What your garden REALLY says about you and it’s bad news if you’re into fake grass
WE love our gardens and have spent £16billion sprucing up outdoor spaces over the past year.
But what do our lawns say about us?
While many are ditching the mower in favour of the #WildGarden look popular on Instagram, others are turning to the neatness of fake grass.
Psychologist Emma Kenny and etiquette expert William Hanson tell Claire Dunwell what your lawn means.
ASTRO-TURF: YOU'RE LAZY
ASTROTURF sales have rocketed by 60 per cent in the last year and a poll by artificial grass brand LazyLawn revealed 73 per cent of us say the main benefit is having a neat and tidy lawn.
But William says: “Astroturf is Instagrammable but awful, and unless you have an allergy to grass, you are super lazy if you have it. Astroturf is for someone who doesn’t like spending time outdoors.
"If that’s you then why buy a house with an outdoor space in the first place?”
Emma suggests that scrapping turf for plastic – which drives bugs and other wildlife from a garden – means you are ruthless.
She says: “While others think you are a fantastic planner, you let other people take the strain for you. Your mantra is ‘fake it until you make it’. If there is a shortcut to success, you’ll find it.”
BROWN PATCHES: YOU LOVE LIFE
FROM fungus to using the wrong type of fertiliser, there are many causes of dried-out spots on the lawn, which are a bugbear for grass lovers.
Leaving anything on a lawn for long periods, such as abandoned toys or deflated old paddling pools, can also lead grass to dry out – but you couldn’t care less, apparently.
Emma says: “If your green area is looking worse for wear, you are all for living life.
Astroturf is Instagrammable but awful, and unless you have an allergy to grass, you are super lazy if you have it.
William
“You don’t care about other people’s opinions and refuse to bow down to pressure when others try to judge.
“At times you can come across as bombastic, but you are loyal and com-passionate too.”
CURVED BORDERS: CONTROL FREAK
WHEN it comes to the edges around your lawn, straight lines don’t cut it.
You’re all about the curves, which is a nod to how you like to be in control.
Emma says: “While you appear to go with the flow, beneath the surface lies a control freak.
“You love the finer things in life but come across free and easy to avoid being arrogant. You have high standards and aren’t afraid of cutting people from your life.”
And William says a blended border shouts sophistication.
He adds: “A grass which blends almost seamlessly into the flowers and plants that surround the lawn means you have class.
“One which looks like you have been round with the nail scissors is tacky.”
WILD LAWN: YUMMY MUMMY
ALMOST 70 per cent of green-fingered Brits buy food to bring wildlife into their gardens, according to a survey by Wyevale Garden Centres.
And wild lawns, which are a mix of wildflowers and long grasses, are a haven for bees and butterflies – a key part of the food chain.
But while some might let their grass run wild for environmental reasons, William believes others do it as a token gesture.
He says: “Wild meadows should be left to multi- hectare fields because a small patch of wild grass in a back garden in Borehamwood isn’t going to do much for the environment.
“Especially when you’re a yummy mummy driving three kids round in a fuel-guzzling four-by-four.”
WEED INFESTED: YOU'RE A SLOB
IF you have let your lawns become overrun with weeds or moss, then that does not speak well of you.
William says: “You are a slob with no aspirations at all. That’s your decision, but don’t let your lawn make it look like squatters are living in the house.
You don’t need to be a professional to pull out a weed. And if your lawn is overrun, people will question your interior.
Don’t let your lawn make it look like squatters are living in the house.
William
“First impressions are everything and if you don’t care about what the outside looks like, then it’s likely to be the same on the inside.
But Emma believes this is a symbol of your spontaneity and adds: “You don’t get bogged down by convention. People feel the warmth of your personality.”
IF YOU DON'T HAVE A LAWN...
NOT everyone has a luscious lawn. So what if you bring the outdoors in, with flower boxes on your windowsill?
Emma says: “You are welcoming to everyone and have a sunny nature. But your standards are high and you expect those around you to behave respectfully.”
As for hanging baskets, William says: “They’re awful because they’re not natural.”
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And house plants? William says: “You shouldn’t walk in and think you’re in Kew Gardens. One or two is enough.”
Fake plants can look cheerful but Emma says: “You are known for bargain-basement behaviour and take pride in knowing you can fake it until you make it in life.”
Make your garden glow
GET CUTTING: Mow the grass once a week in the summer and once a fortnight during the rest of the year. This will encourage the roots to spread which will help keep weeds at bay.
DON’T OVERWATER: It’s important to water your grass, especially if it’s in the early stages of growth, but going overboard will cause the grass to root shallowly, which can affect growth.
LET THE SOIL BREATHE: Are there patches in your lawn where the grass doesn’t grow? Your soil may be compacted. Push a garden fork about 10cm deep into the ground every 10cm or so and gently rock back and forth.
AVOID CHEMICAL WEEDKILLER: They are often expensive and don’t improve the health of your grass. Instead, mix together 1 litre of white vinegar, 3 tbsp of salt and 3 tbsp of washing-up liquid. Voila!
FEED YOUR LAWN: When the weatherman predicts rain, apply fertiliser to the grass, which will be washed down into the roots.