I’m a mum and class rep – what teachers never want for Christmas & what mums always do that annoys other parents

VIEWERS of BBC TV comedy Motherland know just how tricky it can be navigating the school-mum cliques – especially at this time of year.

From buying gifts teachers actually want, to dealing with the dash for front-row seats at the nativity play, mum-of-two and former PTA chair-woman Emma Kent is well versed on all the dos and don’ts

She is a former PTA chairwoman and parent class rep.

Here Emma, 42, from Tunbridge Wells, Kent, passes on her top tips to help mums have a top-class Christmas.

DON’T CLOG UP WHATSAPP GROUPS: If you thought chat messages were overwhelming before, just wait. 

You will be asked to help at the Christmas Fair, remember cash for fundraising efforts, dates for the Nativity, carol concert and end-of-term drinks.

Now is the time to keep calm. Whatever you do, do not clog up the group with messages about lost socks or water bottles. Nobody will thank you for it at this stressful time.

TEACHERS HATE TAT: You will need to think about getting your child’s teacher a gift. But what should you buy?

It is tempting to think of something personal and thoughtful. But take it from me, they don’t want yet another candle or a cushion printed with the faces of your little darlings. 

No, teachers like vouchers they can use to buy something they actually want. If your parent class rep offers to organise a fund to buy a joint gift, go with it because it will save you time and the teacher will not know if you contributed £20 or £2.

TURN UP TO THE NATIVITY HOURS EARLY: The hotly debated Nativity play line-up was finalised weeks ago and whether your little angel is actually an angel, or the back end of a donkey, shelve your disappointment and keep a smile on your face. 

It is bad form to sulk and as long as your child is happy, it really doesn’t matter. But be warned — on the day of the Nativity, everyone will be after the seats with the best views, so get there early and be prepared to wait in line (and keep your elbows sharpened for queue jumpers).

NO SNEAKING GIFTS INTO CARDS: When it comes to Christmas cards, play it safe and send one to every child in the class — especially if the school has a Christmas post box. Leaving children out isn’t a good look. 

Do not be that parent who drops a treat in the envelope, because it only puts pressure on everyone else. Some mums have sugar phobias, so definitely skip the sweets too. 

PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT: Your child might bring home a design they have lovingly created and which you can have printed on cards, tea towels or mugs. Make sure you buy something, even if it is a packet of gift tags. You are heading straight for the PTA’s bad books if you don’t.

BAKE BREAK – GET YOUR NAILS DONE INSTEAD: Don’t bother spending hours slogging away in the kitchen baking shortbread Santas for the Christmas cake sale. And forget slaving over elaborate creations for the hat competition as it’s a waste of time and looks like you are trying to show off. 

Spend time on something more fun, such as getting your nails done or going out for a festive lunch with your school mum friends. You will earn far more Brownie points that way.

DON’T MOAN ABOUT THE FAIR: Get involved with school stuff because nobody warms to that parent who comes to every event but never volunteers to face paint or get their hands dirty. These parents also seem to be the ones who moan the most about the events. 

You are not entitled to an opinion on a school event that others have invested hours in if you are not making the effort.

If you don’t like the way the Christmas events are run, join the PTA and get involved because you get to know other parents and seeing the kids enjoying the events you run is priceless, and your ideas will be heard.

DON’T GET SOZZLED: Go to the obligatory Christmas night out even if you would rather be at home eating a box of Celebrations and watching Netflix. 

Yes, your diary is packed with Christmas parties, but you will come across as boring if you don’t go.

However, if this is your first year at school, watch your alcohol intake until you are welcomed fully into the fold, which does not happen overnight. The walk of shame on the school run the next day is not a good look.

You will probably get invited to lots of Christmas events and kids’ play dates, so make sure you make a note and reciprocate. Otherwise, you will be left off guest lists next year.

NO BRAGGING ON SOCIAL MEDIA: The school term may end the week before Christmas but you are still on the mums’ radar right up until the kids go back to school in January.

Do not be that mum who posts photos of piles of presents under the Christmas tree. Families will be struggling this year and other children in your kids’ class might not receive many gifts. 

Now is the right time to show your softer side by donating toys to a local charity or toy appeal in your area.

Finally, enjoy this special time at school. It’s magical and the kids love it.

• Additional reporting: Alice McIntyre