LIFE'S LESSONS
I was fuming when I found my son had called one of his classmates fat and ugly, so taught him a lesson he won’t forget
A single mum who discovered her son had repeatedly branded a schoolmate "fat" and "ugly" in acid-tongued texts marched him round to the girl's house to give a grovelling apology in front of her parents.
Samm Jane, 32, was "fuming" when she received a call from her son's school on June 7th to inform her that Dave* had been cruelly bullying one of his classmates.
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Upon her 12 year old's return home, Samm was enraged to discover he'd labelled the girl a "c**'t", "t**t" and "b**ch", among various other foul-mouthed insults.
After finding out the victim's address, the full-time carer made her son spend some of his birthday money on flowers and chocolates as a way of making amends.
Once at the girl's front door, Samm said she forced Dave to apologise to the girl and her parents, who later commended Samm for being a "decent parent" and coming by to apologise.
The mum-of-five vowed that Dave will learn a lesson from the incident and confiscated his electronic devices for a week in the aftermath.
Since sharing the story to TikTok on June 8, Samm has received more than one million views, with thousands of parents commending her for disciplining her son.
The compliments moved the single mum, who insists she's trying to do her best to raise her boy to be a man and to learn to be respectful to women.
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Samm, from Nuneaton, Warwickshire, said: "I got a call from my son's school to let me know he'd been throwing pencils in class.
"Then the woman on the phone said: 'We don't know what's been said, but we're aware that Dave's been sending nasty text messages to one of the girls in his class.'
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"I asked who it was, but they couldn't say because of data protection. So I was sitting on this information for three hours until my son got home from school.
"I needed to know what he said. I never thought he'd be like this, I'd raised him to never disrespect a girl.
"I'm a female, I'm a single mum, he should respect me and everybody else around him.
"I took his phone and made him unlock it. He'd sent this girl texts saying 'I never want to see your ugly face in school. Your ugly face and fat body offend me.'
"She'd text him back saying 'Stop being horrible to me'. He'd sent voice notes as well going 'Urgh, you're disgusting.'
"I was shaking with anger. I was livid. I was like 'What are you playing at?' and my son goes 'She does my head in at school.'
"And I said 'I don't give a f**k if she does your head in at school. What gives you the right to speak to her like that?'
"I told him 'She's going to be looking in the mirror now and feeling so insecure'. I couldn't let it go.
"I got on the phone and I made a few calls. Everybody in my area knows where everybody lives, so I found out through one of my neighbours where this girl lives.
"I told Dave we were going around to apologise. Not only to the girl, but to her parents, to her aunts, to her uncles, to whoever was in that house."
From Dave's £100 birthday money haul, Samm took £10 and forced him to buy an apology gift.
She said: "I took him to the shop. I gave him £10 of his birthday money and told him to go into the shop to get some flowers and chocolates.
"I walked him down to the girl's house, and I was fuming. I knocked on the door and the girl answered.
"I asked if her parents were in, and she brought them to the door.
"I said: 'My son has something to say to your daughter', and he stands there going 'I'm sorry'. I made him speak up and repeat himself.
"I made him say what he was sorry for. The mum wasn't aware of it, the girl hadn't told her mum.
"The girl accepted the apology, he gave her the flowers and the chocolates. I said: 'He will never speak to you like that again'.
"I reassured the mum and dad that he wouldn't speak to anybody like that again. The mum thanked me, and she sent me a text message afterwards saying that I'd been really brave to go around.
I sat Dave down and explained how people kill themselves or self-harm because of what people say.
"I gave her my address and told her to come round if there were any problems so we could sort it out together."
Since the apology, Samm made sure that Dave understands the impact his words could have on others.
Samm said: "I sat Dave down and explained how people kill themselves or self-harm because of what people say.
"I couldn't believe he'd said these things. As punishment, I took his phone off him. He tried giving me money to get his phone back, but I said no.
"He had his laptop and PlayStation taken off him too. I want him to understand that what he did was wrong. I wanted him to know there were consequences for his actions.
"I'm raising a man. My son doesn't have that male role model so I have to teach him how to be a man and make sure he's respectful to people.
"As a single mum, I've tried to do my best by him. For him to disrespect a female, it feels like he is disrespecting me.
"I've always told him about body positivity, about how women come in different shapes and sizes. That's why I was so angry - why would he say all these things when I've told him to be respectful?
"He disappointed me. He's absolutely taken it on board since. The two of them are friends now, it just shows how forgiving and kind she is. She's a lovely girl.
"I was bullied when I was at school, I had to move. I didn't fit in with the other girls, I didn't have hair straighteners.
"My mum and dad were quite old fashioned, so I didn't get to have make-up or anything like that.
"I've always told my kids that it's okay not to fit in and it's great to be an individual."
Since sharing the story to TikTok, Samm has been flooded with supportive comments from fellow parents.
Samm said: "I only had friends on my TikTok when I first posted it. I just needed to get it out - I was like 'Is this kid real?'
"I wanted to share it so other people could see it and think 'I don't want my boy to be like that'. We've got to bring up the next generation.
"It'd be so much easier if parents taught their boys - and girls - to apologise and to make up.
"I was so shocked by the reaction. I got teary when I saw people complimenting my parenting. My phone was going mad for like three days.
"If a million people have seen that video, then a million parents can make a change."
Thousands of commenters applauded Samm's approach to parenting.
One TikTok user wrote: "Proper old school parenting, well done. You're a great mum and a great person."
Another commented: "Yes queen. If my boys ever do anything like this, I will be doing exactly the same!! So proud of you."
One supporter said: "As a teenage girl, you are a brilliant mum for that. Thank you for making him unlearn his ways, so many boys my age are so disrespectful," with a fellow supporter commenting: "Top tier parenting I respect you a lot."
FULL VIDEO TRANSCRIPT:
Samm: "Storytime on how my son, who's 11, 12 tomorrow, is still alive.
"Gets a phone call from his school yesterday. 'We've had some information that Dave's been sending text messages to one of his girl mates in his class.'
"So I'm like 'I'm gonna f**king deal with this s**t'. Wait for the little f**khead to come home.
"He opens the door, I say 'Oi! Give me your phone now and open it!'
"'What? What do you mean, mum?'
"'Give me your phone and unlock it now!'
"Proceeds to go through the phone, I'm going through the phone. I'm looking, I'm scrolling, I'm like 'Right, let's have a look'.
"Scroll down. This poor f**king girl - I'm not going to say her name - he's only messaged her the most harshest things you can say to any female.
"And I mean harsh. Calling her 'fat', calling her 'ugly', I was f**king livid. I was fuming mate, fuming!
"I said 'Where does she live?'. 'I don't know mum'. Right, I'll f**king find out, gets on the blower, finds out where this girl lives.
"Goes to the shop, buys some chocolates and some flowers, I storm him up to that house, and not only did I make my son apologise to her, but he apologised to her mum and her f**king dad.
"And I made it clear that he will never speak to a female like that again.
"Now I'm a single mum and raising a boy to be a man is quite difficult. But if there's one thing I've always said to my boys - because I have three of them, one's a baby.
"But if there's one thing I've always said, it's 'You f**king respect these women, you don't disrespect them'.
"So even though he's eleven years old and a kid, nothing he can say to me will justify what he said to this girl. Ever.
"Let's hope he's learnt his f**king lesson because I swear to God, on my dying breath, will I allow my boys to disrespect any f**king female.
";And this is the difference between this generation to the f**king last generation.
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"Because men nowadays ain't got no respect. And I swear, my f**king boys ain't gonna be these men. Nope! Nip that s**t in the bud, man."
* Name of child changed on request of mother.
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