WHAT THE FROCK
Stepmum shamed for picking ‘inappropriate’ gown for daughter’s wedding but some say ‘it’s not white so what’s the issue’
UPSTAGING the bride on arguably the most important day of their life is a huge no-no.
Usually, it’s female guests who like to go all out and choose dresses that are borderline inappropriate.
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But on this occasion, a stepmum was in the firing line for her outfit of choice.
Taking Reddit, a poster uploaded a photo of a very eye-catching dress.
The caption read: “Stepmum of the bride wants to wear this…";
The dress was a nude colour, adorned with multicoloured applique flowers.
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It was a beautiful creation, resembling a wildflower meadow, and with an a-line skirt, cinched in waist and bustier.
The dramatic gown was handmade and could be purchased on Etsy for £299 and New Zealand website Zapakanz.com for £149.
But divided opinion online, with many saying it was inappropriate for a wedding.
Some even went as far as to say the stepmum was trying to be “the main character” and draw attention to herself.
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There were a few, however, who struggled to see a problem with the stepmum wearing such a dress.
One comment read: “Beautiful dress, absolutely inappropriate for someone who is not the main character.
A second penned: "Agreed. I see this as a 'centre of attention dress.’"
A third wrote: "Yeah this is a 'Look at me, not the bride!' dress. Love it, but not for the wedding."
I had a major bridesmaid wardrobe snafu at my friend's wedding - luckily the bride thought it was funny
Meanwhile, a fourth added: "I think if it could be feasibly worn as a wedding dress by the bride, it's not appropriate for anyone else to wear.
"And I'd say this falls very firmly into that category."
But others were quick to jump to the stepmum's defense and urged her to still wear it.
"Why? Too ornate?" Asked one. "Several women wore dresses like to my own wedding, and I barely noticed...so this whole post baffles me."
Another argued: "Oh please. This is not a white dress, if it matched the formality of the event then what’s the problem??
"I don’t get everyone’s obsession with wanting their guests to look mousy and bland."
According to , there are fashion rules for weddings.
Elaine Swann, lifestyle and etiquette expert and founder of The Swann School of Protocol, explained the do’s and don’ts when it comes to choosing an outfit for someone else’s big day.
1. Don’t wear white
Or off-white, or really, really pale blue. Elaine explained how lighter colours tend to photograph white.
White should also be avoided unless the bride and groom has specifically asked their party to wear that colour.
2. Avoid bridal party's colours
If you can, find out what colour the bridesmaids are wearing, and avoid it.
You can also get a sense of what colours might be chosen for the wedding theme from the wedding invite or website.
Wear something printed to avoid matching the bridal party, since, traditionally, most bridesmaids wear solid colours.
Elaine Swann
3. Consider the season.
If it's a winter wedding, a slinky gown with long sleeves, or a dress made from a velvet material is a good choice.
For spring, embrace florals whilst, for summer, you want to remember the possibility of sweating, so think of light weight fabrics.
Chiffon, cotton, and linen will be your friends.
For autumn, choose jewel tones like copper, gold, green and brown.
4. Don't go *too* casual.
Even for low-key weddings, it’s “always better to be overdressed than underdressed” the expert said.
5. Be aware of your neckline
Elain said: “I'm always here for a great cleavage moment, but weddings are generally a bit more family-friendly!
"Not only will the couple be there, but there may be extended family members, including grandparents.
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“You certainly don't have to wear something that is old fashioned—you can stay on trend.
“But remember that part of the wedding itself may be a very religious occasion as well, so there is some modesty that could be expected,” she added.
A Bride’s Ultimate Guide to Wedding Gifts
Fabulous's Digital Editor, Lydia Major, has shared her thoughts as a former bride on what to buy - and what not to buy - a couple for their big day.
I’m a traditionalist so I love to go to a wedding with a list. A list where the price points vary, the prezzies are a mix and there’s something for everyone. The joy of a list is we know the bride and groom want these things and we know no one else will buy the same - for me, that’s a win-win. I got married 8 years ago and still remember who bought us a certain photo frame or the posh-plate that only comes out at parties.
But, that being said, if someone doesn’t have a list I still would NEVER turn up empty handed. That’s plain rude. Even if the wedding cost an arm and a leg to get there. A wedding takes months, if not years,of planning, costs a fortune and it’s one of the best days out and the best parties you ever go to, so a small gesture of thanks is essential.
I still remember those who didn’t even bring a card to mine!
Also I don’t think a couple should ever quibble if guests want to give you a wedding present that’s not on your list – older generations, in particular, may feel this is more personal.
To be honest, it’s weddings where the couple want money contributed to their honeymoon or their house fund that makes me feel awkward. Is £50 tight, £150 too lavish? Where’s the benchmark? I spend weeks agonising over it talking to anyone or everyone going and then normally take a stab in the middle.
So for me - always go for a list, stick to the list and let the list be your guide!!
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