I’m a working mum-of-three but I won’t give up my council house – I deserve it and I don’t care what people say
Council house tenants are “scum”, “benefit scroungers” and live in “grimey homes” – these are just some of the comments Jessica Saunders has received since revealing she lives in social housing.
But the mum-of-three, from Basingstoke, Hampshire, says she’s proud of where she lives and has no plans to give up her home for someone “needier”.
Married with two sons aged eight and five and a eight-month-old daughter, Jessica works in financial services and was shocked by calls on TikTok to give up her housing association property because she’s in a “good job”.
She tells Fabulous: “When I posted about living in social housing, it sparked a massive debate online.
“Some people openly say they think people in social housing are scum, dirty, live in grimey houses, and live off the benefits system. There’s some really narrow minded opinions out there.
“A lot of people seem to think social housing is only for those who are really in need and when you’re in a better position, you should give back your house.
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“The argument was ‘you’re keeping a house from somebody else who needs it, someone on the list you were once on’.
“My heart goes out to homeless people and I can’t believe how hard it must be, but that’s not the fault of the people occupying these properties.
“That’s on the government and the councils, they need to be building more affordable housing. People who say ‘you don’t need it, give it back’ need to expand their mindset.”
Jessica was given a council flat in 2012, at a time when she was struggling mentally and living in a women’s refuge.
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She later swapped to a three-bed house when she fell pregnant with her son, making this property her home for the past nine years.
Jessica says: “Someone who’s had a nice upbringing and lived at home with their parents while saving for a house isn’t going to understand the struggles of somebody like me.
“I’ve lived in a women’s refuge, had no money, had to study and work hard to get a good job and then work my way up the career ladder.
“We’ve been in this house a long time, we’ve made it our home, we’ve got lots of memories here.
“I’m not required to give it back just because I’m now working. I’ve got friends who are high up in their professions and still live in social housing.
“For me, it’s about stability. I don’t have £20,000 saved for a house deposit. Buying a property is not what it used to be in 1980, it’s a lot harder.
“I don’t want to rent privately with my kids, because it’s extortionate and I could be forced to move every two to three years by the landlord.
“If we could afford to buy, we would, but we’re not in a position to do that and the reality is I do love my home.
“I love where I live, I love my neighbours, we’ve got a lovely family home and I’m genuinely happy where I am.”
Jessica blogs about her life on TikTok page @modern_motherhood — where she’s racked up 57,000 followers thanks to her honest opinions over the past two years.
I don’t want to rent privately with my kids, because it’s extortionate and I could be forced to move every two to three years by the landlord.
She says: “I don’t ever get attacked personally, but if I put a controversial video out there — about social housing, childcare or the benefits system — you’re going to get divided opinions.
“I’ve read some comments and thought ‘woah’ but everyone’s entitled to their opinion. If the comments are really bad, I just block and delete them.
“I genuinely don’t care about the judgement, in fact I enjoy listening to people’s different opinions.
“TikTok has given me the confidence to say ‘I’m happy for you to think what you think and I’m happy living in my own little bubble’.
“I keep it real and make absolutely zero effort to look good for the camera. We live in a world where people portray lies about how they live and put a filtered version on Instagram. My followers love how refreshing and real I am.
“Others portray their amazing lives, lovely houses, great bodies and children who are ‘perfect’ all the time, on family days out in matching outfits.
“Seeing that puts so much pressure on us as mums. I know I do right by my children so I don’t put pressure on myself to keep up with society’s expectations anymore.
“I tell mums ‘don’t worry about the washing, leave it and spend time with your children. If you’re not feeling good today, give them crisps for breakfast, put the telly on’.
“It’s about letting mums know it’s OK to have those days and you’re not alone. Some days I make my kids scrambled eggs before school and others they eat biscuits as they’re walking out the door.
“My breastfeeding journey was traumatic and I felt so much pressure to keep going, when the reality is my daughter’s going to be eating McDonald’s at three. We need to give ourselves a break.”
TikTok has given me the confidence to say ‘I’m happy for you to think what you think and I’m happy living in my own little bubble'.
Jessica doesn’t follow any particular parenting technique. She explains: “Gentle parenting seems to be all the craze at the moment, and don’t get me wrong I do try.
“But the reality is I’ve got two boys aged five and eight and as anyone who’s got boys will know, they are physically aggressive towards each other 23 hours-a-day. A soft tone doesn’t always go with that.
“I would say I’m a very fair parent but I’m strict. I’ve got no routine with the baby, I just enjoy her, she eats and sleeps when she wants to.
“Whereas with the boys I felt like I’d already ‘failed’ in society’s eyes by being a young mum. I didn’t get to enjoy my first son being a baby, I was too consumed with what I ‘should’ be doing. Everything was by the book with him.
“My mindset was different before I had TikTok, I had anxiety, I’d been through depression, I would worry about everyone’s opinion.
“I lived on autopilot, thinking ‘the house has got to be tidy, the kids need to be immaculate, I’ve got to keep up this image’.
“It was draining. I felt like a robot. TikTok brought me into reality, it completely changed me as a person.
“People need to wake up and move forward. This isn’t 1930 anymore, you can’t expect a woman to work a 40-hour week, run a house, take care of two to three kids, have dinner on the table every night, keep up with washing and ironing, and still walk around with a smile on her face.
“We can’t do it all. I’m quite fortunate, my husband is very hands on. I have help in the house but there’s a lot of women who don’t.
“Some men think just because they’ve gone to work all day, they’re entitled to come home and be waited on hand-and-foot. While their wife has also done a day’s work, but now she’s flying around the house while they sit on their bum. That’s got to stop.
“I get so many messages of love and support from complete strangers through TikTok, which makes me feel good because they’ve been through the same things I have. I just want to support other mums.”
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People shouldn't get council houses for free
ELEEZA Nor-Rajah, 30, is a former retail assistant and lives in Croydon, South London, with her catering manager partner and their three children, aged nine, two and seven months.
“We are incredibly lucky in this country to have access to social housing. But the system is broken and I’m a victim of it.
People in crisis are forgotten — young families who can’t afford private rents and have no chance of getting on the housing ladder — while other people with two incomes chill in cheap council accommodation.
My partner has to work 12-hour shifts seven days a week, and we pay £1,400 a month for a private two-bedroom flat.
We can’t have a much-wanted fourth child. We can’t pay all our bills because our rent is so high.
Down the road, there are single people in three-bedroom houses and couples with great jobs paying £400 in rent because they have worked the system.
Everyone should have a fair crack at it, especially those in crisis. Councils need to build more homes and earmark them to help people get on the property ladder.
And “lifers” occupying rented council houses should be regularly means-tested. If I were in one, I’d welcome it.
There’s a housing crisis, with vulnerable people getting shoved into dodgy B&Bs because there are no council houses for them to go into.
And families like ours who desperately need more space are not being given a fair go. We’re drowning in debt because of private rental and the cost of living.
I can’t go back to work because the childcare costs for my kids would be over £1,000 a month.
I’ve been told by advice groups that due to demand where I live, and despite having three kids, we face a wait of up to 12 years to get social housing because we are already in private rental.
If I did get a property, I wouldn’t stay renting it for life as some do. I would rent it for three years cheaply and use that money to buy it at the discount rate councils offer to tenants.
Alternatively, if that house is not earmarked for sale to tenants, we would use the money we save to buy privately.
There should be a certain number of homes marked as starter houses for families who have three or four years to rent them, then they have to rent privately or buy the property.
It forces people to save and have goals — and not just splash on holidays and nice cars at taxpayers’ expense.
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People bragging about their amazing council houses, cheap rent and glam house makeovers make me cry when I can’t get a look-in.”
As told to Alley Einstein
TENANCY AND DISCOUNTS
THERE are three basic types of tenancy for UK council homes . . .
- Introductory: Refers to a 12-month trial period.
- Secure: You can live in the property for the rest of your life as long you do not break the conditions of the tenancy.
- Flexible: You have the tenancy for a fixed period. At the end, the council will decide whether to offer another flexible tenancy, a secure tenancy or not renew.
Those who have a secure tenancy have the right to buy their home at a discount which is calculated based on how long you’ve been a tenant for and varies between houses and flats, and where you live.
It has been reported that PM Boris Johnson plans to extend the right to buy to housing association tenants, offering renters discounts of up to 70 per cent, to help more young people get on the housing ladder.
An extra 2.5million households who rent from housing associations could be affected.
But some critics say it could exacerbate the housing crisis.
In last week’s Queen’s Speech, it was also announced that the Government plan to reform the social housing sector.
It could make all registered social housing providers follow a new regulatory regime, with landlords facing fines if tenants are found to live in substandard conditions.
