I paid £10K to become a mum after no man wanted to settle down with me – my mum and her pals made it happen

APPROACHING 40 and fearing her chances of becoming a mum were slipping away, Leigh Cooper took matters into her own hands.

She conceived son Malakai after paying £10,000 for IVF using her eggs and donor sperm — and it’s thanks to her mum Jacqui, who made it happen.

Retired Jacqui, 69, a former counsellor, scraped together £3,000 of her life savings and five of her best mates pitched in with the rest.

Their generosity meant Leigh could afford the treatment in the UK, after an attempt overseas was unsuccessful.

Leigh, whose son is now 16 months old, says: “When Mum told me she and some friends would give me such a huge sum for IVF and didn’t expect it back, I was in shock and utter disbelief.

“I was getting closer to 40 and felt time wasn’t on my side.

“I was a self-employed fitness instructor at the time and it would have been impossible to find that sort of money.

“When I look at Malakai, he reminds me of all the good that’s in the world.”

Even at eight years old, Leigh, who runs her own health and wellness company in Westward Ho!, Devon, knew she wanted to be a mum some day.

She had expected to settle down in her 20s but losing her dad to a heart attack when she was 18 changed her perspective.

She says: “When Dad died, it made me feel that life was for living, not settling down.

"I was in a relationship at the time and when that ended I began working abroad, first as a holiday rep and later as cabin crew.

“Deep down, what I really wanted was to be at home with a family.”

During her late 20s Leigh dated men who either didn’t feel ready to have a baby, or had children already and didn’t want any more.

She says: “Every relationship I went into was the person I wanted to settle down with — but I didn’t find anyone who wanted to settle down with me.

“I held on to unhealthy relationships simply because I was desperate to have a baby.”

Leigh reached a turning point at 36, when a relationship ended after two and a half years, and she began researching other ways to conceive.

One was IUI, or intrauterine insemination, which involves placing sperm inside the uterus close to the fallopian tubes.

Leigh says: “In my naivety I asked my GP if I could have help getting pregnant without a partner — of course they wouldn’t entertain the idea.

“Then I contacted the London Women’s Clinic but discovered it would cost £3,000 for IUI and if that didn’t work, around £5,000 for one round of IVF.

“I could have got a loan or a couple of credit cards to cover the cost but I knew it would spiral if it didn’t work.

“I half considered a one-night stand to conceive but apart from how impossible it would be for a woman my age to get pregnant on the off-chance, it felt morally wrong to be so deceptive.”

Six weeks later — and after researching overseas clinics online — Leigh took a solo flight to Ukraine, where IUI is half the price.

She says: “Mum had lots of reservations and she didn’t want me to have treatment in a different country.

“They offer closed donation over there, which meant I couldn’t pick the sperm donor, but I was very irrational because I wanted it so much.”

After tests, Leigh was told she couldn’t have the treatment because she was at the wrong stage in her cycle.

But when she called her mum to tell her, Jacqui had some news of her own.

Leigh says: “I couldn’t stay in Ukraine any longer due to work commitments so I told Mum I needed to work out a way to raise the money to go back to the same clinic for treatment at a later date.

“That’s when she dropped the bombshell that she’d got the money to pay for IVF in the UK.

“She said some friends had offered to chip in.

"Mum has a heart of gold and would do anything for anyone and she’d told them her concerns about me going overseas.

“When I tried to argue that I couldn’t accept the money, she said they all insisted.”

Back home and with the £10,000 in the bank, Leigh was 37 when she went to the London clinic for her first round of IVF using her own eggs and donor sperm.

But after spending £2,000 of her budget on initial tests, she was told her eggs weren’t viable.

In October 2020 she tried again, and this time she reached the point of choosing her sperm donor, who was half Latvian, half Vietnamese.

Two months later Leigh went ahead with the process, which resulted in 12 embryos.

After one was implanted she was thrilled to become pregnant, but ten weeks on, she miscarried.

She says: “When I was told nothing could be done to save the baby I was inconsolable, and I couldn’t bear to be around my mum.

“I knew how much she wanted to be a grandmother — I felt I had let not just her down, but also the people who had been so generous in the first place.”

Undeterred, and despite a difficult three months as her body recovered, Leigh tried again.

She says: “By then all the money had gone.

“I’d spent £950 for the sperm donation, £5,500 for the IVF itself and £950 for medication.

“The only consolation was that I had the embryos that were left in storage.

“I put a couple of thousand pounds on credit cards to pay for another transfer and I fell pregnant again.

“It was bittersweet, because I was terrified things would end badly.

"Mum came with me to every appointment. I bought a cot but nothing else because I didn’t want to jinx it.

“Mum was the one buying clothes and other baby bits.”

But in December 2021 after Leigh had been in labour for 15 hours, Malakai was born at Treliske Hospital in Cornwall, weighing 7lb 3oz.

Leigh says: “Mum was overcome with emotion.

"She was worried she might break Malakai. It was the best feeling in the world seeing them together.

“She stayed with us and as I was breastfeeding, she made sure I ate properly and rested. I didn’t have a partner, but Mum filled that void.”

While being a mum is a dream come true for Leigh, she fears the day her son asks her why he doesn’t have a daddy.

She says: “It will be really difficult but I will be as honest as I can be and focus on how he came into the world and how special it was.

“Some might judge me and be shocked by my decisions but everyone deserves the right to bring a child into this world if they can, whatever the circumstances, as long as they’re brought up with love.”

Jacqui says: “I did have concerns about Leigh going down this route to become a mum.

“Even though I wanted a grandchild, I suggested she wait a bit longer for it to happen naturally but the years were going by so quickly.

“Once I got my head around the ins and outs of it all, I was with her all the way.

“I’m on a basic pension so I was very lucky to have such good friends who wanted to help Leigh and dig into their pockets.

“Malakai is my little sweetheart and I feel so lucky. We are so grateful to have him in our lives.”