I’m a couples therapist – the two key signs it’s time to end your relationship
ENDING a relationship is never an easy task, but if you're not happy then sometimes it just has to be done.
Writing in couples therapist Susanna Abse has revealed some warning signs that your relationships is on the rocks. However, these don't mean that it's certain to fail.
Feelings of uncertainty and unhappiness
Many people will experience feelings of uncertainty and unhappiness at some point in their relationship. These feelings certainly don’t mean that your relationship is doomed.
However, in the wake of these feelings miscommunications may develop. Susanna says these issues can be difficult to discuss with your partner: “Sharing that much uncertainty with a loved one is a very high-risk strategy as threats of abandonment have a habit of raising the emotional temperature between a couple to boiling point.”
Discussing any issues you have in your relationship though can help you work out if they can be fixed, or if you are perhaps just incompatible on certain things.
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Thoughts of leaving
Daydreams about up and leaving your partner may be something of warning sign, however Susanna says that many people have these thoughts sometimes, adding: “It can be difficult to acknowledge to yourself that thoughts of leaving are in your mind — the romantic ideal has us believing that being in love precludes such things.”
Similarly to feelings of uncertainty and happiness, this doesn’t necessarily mark the end of your relationship.
It can depend on just how often you’re having these thoughts. If you’re unhappy and think about breaking up with your partner everyday, that may be a sign that it’s time to act upon these fantasies.
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If you do decide to end your relationship, Susanna warns against immediately starting a new one. She says that this can be quite a common occurrence as it can cover any sense of loss the individual may feel.
She also adds: “Leaving your partner for someone else can be jumping out of the frying pan into the fire and it never makes a break-up easy. If you go, your partner is bound to be upset, but going straight to someone else’s bed can be extra wounding.”