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BARKING MAD

I yell for my kids in the local play park & people think I’m calling the dogs – even passport control are stunned

LAYING out a picnic on a crowded beach, glamorous mum of three Ames Johnson, 41, stood up and yelled for her three children.

“Tide, Dream, Charm, come here,” she said. “Lunch is ready.”

Ames with her three children, Dream, Charm and Tide
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Ames with her three children, Dream, Charm and TideCredit: Supplied
The mum admits people have thought she was calling her dogs not her children after yelling their names
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The mum admits people have thought she was calling her dogs not her children after yelling their namesCredit: Supplied

“Oh my gosh - I thought she was calling dogs not children,” says a sunbather lying on a nearby towel just loudly enough for Ames to hear.

“I thought they were stripper names,” replied her friend, giggling rudely.

However, the mum-of-three, from Thurrock, Essex, doesn’t care.

“I am so used to being trolled by OAPs and rude people for giving my kids rude names,” the single mum who works as a carer said.

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“Even I know they’re crackers. But who cares? They suit my kids. 

“They're fun and totally memorable.

“I don't care what vile trolls say. I know they’re jealous of my beautiful family and their unusual names.

“My kids are much wanted and I wanted names that would celebrate just how unique they are.”

Ames says their unique names suit their personalities
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Ames says their unique names suit their personalitiesCredit: Supplied
The mum couldn't care less what others think of her kids' names
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The mum couldn't care less what others think of her kids' namesCredit: Supplied

Ames thought at one point she wouldn’t fall pregnant.

“I was diagnosed with endometriosis and polycystic ovarian syndrome in my 20s,” she said.  “I was devastated.

“I come from a family of six children. When I was 29 years old my then long-term partner and I tried IVF in the hope our dream family would happen."

Ames had only four eggs harvested from her IVF cycle and two embryos were deemed healthy enough for implantation.

When her pregnancy test turned out to be positive in November 2010 she was thrilled.

“Our first child was born in July, 2011 at just 36 weeks,” she said. “He is a true miracle.”

But his birth was far from straightforward.

“I didn't even know I was in labour,” she said. “I thought I had a water infection.

“My son weighed just 5lb 10z. I barely felt any pain.

“This was my miracle baby. I wanted him to have a special name - Tide.”

Ames admits to spending hundreds of hours trying to decide on a list of baby names during her pregnancy.

“My favourite place in the world is a beach in the USA I visit on holiday and that inspired me to choose Tide for my son."

Tide’s middle name is Anthony  and he is named after his grandfather.

“People constantly ask me if it is spelt Tied, as in tying your shoelaces. That’s truly crazy!”

A year later Ames discovered she was pregnant naturally.

“Doctors were shocked and when I discovered I was having twin girls I knew I needed two equally brilliant names,” she said. 

Ames has a sistercalled Wish and she used that name as inspiration for her two daughters.

The twins were delivered planned c-section in November 2013

Baby Dream arrived first weighing 5lb 13oz.

Charm was second weighing 5lb 14oz. 

"A number of elderly family acquaintances have told me to give the kids ‘real names'.”

Ames Johnson

While Ames wanted memorable first names, she was also determined that their moniker would stand out against their surname of Johnson.

“Johnson is a very normal last name,” she said. “Tide, Dream and Charm all stand out.”

However not everyone was thrilled by her name choice.

“OAPs are always shocked,” she said. “They think I am joking. I also get told off by them.

"A number of elderly family acquaintances have told me to give the kids ‘real names'.

“Other OAPs refuse to use the kids’ real names.

“One OAP told me I was scaring them because in later life what if they are a lawyer or doctor, claiming no one would take them seriously.

“They don’t care when I explain they have middle names celebrating elderly relatives. People are so judgemental.

“When I am at the park people think I am calling my dogs when I yell for the kids.

“I even get trolled for calling my children what some people claim are ‘stripper names’.

“I don't care. These vile keyboard warriors or nosey parkers are simply jealous they didn't give their kids amazing names.

“I have not come across another child with the name Tide or Charm. 

“I was horrified in November 2016 when Rob Kardashian named his daughter Dream. 

“I was there first with the name.”

When Ames travels with the children to the USA, she says American passport control doesn't think the kids’ names are abnormal.

“But when I come back to England, passport control are stunned,” she said. “You can tell they think I’m a right hippy. 

“That makes me laugh. I am a former police officer. Just because I did not choose a boring name doesn’t make me odd.

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“When I registered the children at nursery and school they called to check the names ‘weren’t nicknames’ and I had to take in their birth certificates and passports.

“Tide, Dream and Charm are perfect for my threesome.”

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