The twelve ways to pleasure a woman from tantric sex to talking dirty
BLOKES can get the, er, hump if they feel like a flop in bed.
But the good news is they are not shy at learning how to turn on their woman – and there is help out there.
Radio 4’s recent Woman’s Hour feature on female orgasm captivated many men eager to up their game.
It discussed research, revealed in The Sun last month, on four sex techniques – angling, pairing, rocking and shallowing – which help bring a woman to climax.
More than a quarter of men suffer from sexual performance anxiety and it can cause erectile dysfunction.
Many want help but are afraid to ask for it. Some also believe, wrongly, that being well endowed is key to performing like a god between the sheets.
Seventy-five per cent of women will not hit the heights from penetrative sex alone, so there needs to be more education to help guys get them over the line.
GEORGETTE CULLEY shares 12 easy ways to thrill your partner in bed – and some brave men and women reveal what they have learned from the “fourgasm” guide to passion.
TEASE TO PLEASE: Kiss, nibble and suck your lover all over their body to build excitement and increase chances of orgasm. Our pleasure hormones are higher during anticipation of pleasure rather than when we receive it. So slowly build tension and she will be putty in your hands.
BLOW HOT KISSES: This will send those imagination and hormone levels, soaring. You do not need to touch your partner to arouse them.
'Hit the G-spot'
MUM-of-three Amanda Dowdall, 33, and husband Mike, also 33, a tattoo shop owner, from Manchester, spent the weekend trying out the fourgasm positions – with great success.
She says: “Shallowing was a real eye-opener. I’ve always presumed going deep was the way to hit the G-spot, but less was definitely more and I had a really intense orgasm.”
Mike says: “Her pleasure is paramount to me but like most men it can be hard knowing if you are hitting the spot. These tips have given me a lot more confidence in the bedroom.”
EDGING: Bring them to the brink of orgasm, then stop, before slowly restarting. It leads to a longer, more satisfying climax. Amen to that.
HALF HOUR OF FOREPLAY: As three out of four women do not orgasm from penetrative sex alone, it is vital to increase your build-up. There is no rule for how long you should spend — but if you have time, dedicate 30 minutes to warming up your lover.
TALK DIRTY: This can arouse women to the point of orgasm, so do not forget to turn on her brain too. Sexy whispers, moans and naughty chat stimulate the amygdala — the emotional area of the brain associated with pleasure.
EXPLORE EROGENOUS ZONES: Do not be afraid to seek out these parts of the body with your hands — or better, tongue. A female’s pleasure points are her neck, shoulders, ears, lower tummy, inner thighs, behind the knees, bum and feet — yes, really.
'It's now great'
PERSONAL assistant Sarah Burton was no stranger to the secrets of fourgasm.
Sarah, 39, from Bolton, who is also single, says: “I swear by these sex techniques. I’ve been doing them my whole adult life but didn’t have a name for them.
“It’s now great to finally be able to tell men what you want in bed.”
PLAY FOOTSIE: You do not have to have a foot fetish to enjoy this. Sucking toes can be super-pleasurable because there are a ton of nerve endings there. Just make sure she showers first.
TAKE YOUR TIME: On average, it takes a man two to ten minutes to orgasm and a woman 16 to 20. If you want to become a sex god, the worst thing you can do is rush her. Slow and steady wins the race.
MIRROR MOVES: Some presume it is only men who are visual creatures, but women are just as turned on by what they see. Set up a mirror next to the bed or invest in a big, mirrored wardrobe. Angle your-selves so she can see what is going on. The best positions for this are girl-on-top and doggy style.
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LISTEN AND LEARN: A third of women are afraid to ask for what they want in bed. So instigate the conversation casually. If you are too shy to do it in person, send a sext or play a sexy game like truth or dare. Do not laugh at her desires or fanta-sies and do not be offended if she tells you something she does not like.
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EXPLORE TANTRIC SEX: A great way to bring yourself closer to your partner and increase orgasm intensity. Face one another lying down and look into each other’s eyes. Synchronise your breathing, slowly move your hands around her body and gently hold her breasts or other sensitive parts. Practise for ten minutes a day.
EROTIC KISSING: Do not under-estimate the power of a snog. But shave and brush your teeth first. Hold her close and synchronise your heartbeat. Kiss slowly and build the pace before moving on to her neck.
Those four techniques she'll say 'yesss' to
ANGLING: No, not fishing. This sex technique involves the woman rotating, raising or lowering the pelvis.
SHALLOWING: She controls the angle and depth of penetration – preferably not too deep.
ROCKING: With woman on top, or in reverse cowgirl position.
PAIRING: Involves adding a helping hand, or maybe a sex toy, for extra stimulation during sex.