I gave up work to be a stay-at-home mum – I ask my husband for permission to get my hair done & even my family judge me
EVIE SMITH, 29, is a stay-at-home mum and lives with her husband Aaron, 32, a software developer, and their daughter Isabella, two, in Chafford Hundred, Essex.
Their second child is due in May.
Here, Evie tells us how she and Aaron split their duties and why it works for them.
Evie says: “Childcare and doing the household chores is my role, while Aaron works full- time.
“But he does take out the bins and walks and feeds our dog, Merlin.
“Aaron’s mum gave up work when he was little, and he believes her being so hands-on contributed to how successful he is in life today.
“He likes the fact his children will have the same.
“Growing up, I was never very maternal and I didn’t think I’d be a good mum.
“But that changed when Bella came along in April 2020 and I threw everything into it.
“After a year-long maternity leave from my job at the dentist, I was planning to go back.
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“But we worked out that my salary would only just cover childcare costs.
“If I gave it up completely, we’d save money in the long run.
“At first, I found it hard to adjust to not earning and living off Aaron.
“I’ve been known to ask his permission if I want to have my hair done because I find it hard to treat myself otherwise.
“Giving up work has been the best decision for our family.
“Bella is usually awake and in our bed for cuddles at 7am.
“Aaron works shifts, and if it’s an early start at 7am, he’ll bring us breakfast.
“My day is then a blur of baby classes, running errands, doing the chores and cooking.
“I write myself a daily, weekly and monthly to-do list.
“I’m really house proud and get a huge sense of accomplishment when I’ve ticked everything off.
“I also make sure I find a few hours to spend quality time with Bella, such as playing and colouring.
“Some of my family aren’t very supportive of our decision, and make comments about me 'sitting at home all day doing nothing, living off of Aaron'.
“I’ve had them occasionally from ex-work colleagues, too.
“But my mum friends who work say they’d love to be able to spend more time with their child.
“That’s the best thing. I get to see Bella all the time and I’m here for her, and we feel that’s really important.
“The worst thing is that it can feel quite isolating and I sometimes envy Aaron being able to go to work and have some adult conversations.
“But Aaron envies how I get to spend more time with Bella.
“We support each other too.
“If one has had a hard day, the other will step up.
“It works for our family and relationship perfectly.
“There are hard days when I wish I could be at work for a break and I’ll definitely go back to work when both kids are in primary school and need me less.
“Whether you’re a stay-at-home or a working mum, it’s a really hard job.
“We are all trying to do our best."
Aaron says: “Evie being at home made financial sense for us and it means she’ll have a brilliant bond with Bella.
“With my wage alone, I’m able to support my whole family.
“But I also want to be involved in our children’s lives.
“I only really saw my dad at weekends when I was little as he was working.
“So I love it when I have an early shift.
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“And with working at home, it means I still get to have quality family time.
“That’s what’s really important.”