HORNY HISTORY
I’m a sexpert and I’ve studied sex in as far back as Cleopatra’s time – and there are ancient moves to boost your bonks
PEOPLE have been having sex since humanity began but what can we learn from examining what our ancestors got up to?
That’s what presenter Amanda Holden and historian Dan Jones explore in new series Sex: A Bonkers History, starting on Monday on the Sky History channel, with Amanda even donning period costumes as they delve into the passion and perversion of the past.
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Here sexpert Alix Fox teams up with Amanda to find out how you can take inspiration from the past.
The ANCIENTS
DON’T BE IN DE-NILE ABOUT ERECTION PROBLEMS: Ancient Egyptians believed that powdering their penises with ground-up crocodile hearts would help them in the bedroom.
These days you don’t have to resort to smothering dead croc on your crotch.
New topical gel Eroxon (eroxon.co.uk) creates cooling and warming sensations when applied to the penis, to stimulate nerve endings and facilitate an erection within ten minutes – even speedier than tablets like Viagra.
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SEE IF MOVES FROM THE KAMA SUTRA SUIT YA: The Kama Sutra, written at some point in the 2nd century AD by Indian philosopher Vatsyayana, has a reputation for being a raunchy reference guide full of complex gymnastic sexual positions.
“But it started out as a spiritual wellness book that you might find on the coffee table in anyone’s home,” reveals Amanda.
Why not try The Sporting of a Sparrow, where the man makes fast, shallow in-and-out strokes during intercourse.
The TUDORS
HAVE A ROYALLY GOOD TIME . . . BY PLAYING IT INNOCENT: Right until she died at age 69, Elizabeth I was reputed to have still been a Virgin Queen.
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Yet Amanda thinks this was a fib that had more to do with wanting to seem more powerful.
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She says: “I think she thought, ‘I’ll take what I need from these men, but I don’t need to commit to any’.”
Pretending to be more inexperienced than you actually are can be thrilling.
Try role-playing that one of you is a beginner in bed and wants to receive “sex lessons”.
This is a great way to explore dominance, control and submission. You might even learn new things about your lover’s turn-ons.
The GEORGIANS
DON’T BE “SHEEPISH” ABOUT DISCUSSING SAFER SEX: Condoms in the Georgian period were made from the intestines of sheep or goats.
They cost roughly what a working man would earn in a year so were a big investment, but you could reuse them provided you washed and stored them in water or milk to stop them drying out.
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Recent research from Durex found that one in five sexually active women would negatively judge a new partner if they didn’t offer or suggest using a rubber.
One in ten sexually active people also stated that they prefer using condoms since they make sex less messy.
That’s a lot of good reasons to wrap up – just not with lamb innards.
The VICTORIANS
LET YOUR PRIVATES HANG FREE: “We think of the Victorian era as a pretty staid, closed, strict time…but I enjoyed learning that Queen Victoria was a sex kitten,” says Amanda.
“She had lots of children for a reason – she liked sex!”
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Just before marrying her beloved Prince Albert, Victoria wrote in her diary about how “handsome” he looked “in his white cashmere breeches with nothing on underneath”.
Try going commando next time you’re out for dinner with your partner, then tease them by writing a note on a napkin and passing it over the table.
The 20th CENTURY
SHAKE UP YOUR RABBIT HABIT: The concept of an animal-shaped sex toy has its roots in Japan, where the famous rabbit vibrator was launched in 1983.
But it wasn’t until Ann Summers launched its Pink Pearl Rampant Rabbit one in 1991 that British women caught the buzz.
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If you’re hopping mad about rabbit-style toys but want to sample fresh forms of excitement in 2023, check these out.
You could give the Lelo Enigma Wave a whirl.
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Instead of ears, it provides clitoral stimulation via “sonic waves” for a suction effect, while the shaft undulates.
Or Lovehoney’s latest Glow vibrator has warming and cooling functions for temperature play.
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