I’m a single mum-of-two and couldn’t deal with the ‘mental load’ – so I hired a personal assistant
A SINGLE mum-of-two who felt like she was 'drowning' hired a personal assistant to help around the house.
Donna, 53, from Australia, works full-time and has been a sole parent for over ten years, but finally decided to do something about her 'mental load'.
The mum - whose kids are 21 and 19 and still live at home - told that for the last decade she's had it tough trying to manage everything on her own.
Admin tasks such as paying bills were the thing Donna dreaded the most and it felt like she couldn't keep up.
“You’re just constantly thinking of things that need to be done and it’s always on my mind,” the 53-year-old told Kidspot.
“What kids and married people don’t realise is that when you’re on your own, everything is your job, from paying bills to mowing the lawn and getting people to come and fix things,” she said.
Sunday night became my most hated time of the week because that’s when I would leave these jobs for.
Donna
Donna explained that it got to a point where, if she had an issue with a bill, she would just pay it rather than phone the company to query the amount.
She said it was too "mentally draining to spend even more time on the phone" so paying it was the easier option.
She said: "Sunday night became my most hated time of the week because that’s when I would leave these jobs for."
Late last year was the turning point for Donna who was forced to stop everything after a cycling accident left her with a fractured jaw.
“I was out of action for a while, and my list just got out of control,” she recalled. “I knew I was never going to get to everything.”
A longtime friend of hers, Marilyn, is a retired executive-level personal assistant, so she called on her for help.
“I knew her and her husband were doing it a bit tough coming out of COVID and so I asked her if she would be interested in doing a bit of paid work for some admin things I didn’t have time for,” said Donna, whose 21-year-old daughter and 19-year-old son remain at home with her.
“And she said, ‘I’ll just do them for free for you because that’s what friends help out with.’ But I only wanted to agree if she was well paid for it. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship over it.”
I was out of action for a while, and my list just got out of control, I knew I was never going to get to everything.
Donna
They eventually agreed that Marilyn would work as Donna’s PA one day each month for a fee of $300 (£166) - and would take care of ALL of Donna's admin work.
Donna will give her a list of what she'd like done, which often includes making appointments, filling pharmacy prescriptions, querying and paying bills and doing shopping errands.
This allows Donna to take care of more important things, without the added stress.
For Donna, handing over these “brain draining” tasks is worth every cent, insisting Marilyn is "brilliant" at what she does.
What's more, Donna said her PA is a "problem solver" and handles everything herself, without "wasting time".
";It feels like I have a secretary, I love it!" she said.
It relieves me of the guilt of not having done the things I need to do.
Donna
Donna works as a contractor so "time is money".
"If I spent that time doing things, it would cost me a day’s wage,"she explained. "So it’s not only beneficial for me that way but it relieves me of the guilt of not having done the things I need to do.”
Having an assistant has helped her so much that Donna now urges other mums to give it a go, and insists it's far more useful than hiring a cleaner
“I tried a cleaner a while ago but I wasn’t keen on it as I like cleaning my own stuff myself and because I work from home, I use those duties as a break from my desk to get me active around the house,” she said. “For me, this is a much better way to juggle it all.”
Marilyn’s help has changed Donna’s life so much for the better that when her children asked what she would like to receive as a birthday gift last month, there was no question what her response was.
“I said, ‘I want Marilyn for a day’,” she laughs. “So they paid for her for a day, it was wonderful!”
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We previously shared how a stay-at-home mum hired a PA as she was stressed, despite having two cleaners and a babysitter.
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