NO stranger to the art of courtship, a dating expert has revealed some do's and don'ts — including why you might still be single.
With finding love more complicated than before, Connell Barrett, 52, has shared helpful tricks of the trade that may land you your dream partner sooner rather than later.
Barrett has been an active participant in the dating scene for decades and is the founder of , a professional coaching service and podcast on the subject for the last 10 years.
He has worked with men as young as 18 to as old as 73 with differing levels of experience, from virgins to divorcees.
With the growth of online dating tools such as Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble, there's been a major shift in how people build relationships, and Connel is there to guide them.
"This box is not a natural thing to do, swiping on the attractive duck-type faces you see," he told The U.S Sun.
He explained that what he thinks is much more natural, genuine, authentic, and "human" is to be out in the world interacting with people.
For him, that could mean saying hello to an attractive stranger, being in a kickball league, or taking a cooking class.
Just like Will Smith's title character in the popular 2005 film Hitch, he takes a hands-on and personal approach when coaching.
In particular, there is one client he worked with in 2014 who sticks with him to this day: Ken.
Ken was in his late 20s, and not only had he never had a girlfriend, but he had never even kissed a woman.
"He came to me because he felt physically unattractive," Barrett said before he compared his physical appearance to "when Jonah Hill was a little chubbier."
Over the course of a weekend in New York City, and under Barrett's direction, Ken began approaching women while out.
They're having a fun bar makeout. Nobody knew except me, but I'm watching his very first-ever kiss
Connell Barrett
"He started to let go, started to loosen up, started showing women sort of that authentic, attractive self, and he started getting a couple of phone numbers and a couple of dates," he said.
One night at a rooftop bar, Ken approached a woman while Barrett was writing notes and feedback for later on his phone.
"I look over and I realize I'm watching him have the very first kiss of his life. They're having a fun bar makeout. Nobody knew except me, but I'm watching his very first-ever kiss," he explained.
"That moment really made me fall in love with being a dating coach."
About three to four months later, Ken was in his first relationship thanks to Barrett's guidance.
Even though he encourages people to meet in real life, he used a dating app to find his current partner, with whom he's "happily coupled up" but not married.
He may be a certified expert on the matter, but relationships don't come easy for Barrett, due to his profession.
Occasionally, women wonder if he's genuine or using his tactics on them.
"I'm pro dating. I'm not anti-dating apps, but I'm really pro, 'Let's meet each other in real life' because we've been doing it for 100,000 years," Barrett said.
He loves helping men and women have those "rom-com moments."
"They're just both shopping in the cereal section and all of a sudden you lock eyes and you're talking about cereal. Next thing you know you're exchanging phone numbers," he added.
"Very few women are going to say, 'Hey, guess what? I got my 800th match today on Tinder.' But I would think a lot of women might say, 'Hey, guess what? I met this really cool, charming man.'"
But if you're wondering why you're not getting as many likes, it could be due to your photos.
In order to appeal to the everyday male, there are simple tweaks you can make that may raise your "likeability" on your profile.
If you're one of four women in the photo, and potentially you're next to an attractive female friend, he might notice her more than you.
Connell Barrett
"If most of her photos are her looking sort of Instagram attractive, or more revealing photos, he might be attracted to her, but he might get intimidated," Barrett divulged.
Having a few "girl next door" photos where you're getting coffee or laughing with friends may make you more digitally approachable to men who feel like certain women might be out of their league.
Men are visual creatures, so it's important to be careful when picking a group photo because you don't want to be overshadowed and instead be the featured "heroine."
"If you're one of four women in the photo, and potentially you're next to an attractive female friend, he might notice her more than you," the expert explained.
Secondly, he advised wearing red because it "jumps off" the phone screen, as well as in person.
The third thing a woman can do is write a great opening prompt that includes a question.
"What's your favorite Will Ferrell movie, or what's your favorite sport to watch or play?" he suggested.
"It'll make it so much easier for a man to match with you because guys really struggle with that first thing to write," the dating enthusiast admitted.
When dealing with his male clients, Barrett has a three-step teaching strategy for optimal success.
First, he encourages them to be authentic, real, and genuine, as opposed to putting on some mask.
Next, he shows them how to flirt and how to make emotional connections, as opposed to trying to spark attraction, like some kind of pickup artist.
Finally, Barrett teaches them about when you have to be courageous.
"You have to say the flirtatious thing or perhaps approach the intimidating woman. There are moments when you have to use courage," he said.
Although he primarily works with men, he's gained incredible insight into male and female attraction through his work.
There are huge differences in how you interact with someone in person compared to messaging them online.
"The way you text a woman who you've just matched with on a dating app is going to be very G-rated and light and not sexual for quite a while," he explained.
By the second or third date, he suggested that men can be a bit more flirtatious.
Similarly, the way they speak with a woman on a first date is going to be different than how they would with a woman they're dating exclusively.
"You want to adjust. Read the room and have a lot of social acuity and empathy in your dating life to sort of understand how she is feeling right now," he said.
If you're a woman who has ever wondered why you don't get approached often by potential suitors, there may be a reason why.
"A lot of men are afraid of rejection. They're afraid they're going to come across as creepy and weird if they approach a woman and she doesn't like it," Barrett claimed.
When it comes to approachability, he alluded that there isn't strength in numbers in this case because "men are petrified of approaching a group of women."
"If you're out with some friends at a singles bar, you should separate from your friends for at least a few minutes," he said.
"They've got a little bit more courage and chutzpah when it's a woman standing by herself."
But if you're a woman who likes to take charge, Barrett shared a foolproof method to at least start a conversation.
He said that if you give a guy a simple compliment about his style, ask him what he's drinking, ask him about the music that's playing, or something similar, then that's the opening so many men need.
"A simple compliment opens the door to a conversation and a lot of men will then walk through that door and lead her on a nice, flirtatious dance, which is a great win-win interaction," he added.
This interaction has mutual benefits for brazen women in the long run as a "healthy, positive test."
"You want to make sure you're with a man who's got a lot of confidence and self-esteem but also is kind, generous, and can handle it themselves," Barrett explained.
At the end of the day, there is one notion that Barrett reminds all his male clients about women.
"They want to have fun, they want to laugh. They want a guy with backbone, confidence, and self-worth, and belief. Because kindness alone is not enough," he said.
