I’m an etiquette expert – 10 ways to spot an unhygienic home in an instant before you step in the door
THINK your house looks clean? Think again.
Etiquette expert William Hanson reveals ten hints of dirt your guests will instantly spot…
POLISHES ON PARADE
ONE of my biggest bugbears is people who have cleaning products beside or behind the loo.
It’s disgusting.
There’s inevitably going to be some spray from those who have stood at the lavatory.
And it’s a tried and tested theory of mine that those who have cleaning products on show never have the cleanest houses.
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They’re deluded if they think that just because visitors can see the bleach, it automatically means the bathrooms are clean.
If you insist on having things in and around the loo, there should be half a metre’s distance between the toilet and anything else in the room, including the lavatory brush.
Those who don’t clean the bowl — or anything sitting beside it for that matter — immaculately every other day are degenerates.
Crusty, smelly and damp hand towels are another big no-no.
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DIRTY DOOR
WE all know that first impressions count.
You want people to relax when they come round to your house and a dirty front door instantly tells them your home is filthy.
They won’t bring their guest A-game if they feel they’re spending an evening in the presence of dirt.
I dread to think what the rest of the house is like if I turn up to a place with a less than immaculate front entrance. It is lazy and slobby.
PLUG-IN SCENTS
GHASTLY plug-ins that give off an artificial scent every five minutes mask odours in an otherwise smelly and unclean house.
There is no substitute for a natural, fresh, clean smell in a home. Artificial smells are never pleasant and especially steer clear of odd fragrance combinations.
Candles are OK, except when they have vague, abstract names such as Spanish Seaside or Home Improvement — avoid.
The only way to improve your home with those sorts of candles is to get rid.
MUCKY MUGS
MUGS or cups stained with caked-on tea or coffee marks show poor standards and visitors will think you don’t care about them.
We all know that a mug or teacup has been used before but we don’t want to be reminded — it’s disgusting.
Glasses that are cloudy from the dishwasher are also unappetising.
I never wash my glassware in the dishwasher — always by hand — which brings a beautiful sheen and sparkling lustre to them.
Ice-cold water in a clean glass is so much nicer. It’s shallow to judge people on these things, but we do. It’s human nature.
SWEATY PILLOW
IF you’re staying over at a friend’s house and a pillow — or a mattress — doesn’t have a protective fabric cover, then beware.
Clearly, your host really doesn’t care or has no idea about standard hygiene.
Without a protector, you’re resting your head on a sweaty, unclean place that’s been home to heaven knows how many other grimy heads before yours.
Going to bed on someone else’s bacteria does not bode well for a good night’s sleep.
I’ve been known to take a pillow protector in my overnight bag, which I’d recommend just to be on the safe side.
SOGGY DISH CLOTHS
YOU must get rid of used dish cloths every night because they are a breeding ground for germs.
Use them for one day and throw them in the bin.
The worst types are damp terry towel dish cloths left on the kitchen worktop, which cause bacteria to multiply.
Anyone who leaves sodden dish cloths of any description beside the sink doesn’t care about cleanliness.
Leaving cloths around also means you are disorganised and aren’t ready for your guests, so you must get them in the bin nightly.
DUSTY SKIRTING BOARDS
VERY few people remember to dust skirting boards.
When going around a room to check for cleanliness, it’s important to look top to bottom, left to right and front to back.
Someone with dusty skirting boards, or cobwebs in the corners, has tunnel vision and is missing those important areas that scream SLOB.
KIDS’ TOYS
IF the kids’ toys are left around long after they’ve gone to bed, you are a bad parent.
Toys that are left out make a room look cluttered and tell whoever is visiting — whether it’s your friends or neighbours — you are disorganised.
As much as they might love your children, they don’t need a constant reminder that you have them.
If toys aren’t put away tidily, you have no regard for cleanliness and you are setting a bad example by simply not parenting your children correctly.
NO NAPKINS
IF you don’t offer your guests a napkin, where are you wiping your hands after you’ve eaten?
Your trousers, your skirt, the sofa?
A complete lack of awareness of giving a napkin — or a substitute piece of kitchen roll — to guests is alarming.
This kind of house will inevitably have food on the floor, which is revolting.
BULBS OUT
LIGHT bulbs that have gone and haven’t been replaced rattle my OCD.
You can just about get away with having one bulb out in a light fitting when friends come over, but even that is bordering on slobby.
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There’s no excuse to not change a bulb.
If you find the same one is out the next time you go to a friend’s house, it should sound alarm bells about your host’s attention to detail in other places.
Cleaning hacks and tips
Here are some tips to help you clean your home like a pro:
- How to clean your washing machine in a few easy steps
- Keep on top of cleaning your oven regularly
- Clean your shower to ensure it's always sparkling
- How to clean your microwave using cheap household items
- Here's how to get rid of that nasty limescale in your kettle
- You're cleaning your carpet all wrong - here's how to get it spotless again in no time
- Unblock a toilet without a plunger
- Clean your fabric or leather sofa in a few easy steps
- If you haven't in ages, here's how
- Steps to cleaning your dishwasher to leave it looking brand new
- This is how to clean mirrors and windows without streaking
- Keep your toilet clean in four easy steps
- Give your TV screen a once-over
- Did you know your Venetian, Roman, vertical, or roller blinds also need cleaning?
- Deep-clean your fridge in five simple steps