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STRICTLY FAMILY AFFAIR
We had a family summit before I joined Strictly – then dad said Oti stole my thunder anyway, reveals Motsi Mabuse
AT the age of 38, most people make their own decisions when it comes to their career, but not Motsi Mabuse.
Offered the chance to join the Strictly Come Dancing judging panel in 2019, the professional dancer had to call a summit with her whole family, including dad Peter, mum Dudu and younger sisters Phemelo and Oti, who had been a pro dancer on the show for four years.
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![The star reveals 'There was a bit of anxiety within the family [about the two sisters on the show] and how [it would work]', pictured: with sister Oti](http://www.mcb777.site/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/dd1262de-8793-4cec-a5ee-9801c26f4d5e.jpg?strip=all&w=705)
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“We had a family conversation,” explains Motsi, now 41, “Everybody was involved because it was such a big decision. There was a bit of anxiety within the family [about the two sisters on the show] and how [it would work].
"They were like: ‘You can’t judge your sister.’ I said: ‘I’m not judging my sister.’ So it was for the family to say: ‘Everybody be at their best and then we are all good.’
“And I remember after the first day, Oti said: ‘You were so good. You light it up. I’m so proud.’”
Then her dad wrote to Motsi saying how proud he was of her performance, adding: “I’m sure many people, knowing that you’re Oti’s big sister, were anxiously waiting to hear your comments about her partner. And Oti did not let you down. In fact, their dance stole your thunder.”
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But she did feel her mum’s wrath last year when Oti and her celebrity partner, rugby player Ugo Monye, were voted out in week five.
“Mum was like: ‘You judges’, and I was like: ‘We judges? I’m your daughter!’” she recalls, laughing.
But the family affair is over, as last night Motsi returned to the BBC1 panel alongside Shirley Ballas, Anton Du Beke and Craig Revel Horwood, without 32-year-old Oti, who quit earlier this year.
Motsi says: “I’m really curious [how Strictly will be without her]. It always makes a difference if you know somebody is on your side. You know that you’ve got family there. She’s my favourite dancer. I will miss her, but I think she left her spirit. I will always carry that spirit on.”
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But Oti hasn’t just left Strictly – she’s now competing against her sister for viewers, having joined ITV’s The Masked Dancer, which is on at the same time. Motsi insists there is no rivalry.
She says: “The Mabuse girls from South Africa are both on prime-time TV. I think it’s monumental. We’ve both worked so hard. So it’s actually a celebration. It’s a good story. I’m happy and thankful that we’ve both got these opportunities. We give each other feedback.
"I watched her on Dancing On Ice [Oti joined the judging panel in January] and I messaged her saying: ‘Come on, girl’, so we always do that for each other. But she’s her own person, I’m my own person, we all have different goals.”
It is amazing that Motsi manages to put a positive spin on everything, given that she hasn’t had the easiest life. In her new autobiography, Finding My Own Rhythm, she chronicles her struggle to get to the top of the dancing world.
It wasn’t an easy task, considering she grew up in apartheid-era South Africa, where dance classes for black children didn’t even exist – until her trailblazing mother hired a hall and a teacher so local kids could learn.
Although her parents tried to shelter her from the harsh realities of racial segregation, there were still incidents where Motsi witnessed the levels of hatred towards her. She particularly remembers being with her mum when a white woman shouted at them merely for being in the same shop as her.
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Writing in her book, she says: “Once, my mother took Phemelo and me to a supermarket near Pretoria, where the majority of customers happened to be white. We were still very young and suddenly a white woman started bad-mouthing our mother and making a scene. I tried to understand what it all meant.
"Why did she think we weren’t allowed to shop here? It was the first time that I became aware that something weird was going on. Dudu said to us: ‘Whatever this white lady said, she had no right to. Never let a white person tell you that you shouldn’t be somewhere just because you’re black.’”
Motsi’s parents also scraped together the money to send their girls to a mixed private school, which they thought would give them more opportunities. But it was there that Motsi, who’d get up at 5am to catch the school bus, experienced hatred from both pupils and teachers.
Long shadow over her life
Reflecting on that time, Motsi says: “Every day on the bus we had arguments with these big, white boys who bullied us. We had all these privileges, but there was conflict every time. Some teachers were harder on us because they thought: ‘You’ll have it harder in life.’ And some were just racist.
"How do you tell your parents what’s going on when they’re spending their whole income [to send you to school]? My parents were always fighting to keep us safe. They tried so hard to put us in private school.
"They did this even though it was expensive. But we were confronted with the race thing every single day. And it’s something you never get a break from. You are reminded: ‘You’re black.’”
The effect of growing up in such a hostile environment has left its mark on Motsi. She describes it as “a long shadow over her life”.
“Who doesn’t [carry the trauma of that experience]? We thought it was normal, until I started speaking about it, and everyone said: ‘Whoa, that really happened?’ We saw cars burning while we were going to school.
"We couldn’t even speak to anybody about it because it was just normal. Everybody was going through it. Oti came 10 years later, so she was born into a whole different South Africa. It was not the same – things had changed.
“But we all still carry it in some way. You’re never good enough. You will always try harder. But you’ll always be the one that the people will take less seriously.
"My parents taught me a thing called ‘black excellence’. They said: ‘You need to push, push, push and ignore everything else.’”
If you wanted to win as much as I did, you’d want a white partner. But I knew however good I was, no white boy would dance with me.
Motsi Mabuse
Even with dancing, Motsi encountered problems. Writing in her book, she says: “White people were privileged in the dance world – they had the best facilities and teachers. They were favoured in the competitions, everything went their way.
'If you wanted to win as much as I did, you’d want a white partner. But I knew however good I was, no white boy would dance with me.”
To this day on Strictly, there are still often allegations that the black contestants are voted off early in the competition. But Motsi – who lives in Germany with her husband, fellow dancer Evgenij Voznyuk, and their four-year-old daughter – has firm words for any contestants on this year’s series.
“My advice is to work hard, then work even harder,” she says. “You do your best and work on the things that you can change. So when you do go out, you know: ‘I gave my best.’
"It’s unfair, but it is what it is. Be excellent, because a good dancer is really difficult to kick out. We are good judges, who are open, so you will be kept in. Look at AJ Odudu last year. We fell in love with her.”
Motsi had a soft spot for TV presenter AJ, because they are part of the same support network for black women.
“I didn’t know AJ,” she says. “But I knew of her, because we’ve got this WhatsApp group for us girls. Everyone is in it. All black women. I can’t tell you who, but [we all support each other].
"So I didn’t know her personally, but when I met her on Strictly, I said: ‘You’re so inspiring to me.’ She was perfect in that mentality of saying: ‘I’m going to be good at this. I can do this.’
"And she said something I will always remember: ‘We’re not all activists, but even showing black joy is a type of activism. Why does it always have to be the sad story?’”
I’m happy and healthy
As well as her skin colour, Motsi has struggled with her appearance – and even considered having a nose job, after being teased in school for it being “too slender by African beauty standards”.
“I did think about going to a cosmetic surgeon. But I have a nose and it works, so I’m gonna leave it alone!”
Motsi admits the war in Ukraine has shifted her priorities on how she feels about herself, particularly as her husband is from the country.
“I used to be a gym freak, but now as long as I’m happy and healthy… It’s been the craziest year. I have my in-laws living with us. It’s a relief they are safe and now our daughter gets to grow up with her grandparents.
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"But I still have one family member in Ukraine. Now, six months on [from when the conflict started], they’re like: ‘I think it’s time to move.’ Because it’s not changing. We’ve been raising funds.
"My husband has been taking care of the Ukrainian community in Germany. That does something to you, unless you’re not human.”
Back on Strictly, Motsi was worried former judge Bruno Tonioli had fallen out with her after he ignored all her texts when he left the panel and was replaced by Anton Du Beke.
“I’ve spoken to Bruno,” she says with a sigh. “We’re going to meet up in December when he’s back from LA. I miss him so much. The funny thing was, I was texting him on the wrong number.
"He messaged me on Twitter and I was like: ‘Bruno, I’ve been writing to you for months.’ I was thinking: ‘Why is he not replying? Why’s he rejecting me?’
I used to be a gym freak, but now as long as I’m happy and healthy… It’s been the craziest year.
Motsi Mabuse
"And now we’ve reconnected. He’s so much fun. I like him because he makes me feel normal. It’s like: ‘You think I’m crazy? Wait, here comes Bruno!’”
And how does she feel about the current panel? “Anton is so much fun. And who doesn’t love Shirley? We have a lot of fun together. She’s older than me, so I listen. She says: ‘Don’t do that’, so you don’t do it.”
And what about Craig Revel Horwood, who called one lime outfit Motsi wore last year “a headache”? She laughs, admitting she ignores any criticism about her bold fashion choices.
She says: “Craig is the sweetest – he hates me saying that. But I was watching RuPaul’s Drag Race in lockdown and I had a ‘kerching’ moment, because every time somebody’s completely different and weird, they win.
"I was like: ‘Oh my god, we try so hard to fit in.’ And I thought: ‘OK, you get me now. Why should I be on TV and fit in?’ I love it. I have everything I have because of who I am. So why should I try to be something else? Definitely not. It’s too late for me to change anyway.”
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Sounds like Motsi has got it completely right.
- Finding My Own Rhythm by Motsi Mabuse (£20, Ebury Spotlight) is out now. Watch Strictly Come Dancing, Saturday, BBC1, and on BBC iPlayer.
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In the make-up chair with Motsi
What are your skincare heroes?
If I’m spoiling myself, I’ll buy Crème de La Mer – we only have one skin!
Any make-up-bag essentials?
I always need an eyeliner, and I like Charlotte Tilbury mascara and Fenty Beauty foundation.
What’s your budget buy?
My lips get dry, so I buy tubs of Carmex.
Your top beauty tip?
Always use sunscreen. I forgot one day on holiday recently and I can see where my skin got damaged.
Who’s your beauty icon?
Zendaya looks great. I love Janelle Monáe, too.
Describe your beauty evolution
I try to give my skin a rest from make-up, because I wear so much when I’m working. In Germany, it’s still hard to find foundation in my skin tone – when I first started on German TV,
I used to look like a grey whale. Now I’m lucky enough to work with people who really get my skin.
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