Losing my baby turned out to be the best gift – now I have visions & help other parents connect with their ‘angel’ kids
WHEN mum Debra Kilby lost her daughter 16 weeks into her pregnancy, she was devastated.
But six weeks after baby Rosa’s funeral, Debra had a vision which changed her life.
Debra says: "Losing my daughter Rosa at 16 weeks of pregnancy has been the greatest gift I’ve ever received.
"Of course, at the time this was as far from what I was feeling as you can possibly imagine."
Now a trained counsellor and baby medium, she has gone on to help hundreds of mums from all over the world connect with and ‘see’ their babies like she did with her daughter.
Debra, 51, from Tooting, south London, discovered she was pregnant with Rosa in August 2010.
She and husband, Lee, 44, a mental health support worker, were over-the-moon at what they hoped would be their rainbow baby.
They had their first child, Max, in 2007, but suffered three miscarriages afterwards.
Debra says: "I fell pregnant nine months after Max came along, which was something of a surprise but welcomed.
"We felt we could conquer all the practicalities and it was great they would be so close in age."
But a week before the 12-week scan, Debra started to bleed and was rushed into hospital.
She says: "That was my first experience of miscarriage and the overwhelming helplessness and loss of my little one. My failure.
"I didn’t ask for help and I didn’t allow myself the time or the space to grieve and acknowledge my hurt and disappointment."
The following two pregnancies lasted just eight and twelve weeks.
The vision that changed everything
Six weeks after the funeral, Debra heard Rosa tell her "Mummy, everything's going to be okay."
This vision changed the course of Debra's life.
Debra says: "I just felt the most incredible sense of calm, like I’d been released. There were waves of amazingness and love flowing through my body.
"It was then I knew I had to help other mums going through the same ordeal I had.
"I quit my job as a media manager for the charity I worked for and enrolled on a two-year course at the Holistic Healing College in south London, studying counselling, meditation, EFT and a whole other raft of skills I could use."
Drawing on her ability to connect to Rosa's energy, she became a spiritual guide and energy healer.
She says: "The babies are still here, just in a different form. Their soul essence is around.
"The babies have birthed into another realm and they will show themselves as a toddler, you will see them how they want to be seen. You know your baby is okay and isn’t angry at you."
Debra says Lee thought she was "losing her marbles" at first but "he could see how this was helping me."
Now she finds it "totally normal" to connect with spirits.
'I felt all those babies' spirits'
She even had a vision of their son Sam, now nine, before she fell pregnant with him.
Debra says: "He just came to me. Rosa had let his happen. She had allowed me to find the space in my heart for Sam."
On a trip to a retreat in Ireland, Debra visited a mother and baby home where ‘disgraced’ Catholic mums were sent to live with their illegitimate babies.
She says: "I immediately felt all those babies’ spirits, their energy was still in the ground, burdened with all their trauma. They wanted to be free, so with my mentor we performed a ceremony to help them."
After that, Debra decided to set up her own practice to help parents connect with the babies they've lost.
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Debra says: "Invariably, like me, it helps them heal and also move on to conceive and carry a baby full term.
"In the last five years I’ve helped hundreds of mums from all over the world – from teachers, to lawyers, to personal trainers. It’s the most rewarding and fulfilling job I could ever imagine and I feel nothing but blessed to have found my calling."