My friend wants a child-free wedding but I’m pregnant & due 2 weeks before – I’m a bridesmaid & too scared to tell her
AN expectant mom has been urged to drop out of being a bridesmaid at her friend’s wedding which is just weeks away.
She explained that her due date is just two and a half weeks before the bride is set to tie the knot.
She told users that she’s 10 weeks pregnant and hasn’t told her friend because she’s worried about ruining her wedding experience.
The ceremony is set to be a child-free event and her baby will be too young to be babysat by anyone else while she attends.
“The wedding is about 1.5 hours drive away,’ she wrote.
“Bride knows we’ve been TTC [trying to conceive] but I haven’t told her about the pregnancy yet.
“I will be telling her within the next couple of weeks.”
The expectant mom said she would have to stay in separate accommodation and meet the bridal party on the day of the wedding for hair and makeup.
She would also have to be pumping throughout the day every two to three hours, with her husband bringing milk to the baby.
“I’ll likely still be wearing maxi pads or possibly diapers for the bleeding, and I have no idea what dress size I’ll be postpartum,” she said.
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“No idea how I’ll go with standing up at the altar and standing around all day at that stage, especially if I end up having a c-section.
“I’ll probably have to pop out during the photo shoot between ceremony and reception to check on the baby.
“At the reception, I’m very unlikely to be the life of the party [crying].
“I’m really not sure how to approach this conversation with the bride.
“I was thinking to express my fears to her about what life might be like postpartum and offer to step down so she can have the best wedding experience possible.”
She revealed her friend had previously expressed concerns on multiple occasions that people wouldn’t attend because they would either be busy with babies or pregnant.
“Each time she said that I just reassured her that just because someone’s pregnant or has a baby doesn’t mean they won’t be happy and excited to celebrate her,” she said.
“I kept it very general and didn’t refer to myself specifically.
“But I never thought I’d end up having a two-week-old baby by her wedding date, and that’s why I’m so worried about telling her.”
A flood of responses to the post advised the woman to withdraw from being her friend’s bridesmaid.
“First off, congratulations!!!” one person wrote.
“Secondly, I don't know any woman who was able to go to a social function 2.5 weeks postpartum.
“Most people are still recovering for many weeks! Plus sleep deprivation is very real.
“I think it might be better to bow out gracefully from the bridal party and maybe even the wedding if you deliver so close.
“If your friend is a good friend, she will understand. She may still be sad because her feelings are valid, but she should be understanding.
“It's not like you chose to have your due date so close and she knew you were actively TTC [trying to conceive].
“It would be crazy to expect you to stop trying for a wedding and hopefully she understands that.”
“Realistically you probably won’t be able to attend at all and you should let her know sooner rather than later,” another said.
“However given the circumstances, I’d suggest being involved in her wedding planning to show your support.
“You can go dress shopping together, choosing a photographer or whatever she needs while you are still not heavily pregnant.”
“As a pregnant lady, I would judge this solely on my recovery,” a third added.
“She has to understand that everyone is different and recovery is different.
“You may be fine in 2.5 weeks but who knows? You won't know until it happens.
“If she doesn't understand that then she needs to reevaluate herself.
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"I would never be mad at someone missing my wedding because they had a baby lol.
“Don't kick yourself over it. Think about YOURSELF in this situation.”
