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CAN'T TOUCH THIS
I stopped dating & went celibate for a year – not having sex is hard but I got tired of men obsessed with my curvy body
She's looking to diversify her love life
A SERIAL dater has decided to push the brakes on her sex life and go inward, choosing celibacy over flings that were going nowhere.
She said her decision came after feeling like she was giving her body and mind away.
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Influencer Soraya Orelien, 31, is a plus-size fashionista, traveler, and skincare fan who decided to abstain from sexual intercourse as well as masturbation.
"I was tired of the repetitive journey in my daily life," she said.
"I just kept dating the same types of men, hoping it would be something different, but it wasn't different.
"It was a different body but with the same characteristics."
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Orelien's former sex life didn't fill the void that she was feeling inside, causing her to hit a breaking point.
"I was at a point in my life where I was just tired of giving my body away, sleeping around with different men, and feeling unfulfilled."
A major aspect of her celibacy is focusing on self-care rather than putting her energy into a temporary fling. She also makes time for solo dates.
"One is being kind to yourself," she said.
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"One of the biggest things that I really began to practice and getting to adopt very early on is giving to myself and being nice to myself.
"I began to treat myself the way that I wanted to be treated — respectful, kind, gracious, giving."
THE BREAKING POINT
Orelien's former suitors weren't giving her the love she felt she deserved, leading her to expand her dating pool.
"Every time we'd talk, whether it's a text or a FaceTime, they're always alluding to my body because I am a curvy woman," she said.
"So they would either make comments about my body part versus me as a person. That right there just turns me off.
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"Also, asking for pictures. I cannot stand when a man asks me for a picture — and not a picture of your face.
"They want a picture of your body of whatever so that they can go ahead and do what they got to do on their private time.
"I don't like that. That just throws me off all the way. You're going to get blocked."
SWITCHING IT UP
She also came to terms with a common challenge when dating — stepping out of her comfort zone.
While many people may feel the pressure to stick with tradition when it comes to longterm relationships, Orelien said she's willing to diversify.
The last time I had sex was February 14th, 2023. From that day, I said, 'I'm done.'
Soraya Orelien
"I'm open to expanding my dating pool with different ethnicities. and races," she said.
"I've always been stuck on marrying a Black man, but maybe my husband is not a Black man. And if he is, great. If he's not, that's still great."
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FEEL THE BURN
Orelien said that her decision came after a spiritual calling to Christianity.
"The last time I had sex was February 14th, 2023. From that day, I said, 'I'm done.'
"I'm waiting for my marriage and I'm giving my body back to Christ."
It is not easy. I will not sit here and tell you this year has just been easy peasy. No, it's been hard.
Soraya Orelien
She said that the journey hasn't been easy, but leaning on her spirituality has helped her get through hot and heavy moments.
"It is not easy. I will not sit here and tell you this year has just been easy peasy. No, it's been hard," she said.
She admitted that have been times she's has felt a "rush" of her libido ramping up and thinks, "Oh, where did that come from?"
"I could literally be just cooking a meal or sitting on the couch just scrolling, doing research for my business and woo, you know, this thang is thanging," she added, referring to feelings of arousal.
Orelien's moments of lustful thoughts don't deter her from steering clear of sex and masturbation, choosing to stay faithful to her mission instead of dragging herself.
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"I give myself grace because I am a human and my body is going to do what it does," she said.
"Where I have to take accountability is, what do I do at that time when that feeling comes? I pray about it."
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