I’m a school secretary – it’s hell after half-term, I blame the parents, it’s their fault when I see zombie kids return
ANYONE would think that children have been back at school for 7 months rather than 7 weeks.
Teachers who started flagging around the four-and-a-half-week mark are now crawling, battered and bruised, towards the end.
And working as a secretary in a school I know exactly how I feel.
The autumn term is one of the longest and hardest for both teachers and children, so roll on the holidays.
But parents (and kids!) beware as teachers will have a strong opinion on what you and your little darlings get up to over half term.
Now Fabulous' Secret School Secretary - who writes a column for us - has spilt the beans on what kids are like are returning from half-term... and it's not all pretty.
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Screen queens
The worst thing for teachers is when children come back to school after being plonked in front of a tablet for the entirety of the holiday.
Standing in front of a class full of YouTube zombies who have an attention span of 3 minutes is as frustrating as it is disconcerting.
Plus, getting children to part with the mobile phones that may now actually be classed as part of their anatomy is a skill in itself.
The sooner the government implements a ban on phones in school the better.
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Half of the problem is that children need to be bored sometimes.
Imagination and creativity are being stifled because there’s always a TikTok or Snapchat video a fingertip away.
In the clubhouse
However, over-stimulation can be just as bad.
Teaching children who have had a week stuffed full of activities – either through holiday clubs or parents / grandparents who are able to throw bucket loads of money at them over the holidays – can be mayhem.
Because the children have had no downtime, they are either hyped up and not able to get back into the rhythm of school i.e., sitting down and being quiet, or quite simply, they’re knackered.
Holiday hijinx
Now, that’s not to say that teachers don’t want to hear about their students going away for the holidays – whether it’s visiting the beach in sun-drenched Salou or the arcades in wet and windy Widnes, it doesn’t matter, it’s the enjoyment of the experience that counts.
Nevertheless, what really grinds teachers’ gears, is taking their children away before or after a school holiday.
And it’s not just the fact of being away during term-time, the real kicker is when parents try to lie about it.
Saying to school, “Oh, they’ve got chickenpox” is never going to work when your little darling is apt to spill to their friends, or even their teacher, that they’re off for a two week jolly to Tenerife.
Add your kid’s Insta account into the mix and there’s even photographic proof!
There are even times when schools find out that parents have gone on holiday without their children.
Whether you applaud their audacity or condemn their action, it doesn’t change the fact that this can lead to resentment and challenging behaviour when the children are back in school.
Here comes trouble
Social media groups dedicated to local news, a.k.a. a legitimate way of slagging off the neighbours, are sometimes a useful tool in a teacher’s arsenal; knowing what is happening in the local community can be helpful in being able to relate to the students, and potentially diffuse tense situations.
But woe betide a teacher sees an unsavoury post concerning something their students have done…then it really is a case of, “I know what you did last half term!”
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Added features
A school holiday also wouldn’t be complete without a plethora of children returning with stupid haircuts that blatantly disregard school policy, fashion nails that could double as jousting swords, and interestingly, a rise in the number of facial piercings.
Parents, please start parenting and lay down some boundaries: if it wouldn’t be allowed at work, then it’s certainly not acceptable for school!