I’m working my son’s first Christmas, it’s double pay and he won’t remember, but now my in-laws think I’m a bad mother
A MOM has been left upset after having a heated argument with her partner over plans to work throughout Christmas.
She was accused of being “selfish” for not wanting to spend their baby son’s first Christmas as a family.
The 29-year-old healthcare worker explained in a lengthy post on that she would get double pay and extra annual leave in 2024 if she worked on the 23rd, 24th, 25th, and 26th of December.
She said her 10-month-old son “isn’t old enough” to understand Christmas so she made plans for them to celebrate the holiday early.
Her partner, 33, was then supposed to drive three hours to his parent’s house to continue enjoying festivities while she worked.
She wrote: “All seemed good with this plan until this evening I overheard my partner's mother say on the phone ‘What mother wouldn't spend Christmas with her family what's wrong with her.’”
“I was rolling my eyes at this comment to myself as his mother comes from a generation where once you got married you left your job (mandatory by state law) and raised your family and knew she would not understand.
“But I heard him say ‘I know I'm very put out by it.’
"Obviously, it was like a slap in the face to me as I thought it was a mutual agreement.
“I asked him immediately did he mean what he said or if he was just subconsciously answering his mother.
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“He got quite annoyed and more or less said that I was selfish to rather spend time at work than with my family.”
The mom defended herself against his claims by explaining that she would rather take time off work next Christmas when their son has a better understanding of the holiday.
She continued: “Things are very tense, I'm very upset as now I really DO feel like I'm missing out on Xmas.
“Our little family Xmas dinner and early Santa present opening are ruined from the argument, tension, and things that were said (couldn't possibly list it all here).
“I’m really starting to doubt my judgment, AITA [am I the a**hole] and a bad mother for not thinking it's a big deal to have Xmas a few days early given the situation?”
A flood of responses to the post attempted to reassure the mom that she wasn’t in the wrong and shared their own experiences of having to work during Christmas.
One person wrote: “NTA [not the a**hole] and your mother-in-law can go back to the dark ages where she belongs.
“You are right, your child won't remember so that's not a factor.
“Celebrating a few days early with your partner is a great idea, so that's not really a thing either.
“Would your MIL [mother-in-law] be ok if your partner worked and you didn't, is this a 'woman should be in the kitchen' attitude?
“Your partner is an a**hole in this too, for having such an outdated idea and for not talking to you about it.
“And to be honest, you deserve a medal for firstly being a health care worker at all, and secondly for sacrificing your family time to take care of others in their time of need.”
Another said: “That’s pretty harsh that your partner would whine to his mom about the situation knowing that you have made the decision to work now to have more time with the family later.
“Let’s be realistic a baby is not aware of what day you celebrate.
“In a perfect world, we would all be home with our families for the holidays… but sometimes it’s not possible.”
A third added: “One should ask if OP’s [original poster’s] husband is upset she’s not going to be spending time with the family or (more likely) upset that he now has to be the main carer of the child over the break?
“Either way OP you are NTA [not the a**hole] for working to bring in good money over this period! Hubby and his mother are both AHs! [a**holes]”
Another penned: “My parents always had to work through holidays (we were not rich) and we just celebrated on other days. Truly not a big deal.
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“The whole point is celebrating together when you can afford to and when you can all relax together.
“Your plan to work this year so you can take Christmas off in other years makes a ton of sense.”
