Parenting expert shares 6 failsafe ways to stop your kids fighting & help them get on for good
SIBLINGS are bound to fight at one point or another, but a parenting expert thinks she’s cracked the code on how to stop them arguing for good.
Laura Erskine, a mum-of-three and spokesperson for the in Ireland, revealed to the tips and tricks she uses to ensure her kids get along.
Teaching children how to resolve conflicts at a young age is a really useful and important skill for them to learn.
She revealed the six simple steps parents can do to make nip the bickering and fighting in the bud.
1. Prevention
Laura reveals that it’s all about prevention – making sure you stop your children from fighting in the first place.
She says that noticing and praising good sibling behaviour, or rewarding it at times, will encourage a more positive relationship between your children.
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This is really important as it will allow the sibling bond to grow into a healthy adult friendship.
2. Don’t compare
Some siblings are the mirror image of each other, some are polar opposites.
They each have their own personalities and it’s important that, as a parent, you celebrate their differences.
Comparing siblings has the potential to cause jealousy and instil the idea that they’ll never be as good as their brother or sister.
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3. Fairness
Laura says there is a big difference between treating your children equally and being fair.
It’s important to establish with your children that being fair doesn’t mean they are treated the same way at the same time.
Differences in age might have an effect on the varying privileges a child receives.
She points out that if children feel something is unfair, it’s important to listen and understand how they’re feeling – while you explain to them your rationale.
4. Get involved
If an argument or fight starts to brew, you may need to step in to diffuse the situation.
Laura says it’s important to remain calm and imperative to not take sides.
Giving your children a time out and creating space is a good way to diffuse tension.
Once your children are calm, think about revising the issue to resolve it.
It’s important to allow each sibling to be and feel heard, before trying to work out a solution.
Get each child to acknowledge and understand the impact of their actions on each other and apologise.
5. Solve the problem
By starting a conversation with general statements that summarise the issue, you should take account with both points of view.
Brainstorming ideas about how the issue can be resolved as a group is a good way to start.
Collaboration is key to resolving any conflict – so make sure you weight up the pros and cons of any solution.
6. Asking for help
Sometimes a fight can go too far and for long periods of time.
Laura says that if this aggressive behaviour continues, it might be time to seek help.
She says to start by talking to your child’s GP who will be able to recommend what course of action you could take – either counselling or family therapy.
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They could also help identify if there is an underlying medical condition, which might be contributing to their behaviour.
The expert says it’s important that parents get the support they need if they’re feeling overwhelmed.
