I haven’t slept properly for a year but then I swapped sleeping pills for sex – the impact has been groundbreaking
BRITAIN is becoming a nation of insomniacs, with 22 per cent of us struggling to nod off.
According to new NHS data, a record one million people in the UK are now prescribed sleep medication each year — and make-up artist Michelle Court, 39, is one of them.
The mum of two, who has been with her boyfriend, Stephen Hilburn, 37, for seven years, says: “I feel like I haven’t slept for the last year — at least.
“I spend hours tossing and turning while Stephen is there snoring away without a worry in the world.”
Michelle has tried everything, from over-the-counter remedies such as Nytol to prescription sleeping pills and even meditation, with little success.
But experts claim that we do not need to pop the pills to get a good night’s kip.
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One study found that 59 per cent of women enjoyed improved overall sleep quality after sex.
Sexpert Kate Taylor agrees that bonking is the key to deep, satisfying sleep.
“Sex is a fun, bonding alternative to sleeping pills,” she says.
“When we have sex, our bodies release hormones like prolactin and oxytocin which, like sleep medication, makes us drowsy.
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“For restful sex, keep the positions close and cuddly — think missionary, not wheelbarrow — as skin contact releases the most oxytocin.”
Desperate to get some much-needed shut-eye, Michelle and car mechanic Stephen decided to put Kate’s theory to the test.
She admits: “Since becoming a mum of two, our sex life has definitely slipped, so that could be contributing to the problem.”
The couple agreed to try to have sex every day for four weeks and keep a diary of their progress.
Throughout the four weeks, Michelle wore a Fitbit that measures the amount and quality of her sleep.
As well as giving wearers an overall sleep score out of 100, it monitors three components: Sleep duration, sleep quality — which includes deep and REM sleep — and restoration.
The more time a person spends in deep and REM sleep, the better the score will be.
And for healthy adults, 20-25 per cent of your overall sleep should be in REM stage.
Here, Michelle, from Rochford, Essex, shares her weekly sex diary and reveals whether nookie really is the secret to sleep satisfaction.
Week 1 - ‘Exhilarating, exciting
and certainly tiring’
Average hours sleep: 5.4
IT’S our first week and I’m knackered from no sleep.
My Fitbit says I’m usually getting around four hours a night with a mark of less than 60, which is “poor”.
I’m rarely hitting a full 20 per cent for REM sleep.
Before we start, I Google tips on how to get us in the mood.
One suggests setting calendar reminders on each other’s phones, and to send saucy messages or cheeky pictures to each other.
It feels cheesy at first, but by the end of the week it’s like we’ve got a new lease of life.
We have sex every day, and the first two nights I struggle to get to sleep despite having sex, but by the third my body feels relaxed and I definitely feel myself drift off with more ease.
I continue to wake up during the night, but — according to my watch — an average of two times, instead of once every hour, which was the norm.
I decide to switch it up by trying different positions around the house... Believe it or not, we pass out
Michelle Court
on the sofa.
On day five, I can’t even remember falling asleep.
According to my watch I reached a score of 81, which is “good”, with 22 per cent for sleep quality.
I can’t believe it.
That means I didn’t wake up once and got a solid six and half hours sleep. I’m on a high.
Week 2 - ‘Do we really have to keep this up?’
Average hours sleep: 6
I AM starting to feel like this is becoming a chore.
The thrill of daily sex is wearing off and I’m getting physically tired, and Stephen is too.
According to my watch, my sleep is “fair”, with an average mark of 62, and I’m getting between five to six hours sleep.
That’s more than I’ve had in a long time, so I feel the last week has had a major effect.
It’s done the job — probably because I’m utterly knackered.
But this week I’m busy getting the kids sorted and working and end up giving a couple of days a miss.
I simply can’t be bothered to have sex — it’s hard work!
22% of us admit that we struggle to get to sleeep at night.
Stephen is supportive, telling me to go with the flow and do whatever feels right for me.
But as the second week comes to a close, I feel myself getting stuck into my old ways with the tossing and turning.
On night five I wake five times and end up getting up for the day just before 5am.
The following night, I’m tempted to grab my Nytol, but remember I need to put sex to the test again.
Once the kids are in bed, I decide I’m going to be the one to bring some excitement back.
I decide to switch it up by trying different positions around the house.
Believe it or not, we pass out on the sofa.
The next day, my watch reveals a seven-hour sleep.
Quality is 24 per cent, with an overall mark of 86. I feel like a new woman.
Week 3 - ‘I could get used to this!’
Average hours sleep: 6.5
AFTER slacking last week, I decide to get my act together and throw the Nytol away for good.
I don’t want to rely on a sleeping tablet or remedy to help me get a good night’s kip — I need it to be more natural.
We finished on a high last week, proving I don’t need the Nytol and can get to sleep without laying there with my eyes wide open.
This week, we manage to mix sex and foreplay nearly every other day.
It’s difficult to do it every day due to our busy schedules and kids, but we feel really loved up and I’m much more relaxed, which ultimately means I drift off more easily.
Regular sex is bringing us much closer together.
Flashbacks of our saucy sessions. I feel like I did when we first got together.
Michelle Court
Stephen sometimes calls me while he’s at work saying he’s getting flashbacks of our saucy sex sessions.
I’m mainly getting around six hours’ sleep a night and it feels like a breakthrough.
I’m not so grouchy and stressed and I feel like I can focus properly for once.
I feel like I did when we first got together.
Week 4 - ‘I feel refreshed and energised’
Average hours sleep: 7
IT’S the final week of our experiment and not only has this helped me to get better sleep, but it’s definitely put the spark back into our relationship.
But after a month of so much sex, we admit our bodies need a break.
Instead of saving it until the evening, we do it a few times before heading to work in the morning when we’re feeling much more energised.
I realise I don’t just have to have sex at night to help me get to sleep — morning sex helps too.
And on other nights we have a lot more foreplay too.
Looking at my watch, it’s taking me about ten minutes to get to sleep.
1m people are prescribed sleeping tablets each year.
This is groundbreaking for me.
My REM is averaging 21 to 25 per cent and I’m getting around seven hours’ kip a night.
On day five, I nearly hit eight hours.
HER VERDICT: ‘I FEEL A HUGE WEIGHT HAS BEEN LIFTED’
FOR more than a year I’ve struggled badly with my sleep and was relying heavily on remedies such as Nytol.
Now I feel like a huge weight has been lifted.
I’ve ended this constant, sleep-deprived cycle which wasn’t helping me or my relationship.
This experiment has been a real eye-opener for me.
I now realise it is not only the amount of physical energy used during sex that makes you tired, but also how it eases the mind.
It brings you closer to the person you love, which ultimately puts your mind at ease and prevents it from wandering.
Trying to have sex every day was physically quite draining, and although we won’t be having sex every day in the future, we will aim for at least once a week.
Sex is like medicine, but better. Instead of leaving you drowsy, it makes you more energised.
In future, if I want a good night’s sleep, I’ll definitely be choosing nookie over Nytol.
HIS VERDICT: ‘I START EACH DAY WITH A SPRING IN STEP’
YES nookie is much better than Nytol — and for a number of reasons.
Not only has it helped with Michelle’s quality of sleep, but it has brought us much closer together.
Before the experiment, going to bed wasn’t always the best experience. Even though I could get to sleep more easily, I would feel guilty knowing Michelle had a rough night.
But after this month, waking up in the morning feels so much better.
We both start our day now with a spring in our step as we are both more energised and refreshed.
It was difficult to have sex every day, as it can be quite tiring on the body.
Life also gets in the way and some days we simply just didn’t have the time.
But that helped us to realise that we don’t need to have sex every day.
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However, we do know we need to keep it up to reap the benefits.
It keeps our relationship strong while making sure we both get a good night’s sleep. It’s win-win.