I love blokes with ‘taches – I’ll celebrate ‘Have sex with a man with a moustache day’ EVERY day
ANNA ROBERTS, 37, is a journalist from Penge, South London.
She said: "Meeting my boyfriend for the first time, my sister sniggered and said what I was waiting to hear.
“Of course he’s got a ’tache.”
It’s no secret that since my early 30s I’ve been obsessed with fellas with facial fuzz.
My list of lads I’ve snogged runs deep into double figures (sorry, Mum and Dad) but it wasn’t until I got older that I realised there was something deeply sexy about a bloke with a furry upper lip.
And finally — finally — the celeb world is catching on with stars including Normal People’s Paul Mescal and Take That’s Mark Owen chucking away their razors in favour of a hairy upper lip.
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Even Harry Styles, a man who made his name in a teeny-bopper band, has been spotted sporting one.
Of course, the concept of fancying Mark Owen leaves my brain in turmoil — because I was always a Robbie Williams girl.
Aged nine, I would have sold all my Barbies for the chance of a date with him.
With his floppy hair and twinkly brown eyes, thoughts of him crooning A Million Love Songs on Top Of The Pops got me through my SATs exams in Year Six.
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But now, in a startling betrayal to my childhood self, I’ve found my heart racing not over relatively clean-shaven Robbie but Mark.
The idea that moustaches are hot is not new.
“Pornstaches” — thick, furry and fabulous — were all the rage in the Seventies.
Teamed with aviator sunglasses and shoulder-length sweeping hair, they looked absolutely amazing.
Meanwhile, Burt Reynolds wasn’t considered a sex symbol because of his acting credentials, but because of his knee-trembling facial hair.
And forget Matt Le Blanc’s Joey in Friends. It was Tom Selleck, when he played the love-interest of Monica (Courteney Cox) who got my pulse racing — now that was a real man with his lusciously bodied moustache.
An old boyfriend (of course he had facial hair, it’s the only reason we lasted so long) once made me watch the film Almost Famous.
I didn’t particularly want to — Gogglebox was on — but I quickly changed my mind when I realised just how fit all the men in it were.
Set in the Seventies, it tells the story of a band travelling the US and they all had those great ’tache/shoulder length hair-combos . . . dreamy.
For this article I Googled “sexy celebrities with moustaches” and an image came up with some ten out of ten man.
PROUD SUPPORTER
“Wow, I fancy him,” I thought, before clicking through and learning it was Brit actor Henry Cavill. Well, knock me down because, clean-shaven, the Superman star would be like Kryptonite to me — concrete proof (if needed) that facial hair is my miracle worker.
In my single days I was an avid user of all the dating apps: Hinge, Bumble, Tinder and some you’ve probably not even heard of.
Smoker, no, OAP, no, criminal conviction, no.
Unless . . . “Well, he has got a great moustache”.
I’ll forgo richer, more successful and funnier chaps for their poorer, scruffier and lazier counterparts, so long as the latter are sporting facial furniture.
The thing is, I don’t think I’m alone. Some of my best pals have partners who have great facial hair.
There’s even (on November 18) a “Have Sex With A Guy With A Moustache Day” which I am a proud supporter of — so much so that I celebrate it on other days too.
And there’s a scientific reason for it too, according to dating site Plenty Of Fish.
In a 2016 survey of 500 women in the States about how they felt about moustachioed men, 34 per cent of those ladies felt moustaches equal maturity.
Another 22 per cent said they made a bloke look masculine and another 26 per cent added fellas looked sexier with one.
So it seems ’taches are here to stay. And I for one am glad about it."
‘Not for me . . . itchy with pasty bits stuck in there'
MY mum always told me never to trust a man with a ’tache – and I never have.
It doesn’t mean that all hairy-lipped lads are wrong-’uns, but what are they hiding under there? Who are they on the run from?
Extreme, I know, but what some women find “mysterious” I just find suspicious.
Similar to a woman’s make-up, the big and bushy moustache on a bloke’s face is a distraction and makes them look completely different from who they really are.
Suspicions aside, it’s not like there’s soft, conditioned hair resting on the top lip.
They’re bristly, itchy and, let’s face it, most of the time there’s probably yesterday’s Greggs pasty lurking in there.
And let’s look at ’tache icons. Hercule Poirot, Borat, Charlie Chaplin – it’s not a list that’s filled with the world’s sexiest men, is it?
Why would anyone want to cop off with someone who resembles handlebar enthusiast Hulk Hogan?
Sorry to all the Hogan fans out there, but have you really, really thought about it?
Perhaps Paul Mescal is trying to shake off his awkward teenage character Connell in BBC hit Normal People, but he’s not fooling me with his new handlebars.
Listen up, lads, I get it. You’re trying out a new thing and hoping women will fall at your feet at the sight of your facial fuzz, but it’s highly unlikely.
The days of looking like a Seventies porn star are over, as are hipster looks of second skin jeans with more tattoos than skin and a ’tache that requires more maintenance than your partner’s hair.
And that’s another consequence of dating a man with a moustache, the upkeep.
Mirror-hogging, cluttering up your valuable beauty cabinet space with products for their fuzz and the off-cuts from their daily trims that manage to go absolutely everywhere
Or even worse they’re never available on a Saturday morning because they’re at the barber’s being robbed of ten quid for having a millimetre of hair cut off.
So if your man thinks about growing a moustache (fund-raising in Movember is an exception) warn him that you’ll be out of there faster than he can say no ’tache you.
Women give me phone numbers in shop...
Bryan McEleney, 40, is a commercial digital artist from Glasgow.
He said: "Opening my TikTok messages, I started to blush.
It was from a woman I’d never met complimenting me on my moustache.
She was from the US and said I looked “handsome and hot”.
For a guy who’s turned 40 this year, it’s a huge confidence boost — and I reckon it’s all down to my ’tache.
When I started growing my moustache in January this year, I never thought it would turn me into a bit of a woman magnet.
But it has — and I’ve even had ladies I don’t know offering me their number.
I used to be clean-shaven and after two days stubble would appear and I’d shave it.
During lockdown I let my hair grow and cut it at home in different styles.
It drove my then-long term partner — Lynne Williamson, who I broke up with in March 2021 — crazy.
Our two kids, Brandon, 17 and Alex, 11, thought my look was hilarious.
Me and Lynne have remained friends since the split and she encouraged me to grow a moustache.
It took me about two months to grow the handlebar.
It made me look slimmer, less puffy in the face and as a result I felt more confident.
‘FEEL LIKE A NEW MAN’
A few years ago I would never have considered a handlebar moustache, thinking I would look ridiculous.
I have also discovered that having a moustache takes time and effort.
I’ve had to invest in a moustache comb, conditioner and styling products.
The most amazing impact has been on my self-confidence.
Whenever I walk into a room people look and smile. It’s a conversation-starter and I feel like I am a new man.
Women who would never look at me when I didn’t have facial hair are suddenly smiling or giving me flirty looks.
I’ve had women pass me their number in the frozen foods section of the supermarket and at bars, saying they love facial hair.
Blokes love it, too — everyone wants to touch it. It makes me feel suave and slightly mysterious.
I tell any bloke, if they want a confidence boost follow Mark Owen and Paul Mescal’s lead and do what I did: Grow a mo’.
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It will boost your love life and 7 confidence.
- HIS ex Lynne, 39, says: “It makes him look sexy and there is definitely something rugged, and mysterious about men with ’taches. Who knew Bryan could look so hot?”
