I’m a family relationship counsellor – here’s the top seven Christmas day arguments and how to avoid them

WHILE Christmas is often dubbed the most magical time of year, it can also be the most stressful.

With pressures to host the perfect celebration, cook the perfect Christmas dinner, and socialise with family members, it's not uncommon that tension may rise, resulting in petty arguments. 

According to Life insurance broker, Reassured, board games and deciding what to watch on TV are among the most common Christmas Day arguments are.

So, to ease the tension, family relationship counsellor  has shared her top tips to help cope with some of the most common Christmas day family arguments. 

Board Games 

Before the game starts, Janie recommends double-checking that each person understands the rules of the game.

"Some board games, such as Monopoly, have two different rules – one for the longer game, and one for the shorter game," she explains.

"If rules are not clear, disagreements occur."

She also goes on to urge people to "discourage negative talk" which can escalate into arguments and to "have short breaks" to cool down and loosen tension.

"Consider the age and level of skill of each family member and pick games appropriate for the age group to minimise frustration," she advises.

"If you know that certain games lead to aggravation, it might be best to avoid them altogether. 

"Remind everyone that the goal of the game is to have fun and spend quality time together."

Deciding what to watch on TV 

According to the family relationship counsellor, arguments arise in families when each person wants to see a show that some other members may not be interested in.

To avoid this escalating, Janice recommends having each family member suggest a few options, and then take a vote.

"This way, everyone gets a say in what to watch," she explains.

"Keep in mind the ages and preferences of the family members.

"Choose something that is appropriate and enjoyable for everyone - it may mean that the kids and adults watch a show in separate rooms.

Janice goes on to say that if your family has different tastes, make a list of movies or shows beforehand and let family members choose from that list.

"This can help the decision-making process," she continues.

"Scroll the Christmas list of your streaming services, they often have a wide variety of options. 

"After watching a movie or show, take some time to discuss what everyone liked or didn't like about it.

"This can be a great way to bond and learn more about each other."

What time to get up in the morning 

When it comes to deciding what time to get up in the morning, Janice recommends considering family traditions or routines that you follow on Christmas morning.

"If you typically open gifts early or have a special breakfast, plan your wake-up time accordingly," she says.

"If you're celebrating with family or friends, communicate with them about the preferred wake-up time. "

What time to open presents 

Janice recommends creating a special tradition for opening presents.

"In some communities, presents are opened the night before Christmas Day or consider a specific time to unwrap gifts, such as early morning or after breakfast,"she says.

"If you're expecting a visit from the grandparents, hold on to one gift so that your child can unwrap in the presence of their grandparents."

Tense topics

The family relationship counsellor often recommends that individuals create a script when they anticipate a hot topic that regularly arises at family gatherings.

"Take the time to write it down and commit it to memory," she says.

"While you may not recall it verbatim, having a reference can be invaluable when dealing with a challenging family member.

"It may be a response to that relative or it may be choosing to have time out and go for a walk."

She adds: "Remember – Be your own best friend. Be kind to yourself as a friend would be to you, and as you would to your friend.

"Draw up boundaries around yourself at this ‘silly season’ to protect, nurture and care for yourself."

Kids eating too much chocolate before dinner 

Janice notes that it can be tough when kids dive into chocolate before dinner.

However, she points out that one strategy is not to keep chocolate within easy reach for your child - or not to have chocolate in your house at all.

"Set clear boundaries or create a routine where they have a small, healthy snack before dinner to curb their hunger," she advises.

A family member drinking a bit too much 

The family relationship counsellor says that approaching a family member about their drinking can be a sensitive topic.

"You may worry that they will get angry so it’s tempting to ignore their drinking," she continues.

"Express your concern away from others in a calm, non-confrontational way.

"Avoid judgement or accusations, as they may become defensive.

"If possible, suggest a soft drink for their next drink, maybe a sparkling grape juice."