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WINE NOT

My three-year-old told his teacher I was a wino – then I found out what he really meant & I’m not sure what’s worse

A SHOCKED mum has revealed her embarrassment after hearing her son call her a wino to his teacher.

Gemma Blandford shared the mortifying tale on Facebook for fellow mums and dads to enjoy, and she soon discovered that she’s not the only parent who has fallen foul of children’s funny phrases.

Poor Gemma was mortified by her son's loud remark
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Poor Gemma was mortified by her son's loud remarkCredit: Getty

Recalling the incident on the social media group - which boasts more than a million members - she wrote: “Waiting for my son (3) to come out of school and I hear him saying to a teacher ‘my mum is a wino.

“Thinking I misheard him, I asked him when I came out what he said.

“In front of everyone he says ‘mum you are a wino aren’t ya.”

Gemma was understandably horrified by her son’s loud remark, but it didn’t stop there.

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She added: “I’m so confused and probably red-faced.

“He gets home and brings me RHINO and says ‘this is yours mum’.”

After understanding what her son really meant, Gemma’s not sure which word is worse.

“I don’t know if I want to be a wino now he’s just called me a Rhino,” she revealed. 

Fellow parents flocked to comment on Gemma’s post, sharing their embarrassing tales in solidarity. 

And some mums and dads really gave Gemma’s tale a run for its money. 

One mum called Carly confessed: “My son once told all of the mums in the playground that he wanted ‘a slag to play minger warriors with’. 

“He actually wanted a flag to play ninja warriors.”

Another mortified parent recalled: “We had a gym in the garage with ropes. Our little boy told his teacher ‘mummy and daddy have a secret swing but I can’t use it.”

And it seems kids revel in telling tales about their apparent alcohol-drinking family members.

Marie, another empathetic party, replied: “Kids say all sorts of things. 

“My daughter told the nursery that her aunt spent her days running around the house in the nude drinking wine.

“And on a nursery trip to a park they passed some beer bottles by a bin and she told everyone ‘they must be my dad’s’.”

Meanwhile, other kids have claimed they themselves have been drinking mum and dad’s booze.

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A final mum chimed: “My youngest once walked into infant school and announced that he felt ‘a little bit drunk today’.

“I did point out to the teaching assistant that he hadn’t had vodka on his Weetabix, then scuttled out.”

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