I remarried my husband 16 years after divorcing – our girls think it’s weird, they’ve never seen us as a couple
CARA Metz, 49, a fitness trainer, lives in Surrey with husband Larry, 60, an accounts manager.
But it hasn't all been plain sailing for the couple. Here Cara reveals how the pair married, divorced, then, after realising they made a terrible mistake, decided to tie the knot again 16 years later.
“Sitting across the restaurant table, I realised I was madly in love with the man I was on a first date with, and it was clear from the way he was looking at me that he felt the same.
But what nobody else knew was that the handsome man was in fact my ex-husband.
It was April 2018, and Larry and I had divorced 16 years before.
But after realising we were still crazy about each other, we’d just got back together.
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Larry and I had first met at a gym in February 1996, when I was 20, and I was convinced he was The One.
He was 11 years older than me and had two sons aged six and 10 from a previous marriage, and while I knew I was young to become a stepmum, I was sure I would love his boys as much as he did.
Before then, I’d been touring the world as a professional Latin American dancer – with Shirley Ballas as my trainer.
But I’d realised I wasn’t thick-skinned enough for the dog-eat-dog dance world.
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When I met Larry, I was beaten down, but he made me feel special.
Soon, we were inseparable.
I got on with his children, and because Larry and his ex had split amicably, we became an extended family.
Within a few months I fell pregnant, giving birth to our daughter in December 1997.
In August the following year, we married in front of 100 of our friends and family.
In October 1999, I had our second daughter and found being a mum and a stepmum hard.
Larry was away a lot for his job, and the girls weren’t good sleepers.
Plus, while I loved having the boys one night a week and at weekends, Saturdays and Sundays were spent taking them to football and cricket.
Determined to have my own income, I started making dancing competition dresses at night, but it left me exhausted.
The strain started to show and Larry and I grew apart.
In August 2001, I decided enough was enough, I wanted to end our marriage.
Larry was keen to have counselling, but I wasn’t interested.
I moved out with the girls and we agreed to co-parent.
However, within months, I secretly began to regret my decision.
I wished I’d considered the implications of splitting up our family.
But I was in denial and never told Larry how I was feeling.
I was still friendly with his first wife and we all spent Christmases and birthdays together.
Larry and I both had relationships, and we were friendly with each other’s partners.
But I’d always feel a stab of jealousy seeing him and his girlfriend together.
In 2017, they split, and I began phoning Larry on my commute to Wales, where I was teaching dance classes, giving him advice.
I was single and talking to him just felt so natural.
Then, in early 2018, I was judging a competition near Larry’s house and asked him if I could stay over as it was a long drive.
It was clear we still had chemistry and that night we kissed.
It was as if the 16 years apart hadn’t happened.
We realised we were still in love and Larry said he’d never stopped thinking about me.
We acknowledged our previous mistakes, realising we’d tried to sweep our problems under the carpet.
After a couple of months, we told the girls, who, having never seen us as a couple, thought it was weird!
But they soon got used to it.
Larry’s sons were happy, too.
In September 2021, we had a wedding in a marquee in the back of our garden with 40 friends and relatives.
Now, I’ve learnt to accept support from Larry, and he’s encouraged me to start my own app, Cara Fitness, for women over 40.
I wouldn’t have been able to make it a success without him by my side.
I don’t regret the years we spent apart because it made me stronger, but I do regret our girls didn’t grow up with us together.
It’s made us appreciate each other and I’m so grateful I got a second chance with the love of my life.”
Follow Cara @Carametz_ for more info on her app.
BTW
One 2016 study found 54% of Brits got back with an ex within five years.*
12% of divorcees get back together again.*
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Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck married 18 years after splitting up.
- Sources: *Match.com **Co-op Legal Services