I’m a sleep expert – here’s how to maximise rest with a baby and why rocking them to sleep could be a huge error
THEY say you don't know the meaning of the word 'tired' until you have kids, and the first couple of months with a newborn can be particularly tough.
Feeling exhausted and looking after a little one - or in some cases like this mum, a little two - can feel stressful, especially if you're not sure on the best routine to instil when it comes to naps and bedtime.
Here, Dr Nikki Ramskill, child sleep specialist and GP at digital healthcare provider , provides her top tips to maximising sleep - for both you and your baby...
Prepare to be unprepared - at least to start
The first few weeks with a newborn can feel daunting, and they can be unpredictable - but it's important to remember it won't last forever.
Nikki explains: "Before your baby’s wake/sleep cycle is established they will sleep a lot, but can also wake at any hour, so it’s important to plan for the first few weeks when you can expect your sleep to be very disrupted.
"Think about how you will cope with less sleep than usual.
"Remember that it will get better. A baby's sleep cycle should be established after about three months, when the sleep/wake cycle will at least be more predictable.
"This should give you a better night’s rest."
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The power of naps
An obvious, but a vital tip - embrace naps.
Nikki says: "A short nap doesn’t replace the loss of a full night's sleep.
However, taking short power naps throughout the day when your baby naps can be really helpful to improve your mood and improve alertness.
"Also, learn to say no to things - it’s a good idea to minimise other responsibilities, especially for the first three months.
"Don’t be afraid to ask others to help - other parents will understand."
When it comes to baby, establishing a bed time routine once they're old enough is key.
Nikki says: "Creating a consistent and predictable bedtime routine helps to gradually teach your baby that it’s time to sleep - by reinforcing babies’ natural circadian rhythms, it helps them to differentiate between day and night.
"You should aim to introduce a positive and calming routine that begins at the same time each evening and lasts around 20 minutes.
"Remember that consistency facilitates comfort.
"This can include a warm bath, a gentle massage, a change into night clothes with a clean nappy, a bedtime story or lullaby and a cuddle before putting your baby into bed.
"Some studies have shown that gentle baby massage can help to promote the release of melatonin, the hormone that helps us to regulate our circadian rhythm and synchronises our sleep-wake cycle with night and day.
"Remember that not all babies enjoy the same activities in their bedtime routine, so look for cues to find out what has a calming and positive effect on your baby and stick to these."
'Don't let baby become overtired before naps'
While newborns can be unpredictable in their patterns, the older they get the easier it becomes to create a routine, which can also then be applied to naps.
Nikki explains: "From around three months old when some babies start to develop a more predictable daytime nap pattern, it can be helpful to start introducing a nap routine.
"Like a bedtime routine, consistency is key - try to plan your baby’s naps at the same time and follow the same routine each day, this could be a shortened version of your baby’s bedtime routine, such as a cuddle and story before putting them down for a nap.
"Where possible, put your baby down for a nap in the same place that he or she sleeps at night, this will help them to associate it with going to sleep.
"Try not to let your baby become overtired before putting them down for a nap, you can look for cues to help you determine the right time such as yawning and rubbing the eyes.
"Many babies' sleep signals will vary so keeping a diary over a couple of weeks can help you to identify your baby’s cues and plan nap times accordingly."
Avoid rocking or bouncing them to sleep
Newborns often need help getting to sleep but from around four months old, you can start putting your baby to bed when they are drowsy, but still awake.
Nikki says: "This helps your infant to learn how to fall asleep on their own and helps your baby to fall back to sleep in the night on their own, providing they haven’t woken because they are hungry or poorly."
While routine is key, try to avoid any instilling any activity that they will associate with sleep that may exhaust you in the process as you could create an issue for yourself.
Nikki says: "If you always rock or bounce your baby to sleep, it can become a sleep association, meaning that every time your baby wakes, they will be expecting you to repeat the same exercise until they fall back to sleep.
"This can be exhausting for you if your baby wakes multiple times through the night."
Allow time to settle
Like teaching your baby to go to sleep on their own, giving them time to settle when they wake during the night before rushing in is important, and key to you getting some much-needed sleep too.
Nikki says: "Babies, like us, will stir and wake throughout the night - as long as it's not feed time or your baby is unwell, it is ok to leave your baby to self settle for short periods of time.
"You should find that the amount of time it takes them to fall back to sleep reduces over time since they are not reliant upon you to rush in and rock them back to sleep.
"The same applies at bedtime and naptime - once you have laid your baby down in bed to go to sleep, don’t rush straight back in if they begin to cry.
"Allow some time for them to learn how to self-soothe.
"There are many different self-soothing techniques, from verbal reassurance check-ins to the parental presence technique.
"Do your research taking into consideration your baby’s age, or enlist the help of a professional to choose one that you feel comfortable with and ensure that all caregivers are onboard to remain consistent."
Differentiate between day and night
Helping your baby to differentiate between night and day can help to improve your baby’s sleeping patterns.
Nikki says: "Babies aren’t born with body clocks, so they don’t know that nighttime is for sleeping.
"Gradually though, influenced by exposure to daylight, they will start to develop their own circadian rhythm.
"You can help to teach your baby the difference between day and night by making the two different experiences.
"During the day, try to go out into the light and fresh air for a walk.
"Like us, being exposed to natural light during the day helps to regulate our baby’s body clock which helps them to sleep at night.
"Don’t try to be too quiet in the day, even when your baby is napping - keep the radio on and keep your voice to a normal volume.
"Encourage lots of playtime and interactions with your baby.
"At night, try to create a much more quiet environment and block out any bright lights or natural light, particularly in the summer months when it doesn’t get dark until late.
"Following your calming bedtime routine, keeping your voice and external noise low and avoiding any stimulating activity will help to provide your baby with cues that night time is for winding down and sleeping."
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Additionally, if your little one is scared of the dark, bedtime can also feel like a struggle.
Here, Dr Nikki provides her tips for parents of children that are scared of the dark.
