I’ve got nearly 200 kids – I only meet the mums twice because my ‘baby batter’ is so effective & have a no-kissing rule
A MAN who has fathered 180 children across the UK has been dubbed Britain’s most prolific dad - and he hasn’t met most of them.
This is because Joe Donor – who has chosen not to reveal his surname – has been donating his sperm for 13 years across the country.
The 52-year-old uses methods including natural insemination (sex), partial insemination (getting himself close to ejaculation via masturbation, before ejaculating in the recipient) and artificial insemination.
But while the journey has been fulfilling for Joe, he says it often leaves him out of pocket and subject to cruel comments.
HURT BY MY CRITICS
“I'm sure many who read about me will think my life is a big self-licking ice cream,” Joe, who lives near Newcastle, said.
“I especially feel hurt when my critics say I only donate as a way to have sex.
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“You would think that, as a natural donor, I would be in the saddle a lot.
“But I have always said if you want a lot of sexy time, you should get a girlfriend or get married, because I only meet women once or twice a month typically.
“Because my baby batter is extremely effective, if I am lucky, I will only meet the lovely lady once or twice and then she falls pregnant and I may not see her again for a year or two, when she wants a second child.
“However, because I spend a lot of time helping women to calculate the best time to meet, and sometimes ovulation times can change, I have to always be ready to help, and this puts a crimp on my availability for romance with women outside of sperm donations.”
Joe, who has met around 60 of the children he has fathered, describes his critics accusing him of using his donation efforts as a way to have more sex as “keyboard warriors”.
Every year, around 2,000 children are conceived with the help of a donor.
Donated sperm cannot be used to create more than 10 families, with no limits on the number of children born within each family.
“No one ever accuses them of donating blood for orange juice, T-shirts, and public adulation.
“Why do they pick on me, then?
“I guess whilst no one wants to fight a blood donor for his spot to bleed into a bag, I suspect that those readers who are most critical of me are the ones who secretly most want to swap places with me!
“So that's why no one heckles blood donors – but so many make comments about me.
“I think when my critics see this, they will accept I am just a salt of the earth.
“But my life as an internet sperm donor isn't all fun and games.”
AN EXPENSIVE HABIT
Joe says his work has had an effect on his finances, too.
He says: “Since I have devoted my life to my peculiar form of charity, to get by, I have to live off yellow sticker sales.
“But, despite just squeaking by financially, because I am living a life I love, I feel like the Admiral of the Humber!
“There are many ways to be rich without money – I am much richer in experiences, travelling all over the world.
“And I feel richer by playing an important role in the lives of women who I get pregnant and their families, than I would feel working 9 to 5 in an office.”
Joe says he has had to make numerous “sacrifices” due to his passion of sperm donation – namely, his love life.
He said: “You always have to be ready should a lady suddenly ovulate – [there’s] no time for romance.
“Whilst the process of doing a sperm donation isn't quite as bad as getting stuck with a needle, still I have always said, if you want a lot of sex, you should get a girlfriend.
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“I wish that readers would not accuse me of donating solely to get a leg over, because it is certainly not the case, in fact, it can be quite lonely.
“I have given up my own love life to help others in this selfless way, and even on those rare occasions where there is brief intercourse, I don't even get a kiss or a cuddle.”