I was obsessed with being a wife when I met Paddy – now I realise it was my autism, says Christine McGuinness

Most celebrities are tight-lipped when it comes to discussing problems in their relationships.

But Christine McGuinness is not one of them.

In the face of mounting speculation that she is on the brink of splitting from her Top Gear presenter husband Paddy McGuinness, she has bravely decided to be open and honest about their relationship.

It’s understandable how scary it must be for the TV star to consider even the possibility of her marriage failing.

Not only do she and Paddy share three children, but all she has ever wanted was a stable family, with two loving parents at the heart of it.

In her autobiography, A Beautiful Nightmare, she revealed how difficult her own upbringing was, when her mum Joanne struggled to make ends meet for the family after splitting from her dad Johnny, who was a heroin addict.

“I wanted to create the perfect family. I wanted a mummy or daddy at home with the children.

"I wanted them to be surrounded by love and laughter.

"Most people probably want that, but for me it was like an obsession.

"And I know now that it’s not always perfect and there are going to be difficult times and that’s OK, too.

"That’s quite normal life for everybody.”

She joined The Real Housewives Of Cheshire as a guest in 2018, but it was an appearance on Loose Women talking about her twins having autism that changed her life.

They had just been diagnosed and were non-verbal at the time.

The show got a massive reaction and led to her and her husband making a documentary for the BBC, Paddy And Christine McGuinness: Our Family And Autism.

During filming, Christine herself was also diagnosed as autistic.

“[Paddy] said quite a few times before I went through the assessment: ‘You do know that you’re gonna get diagnosed with autism? Are you ready to hear that?’

"I just didn’t know. I knew that there was something – the penny didn’t completely drop until I got diagnosed. It felt like a huge relief.

“Everything just made sense. And I stopped feeling so apologetic all the time. I always felt different at school, but I had never heard of autism then.

"It’s quite sad when I look back. I was misunderstood. No teacher ever asked why I didn’t want to go to class.

"I couldn’t do my exams – I remember hearing everyone’s pen scribbling and it felt so loud even though it was silent. I just burst into tears and left. I got told off and was expelled.

“I was constantly told I was being naughty or challenging. Unfortunately, that is quite common for autistic people.

“Going out for meals has always been a problem, too. I’d always make excuses and say: ‘I’ve eaten already,’ when I hadn’t.

"It was the taste, the smell, the colour, the texture, and the whole social side of it as well.

"Whereas now I can say: ‘I’ve got sensory issues around food. Can you please not put any sauce on it and keep it plain.’ It’s good that once you understand it, you know how to ask for help.”

Christine now realises that her autism is the reason behind her huge desire to settle down, because she was “copying” what she presumed was a typical family to appear “normal”.

“Masking [where people learn certain behaviours and suppress others to be more like people around them] is common in people with autism.

"That’s what I’ve always done, I’ve copied whatever situation.

"And when I met my husband, I was obsessed with becoming a mum and a wife.

"I wanted to be the typical wife that stays at home and cooks and cleans and raises children. And that, in my head, was the perfect mum and housewife.”