit to one person again.
Florence has been candid with her parents about her sexuality and being in a throuple, but she was met with mixed responses.
She said her dad was "super cool" with it, while it took a bit of time for her mom to come around to the idea.
"The weirdest thing is that when I told my dad about it he was like, 'Oh, ok cool,'" she recalled.
"I told my mum maybe two years ago that I was going to start dating women and she didn't have the best reaction. Like, 'This is not who I thought you were.'
"Obviously, it is a weird thing being a parent and your child suddenly saying, 'Oh, I actually like women too.'
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"I am very open with my parents. I just went on a road trip with my dad for a month," she explained. "I was obviously gonna tell him about [Callum and Annie].
"He is really excited for me," she added.
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