I was skinny-shamed because a secret condition left me so thin my bones stuck out – I looked disgusting, says Emma McVey
THE day she married former Geordie Shore star Gaz Beadle, Emma McVey looked a picture of happiness.
But behind the beaming smiles, the 29-year-old model and influencer was silently suffering with symptoms of ulcerative colitis, an inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), which she hid from everyone — including her groom.
Three weeks before tying the knot at a lavish ceremony at Merrydale Manor in Cheshire in July last year, Emma began experiencing abdominal cramps and rectal bleeding. By her wedding day, she was also struggling with exhaustion.
“I was so poorly, but I put on a brave face,” recalls Emma, who was also awaiting surgery to repair three holes in her heart.
“With the wedding approaching, I tried to put it to the back of my mind. I didn’t confide in Gary as I didn’t want to worry him. The exhaustion was the worst part, but I put that down to my heart problems. On my wedding day, I was in bed by 10pm.”
Emma — who started dating Gaz, 33, in August 2016 and has two children with him — Chester, four, and two-year-old Primrose — finally confided in her new husband a few weeks later, when her symptoms worsened.
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“I let it get really bad,” she says. “My bones were sticking out, I looked disgusting and I had no energy.”
At the end of August 2021, Emma went to her doctor, but blood tests revealed nothing. After two more inconclusive GP visits, she became so weak she could barely stand, so took herself to A&E, where she was diagnosed with colitis — which causes inflammation and ulcers in the digestive tract — and admitted for six days of treatment.
Emma’s father Carl, 53, also has colitis, while brother Ricky, 30, suffers from Crohn’s disease — another long-term IBD.
Here, she exclusively opens up about the impact her condition has had on her mental health, why her third baby dreams are on hold and the true reason why she and Gaz said “I do”.
You’ve really been through the mill recently, Emma. How are you feeling?
The past year has been a whirlwind. I’m still trying to get my head around this latest health issue. Two weeks ago, I had another flare-up — I lose a lot of blood and feel really tired — so I’ve recently had my medication doubled and steroids reintroduced.
Has colitis damaged your mental health?
I did lose a lot of confidence. One health issue after another gets you down and I was so thin, my face looked gaunt, which made me feel insecure.
People on social media were saying: “You need to gain weight,” and: “Just eat!” I’ve not been trying to lose weight to look a certain way, it’s because of a medical problem.
I’ve always been thin-shamed, but this is my opportunity to shift the debate to health, not looks.
Why are you speaking out about it now?
Colitis is an awkward topic. Some people end up having surgery and stoma bags fitted to drain waste. I get messages from people saying they’ve done it and never looked back, so I’ll judge where I am in a couple of years.
It’s common for sufferers to end up depressed, because living with a long-term condition like colitis can take a considerable toll on your mental wellbeing, and the stigma means people often don’t feel comfortable speaking out. I don’t want to hide and pretend this isn’t happening.
What causes the flare-ups?
I have to stick to bland foods — nothing spicy, greasy or high in fibre. Cheese is bad for me, so I’m pretty much dairy-free these days. Stress makes it worse, too.
When did you find out about the holes in your heart?
I only realised there was a problem after having Primrose. In recent years, I’ve had seizures, I’ve fainted and I was diagnosed with epilepsy, but the doctors never knew why it was happening.
During my pregnancies, symptoms gradually got worse, then when Primrose was born in December 2019, I fainted several times in the space of a week.
Blood tests revealed nothing, but eventually, in February 2021, they fitted me with a heart monitor. I had an echocardiogram [a scan of the heart and blood vessels] and they told me I had three holes in my heart and my condition was severe.
I got really bad anxiety then, and I think stress brought on the colitis. Within six months, we’d got married, moved house and I’d found out I needed heart surgery!
How does it affect you?
I get dizzy and faint, so I can’t do sport or exercise. I get out of breath just going up the stairs — I feel like an 80 year old!
What’s the latest on your surgery?
It was meant to happen last November, but it was postponed because of my colitis.
Steroids can lead to bone loss and breakage, and because my bones need to fuse back together after surgery, we have to get the colitis under control first.
I hope in the long run to control it with diet and lifestyle, rather than medication.
How much of a support has Gaz been?
He’s been good, but it’s such a hard thing for people to understand when you’re not going through it, because from the outside, there’s nothing to see. I’m guilty of that, too.
When my brother and I were younger, I’d be like: “Oh, here we go, he needs the toilet again!”
With Gaz, I’m lucky I’ve got a great support system around me. It was important for the kids to have their dad around while I was going through this.
I can’t imagine what it must be like for single mums.
Do you want more kids?
Doctors say they don’t know how I got through the C-section with Primrose, because of the strain it put on my heart.
They’ve now told me I can’t entertain getting pregnant until after my surgery, and it depends if the surgeons find anything else wrong when they go in.
I’m hoping that when I’m well again, pregnancy will be possible if I’m well-monitored.
Is it hard to plan ahead with all these health issues?
I just take things day by day. Before we knew about my heart, we were planning to move to Dubai, then my health deteriorated and those plans were cancelled. With everything happening, I want to be close to family.
Has being married changed your life?
No! We got married because we wanted us all to have the same name. We already had a mortgage and two kids, so marriage just brought us together as a family.
You’ve faced trolling on social media. Have you ever felt like ditching it?
So much good comes from social media. For example, speaking to people on Instagram has really helped me this past year. And I hope I’m helping others, so you’ve just got to brush the bad off.
Though in the past, I have said that if it wasn’t for my work, I wouldn’t be on social media. The criticism can be exhausting.
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With everything going on in the world, we all just need to be kinder to each other. Life really is too short.
- For information and support, contact Crohn’s & Colitis UK — visit or call 0300 2225700.
