I’m a proud cougar – my husband’s 17 years younger, people laugh at us in the street and tell me he’s after my money
A SELF-PROCLAIMED cougar admitted she gets mistaken for her partner’s mom.
Their 17-year age gap didn’t stop them from creating a blended family.
Tamela Stephey, 59, has been married to Zach, 42, since 2016.
As a landscaper, Zach first met Tamela when he came to do work on her pool – and they soon realized they had a lot in common.
They love mountain climbing and traveling, and the two say they rarely argue.
Still, strangers often assume Zach only linked up with Tamela because he’s after her money – and they get laughed at on the street.
Tamela said: “It’s very hard being in an age gap relationship – you get lots of whispers, stares, and some people even take pictures in the street.
“But we’re great for each other – we don’t fight or argue, nothing ever comes up that the two of us can’t work out.”
Tamela, who was previously married for 30 years and already had four kids, met Zach in 2012, when he came to "hardscape" a swimming pool in her back garden.
The two got to talking, and Tamela said she quickly became attracted to his “Thor-like looks.”
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Even after Zach finished working on the pool, they continued texting and eventually started dating.
She said: “I thought Zach was very nice – and he looked like Thor.
"My daughter would be like, ‘Mom, we have Thor working for us’ – and that’s what first attracted me to him.”
Tamela believed she could be a force for good in his life.
“He seemed a bit unsure of himself and where he was going with his life. By contrast, I was very positive, outgoing – and I wanted to help him see things in a more positive light.”
The two began dating and, after a few months, he moved into her home.
But her four children – three sons aged 39, 37, and 32, plus a daughter aged 29 – weren’t so sure about the whole thing and believed he might be gold-digging.
That quickly changed when they realized he was using half his paycheck every month for rent and never asked Tamela for a penny.
The grown children soon came to love Zach and his 16-year-old daughters, Lauren and Lincoln, who in turn loved Tamela too.
The couple did, however, have their fair-share of haters, as they received nasty comments from outsiders early on in their relationship.
They spent much time shutting down rumors that Tamela was a “sugar mommy.”
She revealed some of the comments she’s heard: “People say, ‘He’s after you for your money,’ and, ‘How much is he charging you to sleep with him?’”
During the first two years of their relationship, she even heard comments from those closest to her.
“Because I have my own business, even a lot of friends and family thought I was helping him out financially.
“They’d be like, ‘Really? You’ve got money, he must be after you for your money. I bet you guys live in a castle.’”
As the years passed, however, those jabs from friends and family came to an end as they all grew to “love” Zach.
On August 17, 2014, Tamela finally accepted Zach’s proposal to marry him, after turning him down four times before.
The pair got married in St Lucia in June of 2016 and has been going strong since.
“He does everything for the kids. I’ve never heard him yell, either, or even slightly raise his voice.
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard him say a single mean or hateful thing. It took me a while to let my guard down, but we’re really in love.”
Even though their internal bond is tight, they still struggle with public outings because of the hate or awkward moments they encounter.
“When we’re out, waitresses will try to pass him their numbers and stuff, and he has to make it very clear I’m his wife.
“We travel a lot, but even when we’re out the country, people are still very mean.
“People stare, sometimes people take pictures. It’s why I was so tentative at the beginning of our relationship – I didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.”
She said the double standard is “odd” and unfair.
“We’d see a young girl with an older man who can barely get around, but no one says anything to them.
“There’s definitely some misogyny involved there.”
Despite comments from trolls, Tamela and Zach are going to continue to live their lives out in the open.
She said: “We do fight back on the comments sometimes. I even had the courage to go up to a couple in a restaurant and ask what their problem is.
“We work very hard for our kids – and we want to try to not care what people think.”
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On the relationship, Zach said: "I don't really care for women my own age – older women, especially Tamela, are selfless, caring and very compassionate.
"I don't care about people's comments about us or how they feel. I'm living my best life – and that's with Tamela."
