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MARRIAGE CRISIS
I didn’t cause marriage problems with Paddy, I just won’t put up with what I have in the past, says Christine McGuinness
MOST celebrities are tight-lipped when it comes to discussing problems in their relationships. But Christine McGuinness is not one of them.
In the face of mounting speculation that she is on the brink of splitting from her Top Gear presenter husband Paddy McGuinness, she has bravely decided to be open and honest about their relationship.
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Speaking for the first time about their troubles, she says: “I can’t deny right now is a very, very difficult time for us. I’m feeling really quite raw and all over the place.”
Rumours surrounding the pair began swirling when Paddy, 48, appeared not to publicly support his wife when she was competing in ITV’s The Games. Christine hasn’t shared an Instagram picture with her husband since February, when she posted a promotional image of the pair to launch their first podcast, Table Talk.
And of course, there were the recent separate holidays, with Paddy jetting off to Portugal, while Christine “followed her heart” and went to Croatia with the girls a week later. Since returning, they’ve been spotted together looking far from happy.
“It’s just, we’ve been together 15 years – 11 years married. We are gonna have ups and downs, but this situation at the minute…I don’t want to go into it too much, but I will just say that I didn’t cause this situation,” she says, touching her engagement ring.
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Christine, a 34-year-old former model who won Miss Liverpool aged 18, was just 19 when the funnyman chatted her up at a bikini fashion show at the Liverpool International Tennis Tournament in 2007. They went on to tie the knot at Thornton Manor on the Wirral in 2011 and have three children together, twins Leo and Penelope, nine, and Felicity, six.
“I think you’ve got to expect it [ups and downs] when you’ve been together for so long. Everyone grows and changes, and we’ve grown as a family, which is amazing. You know, that family bond will always be there, no matter what.
"But I was a teenager when I met him and I’m a 34-year-old woman now, so I suppose what I might have put up with in the past, I probably wouldn’t put up with now – and the same for him.”
It’s clearly hard for Christine to talk about her marriage in this way. She stops several times to gather her thoughts, often looking on the verge of tears. But she wants to set the record straight on Paddy’s tattoo, which he got on his ring finger after losing his wedding ring twice.
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Fans were convinced he’d had the inking removed, after it wasn’t visible in a video he posted recently. But she insists he still has it.
“I’m all right. I’m OK. It’s just a difficult time – but he still has the tattoo.”
It’s understandable how scary it must be for the TV star to consider even the possibility of her marriage failing. Not only do she and Paddy share three children, but all she has ever wanted was a stable family, with two loving parents at the heart of it.
In her autobiography, A Beautiful Nightmare, she revealed how difficult her own upbringing was, when her mum Joanne struggled to make ends meet for the family after splitting from her dad Johnny, who was a heroin addict.
'Perfect family'
“I wanted to create the perfect family. I wanted a mummy or daddy at home with the children. I wanted them to be surrounded by love and laughter. Most people probably want that, but for me it was like an obsession. And I know now that it’s not always perfect and there are going to be difficult times and that’s OK, too. That’s quite normal life for everybody.”
This isn’t the first time that Christine and Paddy have worked through problems in their relationship. In 2018, Paddy was caught on camera looking close with All Saints star Nicole Appleton while he was away working in London.
After the photos surfaced, Christine was tagged in hundreds of posts on social media urging her to leave her husband. Writing in her book, she said: “In the space of a few hours, suddenly everyone had an opinion on my marriage, and I didn’t know what was going on myself.”
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Leaving their Cheshire home, Christine retreated to her grandparents’ house in Blackpool, where her nan told her: “Marriage is difficult. I’ve been through it all with Grandad, and look at us now. I wouldn’t be without him.”
It was those words that helped Christine work through the tough period with Paddy.
She wrote: “That advice has always stuck with me. People go through difficult times in marriage, family, work, life – everything…I wanted my children to have a dad at home. It didn’t matter to me if I’d forgiven him, if I was OK with it or if I trusted him. All of that didn’t count, I just wanted my children to have their father there – something I never had.”
I wanted my children to have a dad at home. It didn’t matter to me if I’d forgiven him, if I was OK with it or if I trusted him.
Christine McGuinness
But while Christine “brushed it all under the carpet”, it did motivate her to focus on herself a bit more. Having always been content to be a housewife, she felt that she wanted a career of her own.
She joined The Real Housewives Of Cheshire as a guest in 2018, but it was an appearance on Loose Women talking about her twins having autism that changed her life. They had just been diagnosed and were non-verbal at the time. The show got a massive reaction and led to her and her husband making a documentary for the BBC, Paddy And Christine McGuinness: Our Family And Autism.
During filming, Christine herself was also diagnosed as autistic.“[Paddy] said quite a few times before I went through the assessment: ‘You do know that you’re gonna get diagnosed with autism? Are you ready to hear that?’ I just didn’t know. I knew that there was something – the penny didn’t completely drop until I got diagnosed. It felt like a huge relief.
“Everything just made sense. And I stopped feeling so apologetic all the time. I always felt different at school, but I had never heard of autism then. It’s quite sad when I look back. I was misunderstood. No teacher ever asked why I didn’t want to go to class.
"I couldn’t do my exams – I remember hearing everyone’s pen scribbling and it felt so loud even though it was silent. I just burst into tears and left. I got told off and was expelled. I was constantly told I was being naughty or challenging. Unfortunately, that is quite common for autistic people.
“Going out for meals has always been a problem, too. I’d always make excuses and say: ‘I’ve eaten already,’ when I hadn’t. It was the taste, the smell, the colour, the texture, and the whole social side of it as well.
'Obsessed with becoming a mum and a wife'
Whereas now I can say: ‘I’ve got sensory issues around food. Can you please not put any sauce on it and keep it plain.’ It’s good that once you understand it, you know how to ask for help.”
Christine now realises that her autism is the reason behind her huge desire to settle down, because she was “copying” what she presumed was a typical family to appear “normal”.
“Masking [where people learn certain behaviours and suppress others to be more like people around them] is common in people with autism. That’s what I’ve always done, I’ve copied whatever situation.
"And when I met my husband, I was obsessed with becoming a mum and a wife. I wanted to be the typical wife that stays at home and cooks and cleans and raises children. And that, in my head, was the perfect mum and housewife.”
The BBC has commissioned Christine to make a second documentary – this time without her husband – called Christine McGuinness: The Secret World Of Autistic Women And Girls, investigating why it takes longer for females to be diagnosed with the disorder.
Her diagnosis has also helped Christine understand why she has always struggled to make friends. She didn’t have a hen do or any big birthday celebrations and she had barely any guests on her side at her wedding. She’s thrilled that she managed to bond with her fellow celeb teammates on The Games – so much so that she jetted off on her first holiday in three years to Croatia with footballer Chelcee Grimes, 30.
When I met my husband, I was obsessed with becoming a mum and a wife. I wanted to be the typical wife that stays at home and cooks and cleans and raises children.
Christine McGuinness
“Chelcee is my soul sister. Straight away from the day I met her, I just loved her. She’s a [fellow] scouser. She’s hilarious. And honestly, it was just the best time on the show. There was no bitchiness and everyone got on. It was perfect for me, because I struggle with people. We said: ‘We’ll go away after the show,’ not thinking we would, but then we actually did.
“I always thought I would travel lots, but then I realised I don’t like it. I got really uncomfortable with planes and not knowing what it would be like when I got there, so I just didn’t go away. Then lockdown happened and now I think, like everyone, I want to live a bit more. I had the best time in Croatia.”
Meanwhile, at home, Christine and Paddy recently sat down with their three children to talk openly about autism.
“We sat around the kitchen table playing with Lego and asked if they had heard of autism. And they mentioned some of the other children in school who have got autism. Leo put his hand up and said: ‘I am autistic.’ I said: ‘Yes, you are Leo.’ And then Penelope said: ‘I’m autistic.’
"So we didn’t even have to tell them – they already knew. We told them that Mummy was autistic, too, and what it means. We all high-fived at the end, then we joked: ‘Daddy’s not in our gang, because he’s not autistic and we are.’ It was really lovely.”
Christine admits the pandemic has set the kids back and has had a real impact on them – particularly her eldest daughter Penelope, who struggled with her mental health as a result.
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'Heartbreaking time'
“Penelope is a very sensitive little girl. She’s very emotional. She doesn’t understand her emotions very well. That’s something that we’ve had to try to teach her. When they opened the schools back up, her teacher wasn’t allowed to give her a cuddle when she was upset and she didn’t understand.
"They were in bubbles and not allowed to play with the friends they used to play with, so Penelope felt like: ‘She doesn’t like me any more.’ She took it very personally. And she said: ‘Mummy, I don’t want to live any more. I want to go to heaven.’ She doesn’t understand the severity of what she was saying, [but] obviously for a mum, that’s so worrying.
"The panic for me of: ‘What if she does do something, not understanding that that thing is forever?’ It was a heartbreaking time and probably one of the most difficult conversations I will ever have in my life.”
Her children’s diagnosis means that the family struggle away from routine, so they have only ever had one foreign family holiday, to Spain in 2019, which took a year to prepare for. Christine took the kids to an airfield every week to get used to the sound of planes, a play centre to walk in sand and a waterpark so they got to understand what a beach would be like.
All being well (and it was at the time of us going to press), Christine will jet off on her second family holiday, returning to Spain with Paddy and the kids this weekend.
“Everything is always slowly, slowly. It’s been over three years since we went on our first family holiday together. I keep looking at the airports [and potential delays] thinking: ‘Oh god, I don’t know if this is a good idea.’ With our children, if they had to sit on a plane and it was delayed and didn’t move for two hours, that would be awful. So we’re just keeping positive it’ll be OK.
If I didn’t have all that quiet time to myself, I might not have been where I am now. I try to always look on the positive side.
Christine McGuinness
"I want them to be able to go away with Mummy and Daddy and have a good time. I want them to be able to live life to the fullest and see the world.”
As well as being a devoted mum, Christine is trying to learn to prioritise herself more, too. “I’m trying to make time for myself, and I want to. It’s been difficult in the past with the children and not being able to just leave them with anyone. Now they are getting older, it is getting easier,” she says.
“I’m pushing myself a bit more and allowing other people to help, which I wouldn’t have years ago. I was the overly smothering mother – I would not let anybody change a nappy or give them a bottle. I was obsessed with doing absolutely everything.
"And it was just my way of being protective of these children that I loved, but now I don’t worry about saying to Patrick [Paddy]: ‘You need to have the kids today because I’m working.’
I know that they’ll be safe and looked after, whereas years ago, I’d have said: ‘I can’t do that, I’ll just stay at home.’
“There are times where I think: ‘I’ve really wasted a lot of years there.’ But then maybe that was just something I needed to do.
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"If I didn’t have all that quiet time to myself, I might not have been where I am now. I try to always look on the positive side. It’s sad that I didn’t celebrate life a bit more at the time, but I am now so I’ll make up for it.”
- Christine McGuinness: A Beautiful Nightmare (£8.99, Mirror Books) is out now.
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