I’m a sleep expert, the Two Halves rule is the secret to getting your baby to sleep through the night
From tiny newborns to teens who won’t get up till lunchtime, we reveal the secrets to helping your child get better rest.
Sleep problems are a common issue for children of all ages.
HELP! WHY WON’T MY BABY SLEEP?
They will! In fact, newborns need 18 hours a day.
But sleep problems such as not settling or waking super-early can often be down to parents not setting up good bedroom habits, says Lisa Lewis, who runs sleep consultancy and is a certified sleep consultant with over 20 years’ experience as a nanny and night-nanny.
“Until the age of six weeks, babies can’t define the difference between day and night so I advise parents to go with the flow for the first three months,” she explains.
“After that, parents should think about the 24 hour clock in two halves — 12 hours for day and 12 for night.
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“Swedish scientists have said that babies’ night-time sleep is dramatically improved by having some outdoor time between 12pm and 4pm.
“The hormone melatonin, which makes us sleepy, usually kicks in around 6pm so you need to respect that. I’m constantly seeing babies and young children being dragged around shops at night.
“It’s not fair on them — babies should be in bed by 7pm.”
IS WINDING DOWN BEFORE BED IMPORTANT FOR BABIES?
Definitely, says Lisa — and it’s all about creating a calming environment.
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“Babies are never too young for books and the sound of your voice reading aloud will relax them. Dim the lights and turn off all screens. The less stimulation, the better, and keep the room at 16-20°C,” she says.
“Blackout blinds can help, however some parents go too far, taping up the blinds to the windows so that no light can enter the room, but our bodies need natural light to know when to wake up.
“Once you’ve given your baby a cuddle, place them in the cot on their backs and let just them settle. Some parents can’t stand to leave their child to cry, but babies will often cry when they’re removed from a cuddle.
“Try not to pick them up, but if you want to soothe them, stroke their hand or foot. These become identifiable sleep cues, so the baby knows to settle.
“We are by nature creatures of habit so doing the same routine every night really helps. Children do not like chaos and will react to consistent, calming routines.”
HOW CAN I TELL IF MY BABY IS CRYING BECAUSE OF SICKNESS?
“You can usually tell by the pitch of their cry,” says Lisa. “A pained cry will be higher and more constant, in which case you need to check if they have a temperature or are sick.
“But if it’s just a case of tired crying, parents must stop feeling guilty for putting babies down and having some time apart — otherwise they’ll lose their sanity.”
If your child is having disturbed sleep due to teething, Lisa recommends giving them some extra fluid and medication before bedtime, but otherwise keeping their routine the same.
We are by nature creatures of habit so doing the same routine every night really helps. Children do not like chaos and will react to consistent, calming routines.
Lisa Lewis, who runs sleep consultancy Sshhhh.co.uk
WHAT’S THE BEST BEDTIME ROUTINE FOR TODDLERS?
“Once a child has dropped their daytime sleep — usually aged two or three — parents can find the lack of spare time exhausting, but the child should be more tired in the evening,” explains Lisa.
“Stick as closely to your bedtime routine each night as possible, winding down for the last hour and no screens, as the blue light can trick kids’ brains into thinking it’s daylight.
“Do calming activities such as jigsaws or reading, but no running around and creating adrenalin, which can prevent sleep.”
Lisa also recommends sleep soothers like Sweet Dreamers Ewan the Sheep, a cuddly toy that mimics the womb by giving off small waves of noise and a soft pink glow, and night lights such as one of the various white cloud LEDs, which can help your child feel secure, and can also be used as a sleep cue.
“Try a reward chart with stickers and the offer of a toy at the end of it. Allowing children to be in control also helps. Let them choose three books and three toys to take to bed, as well as which pyjamas they want to wear,” Lisa suggests.
“Try some magic, too. Add some glitter to a spray water bottle to get rid of any monsters or any excuse they come up with as to why they can’t go to bed.”
WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT MY CHILD GETTING OUT OF BED CONSTANTLY?
“Good bedtime routines are still key between toddler and teen years for getting them to go to bed without a fuss and then sleeping through the night,” says Lisa.
“For children who keep getting up, lead them back to bed. Don’t feel guilty, the only place for children at night is to be in their own bed. Explain what you are doing, as in my experience you get more compliance this way.
“Each time they escape, lead them back to bed with little fuss or attention. It may take hours, it may take a few nights, but it will work if you stay consistent.”
Stick as closely to your bedtime routine each night as possible, winding down for the last hour and no screens, as the blue light can trick kids’ brains into thinking it’s daylight
Lisa Lewis
Lisa also recommends pre-bedtime food that will help them sleep, such as wholegrain cereals or porridge without sugar, peanut butter on wholegrain toast, or foods rich in vitamin B6 such as tuna or salmon.
“A banana smoothie is full of potassium, which is a muscle relaxant so it’s great as an evening drink,” she adds.
Got a child who always gets up at the crack of dawn? Experts say that by the age of seven, you can often tell whether you’re going to be a morning person or a night person, though this does tend to change later in life.
“Sadly, for now, there is not much you can do about it,” says Lisa. “You just need to respect their body clock.”
WHY IS MY TEENAGER’S SLEEP SO TERRIBLE?
“The brain and the body go through so many changes during puberty that sleep becomes essential, but research shows that many teens are getting far less than they should,” says Lisa.
“Most teenagers need around 8-10 hours, but many are spending hours on phones or games and it’s affecting their sleep.
“Encouraging teenagers to get off their gadgets, ideally two hours before bedtime, is the best thing you can do, but that’s never easy.
“Don’t fight with them about it, as they’ll just get more agitated. Try a reward system — if they come off their screens early, they can have more time at the weekend. Teenagers respond to bribery as much as toddlers!”
Making sure they are organised with their homework and are doing it as soon as they get in from school can also help, Lisa explains.
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“Teenagers are under so much pressure today so encourage them to talk about any worries, because anxiety may also affect their sleep pattern,” she advises.
“As with younger children, give them some control. Ask what they want and see how you can compromise. It’s better negotiating than just saying ‘no’. They will feel more adult and respected this way.”