I’m a nanny – how to ‘teach your kids a lesson’ when they’ve pushed it too far & why shouting will never work
SHE worked as a professional nanny for 12 years, and has another 10 years' experience working alongside parents.
So when it comes to children and their different behaviours, Laura Amies feels she can honestly say she's "seen it all".
Through this experience, Laura has come up with a tried and tested approach to positively impact a child's behaviour - and it works brilliantly if your kids have pushed you to the brink.
"As with anything, some techniques work better than others, so I’m going to share with you a three step approach to delivering effective strategies with long-lasting results; results which will help your child develop self control and sensible decision making skills," Laura told us.
Asses the situation
First of all, Laura suggests taking a moment to assess the situation before responding to your child's behaviour.
"When your child behaves in a way that you feel is unacceptable, you are likely to experience a surge of anger which may go on to have an impact on your reaction," she explained.
Read more Parenting stories
"Understandably, in these moments parents often say things and make decisions based on emotions as opposed to logic or facts.";
Say what you see
"If your child hits their sibling, asking the question 'Did you just hit your brother?!' actually sets them up for a further misdemeanour," Laura said.
'They will naturally try to deflect your anger with a dishonesty that will only increase your emotional response.
"By stating facts, you offer your child a chance to connect to the moment, for example: 'You hit your brother, he’s hurt.'"
Most read in Fabulous
Choose a consequence relevant to their behaviour
"If a child who has thrown their toy in anger is told that they can’t have pudding (with a meal that is hours away), they are likely to experience more anger in that moment," Laura explained.
"Children do not take information onboard whilst emotions are heightened, therefore an effective consequence would actually be them picking the toy up and placing it back where it belongs, or for you to calmly remove the toy from circulation for a short time."
This is known as a "logical consequence".
In contrast, "illogical consequences do no offer children the opportunity to link an emotion to an event, or to understand why we shouldn’t do the very thing they are being punished for doing", Laura said.
And NEVER shout!
"Shouting, threats or harsh punishments can become a go-to reaction for many parents," Laura said.
"Sadly these reactions don’t offer children a chance to develop the skills which are essential to improving future behaviours.
Read More on The Sun
"I wonder, if they were to shout at, or threaten you in any way……would you calm down and make a good decision?"
For more tips on how to handle your children’s outbursts, head to