I’m a school secretary – 5 parents teachers hate from ‘Mrs Social’ to ‘Corporate Dad… you’re definitely 1 of them
THE school playground is always an interesting place to observe the varying parenting styles, both good and bad.
As a school secretary I enjoy doing this particularly during the summer when everyone is feeling a little more free, and counting the days down until the end of term.
I’m sure plenty of parents would like to believe that they don’t fall into one of these categories but I wouldn’t be so sure.
Here I reveal the five nightmare parents I come across - and you’ll definitely fall into one of them…
THE SOCIAL BUTTERFLY
Are you the parent who knows everyone and everything that is going on in the community?
Someone who lingers, chatting with other parents of the same ilk, long after the bell has gone for the start of school, and arriving far, far earlier than any sane person at the end of day – just so they can have a natter before their loud offspring begin clamouring for their attention.
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This parent is never short of an opinion – even when it’s not asked for – and have sure-fire ways of sorting any problem.
Even better if said problem is to do with school itself; they love nothing better than proclaiming how bad things are in front of a crowd and yet very rarely will we see any of these plans come to fruition.
THE CORPORATE PARENT
By comparison, corporate parents are seen very rarely in the playground, unless they are dropping off at breakfast club or picking up at after-school club.
On the rare occasion these parents are actually seen during daylight hours, they stand off to one side, looking painfully ill at ease in their office wear – perfect for leading a board meeting, but woefully inadequate attire for picking up a snotty five-year-old.
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THE ANTI-SOCIAL PARENT
Almost as rarely seen are the ‘unfriendly parents’.
Parents who have no qualms about ejecting their children from the car without actually taking them into school themselves.
It’s OK, the oldest sibling will make sure to get them all into school, appears to be their attitude.
Quite the polar opposite of helicopter parents, these parents are more likely to drive off if they see a member of staff approaching, and you’ve little hope of them actually attending a school event, or, God forbid, a parents’ evening to discuss their children’s progress.
Interestingly, these parents are normally surprisingly vocal on social media, happy to insult the school, and the education sector in general, with alacrity.
THE SOCIAL DISTANCER
One type of parent that is always seen but who does not interact with others in the playground are the socially distanced parents.
These existed even pre-Covid, keeping their distance from others as much as possible, even when their children were friends. No playground banter for them!
Nowadays, these parents are yet to embrace the post-pandemic era, most of them only just managing to let go of their comfort masks.
They keep their children very close to them, leaving it until the very last second to let them go into school. Then they hover, bobbing their heads in front of the classroom windows, trying to see their precious offspring for as long as possible.
THE ‘BETTER LATE THAN NEVER’ PARENT
Then there are the parents who are perpetually late, both for dropping off and collecting their unfortunate children.
No matter how many letters and texts have been sent reminding them of the school times, or how many staff have had to ‘have a word’ with them (and if you are really lucky – ie. awful – the Head may deign to try and talk to you as well), they are still the ones screeching into the car park after everyone else has headed home.
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Fair enough if it is you who is paying the price for being late. But it’s not, it’s your children who have the ignominy of constantly having to walk into their classrooms late, always missing the beginning of the lesson and starting their day off on the back foot.
Sort yourselves out, and buy a decent alarm clock!