MONEY TALKS
Mum’s a millionaire but I’m on the breadline – I eBay stuff to afford lunch with her, but she always treats her partner
Someone wondered if the woman's family dynamics were to blame
A WOMAN has caused a stir online after revealing her financial situation compared to her mother’s.
, the poster titled her post with: “Rich parent doesn’t help very poor (adult) child.”
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And wanted to see the advice of other users on how to handle her unique situation.
She explained how her “mum is worth a few million quid”, but she, her husband, and their family “are on the breadline” and have been in poverty for “at least 15 years”.
“We have no extra money for treats or holidays or anything nice,” she said.
“At Christmas, I sell things on eBay to make some money, so that I can buy family members Christmas presents.
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“We never put the heating on because we just can’t afford it.”
Her mum, however, “has several luxury holidays a year, always flying business class”.
She “lives in a huge mansion”, and her daughter revealed it is one of seven other properties she owns, some of which she inherited “from her rich parents”.
The woman wanted to know: “I know that I don’t need to ask this really, because I know that it’s weird that she doesn’t offer any help to me, but what does everybody make of this?”
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The woman, who is 56 years old, revealed her mother is almost 80 but has brilliant health and is very fit.
“All of the women in the family live until about 100 years old, so whilst I will inherit, I will most likely be in my 70s at that time, which is not really when I’m going to need the money,” the post continued.
Asking other Mumsnet users, she said: “If it was you, in her position, do you think you would do something now to help me? I am on the bones of my arse.”
She added how when she meets up with her mum for lunch “now and then”, her mother “never treats” her, and she “always has to pay my half”.
I’m not on benefits but take free food from donations people have made - people moan I’m nicking from the poor, I don’t care
But her mum is happy to treat her boyfriend “a lot”.
As for the response she got, it really was a mixed bag.
One person commented: “I find this very odd. In her position I would, at the very least, give you a property.”
Someone else said: “I wouldn’t be able to enjoy a life of luxury while my child was struggling like this.
“I would help him out financially unless there was a reason I thought he couldn’t be trusted with the money such as drug/gambling addiction or massively overspending. And even in that case I would probably try to help him out in other ways rather than just giving him large sums of money.
We have never fallen out. I've not had one penny from her since I started working at 16.
Original Poster
“I know technically your mum isn’t obligated to support you, but I do think it’s odd that she isn’t unless there’s a reason why that you’re not saying.”
The original poster added some extra details for those leaving comments and questions: “I have always worked in minimum wage jobs. I love what I do, but yes, it's low-paid.”
She said she didn’t meet her husband until she was 40, so only had one wage until then, and her income is “swallowed up by the mortgage”.
Her husband also has four children from a previous marriage and has been paying “quite a lot in child support”.
She added: “We manage okay, in that no one is skipping meals or anything, and the bills are paid, but there is zero left over for treats. We have no savings.
Mum's partner is also very wealthy.
Original Poster
Many commenters wondered if there was a backstory, or missing details from her relationship with her mother that might mean she isn’t supported financially by her.
The poster continued: “There is no back story. We have never fallen out.
“I don't do drugs and only have a drink occasionally. I've not had one penny from her since I started working at 16.
“I've never asked for any money, and none has ever been offered. It's quite obvious that we don't have money.
“Our house is tiny, in a rough part of town. We have no meals out, no take aways, no holidays.
“Mum lives in enormous beautiful home in an expensive area. They have multiple holidays each year and the best of everything.”
One Mumsnet user commented: “Yeah, I think it’s really unkind and actually quite odd of her to be so definite in her stance never to give you a penny especially that she hasn’t supported you since 16 and doesn’t pay for meals.”
Another offered alternative advice: “Just ask for some money. You have nothing to lose. When she asks to meet for lunch, say you can’t afford.”
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Someone else wondered: “Do you think your mum has an issue with you marrying a man with four children? Perhaps she doesn't want to subside them or your husband?”
But the original poster clarified: "She has no relationship with DH's other kids. They live in a different City, where their mum moved to many years ago."
Free cash schemes if you're struggling
Many of us are still struggling with the high cost of living - but there's help you can get.
New or expectant parents can get up to £442 a year to spend on food through Healthy Start scheme.
Some new parents can get £500 via the Sure Start Maternity Grant. The money is designed to help you cover the costs of having a child.
Councils also offer support through the welfare assistance schemes, to help cover the costs of essentials, from buying new furniture to food vouchers.
The amount you can get varies but an investigation by The Sun found that hard-up Brits can apply for help worth up to £1,000.
Discretionary Housing Payment is a pot of money handed out by councils to those struggling to keep a roof over their heads.
A scheme is available for those who find themselves unable to cover housing costs, though the exact amount varies as each local authority dishes out the cash on a case-by-case basis.
Many energy forms offer grants to help cash-tight customers. The exact amount varies depending on your supplier and you circumstances, but could be as much a £2,000.
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