From talking about how you feel to exercising, Dr Zoe’s advice for combatting loneliness

THINK of someone who is lonely and the chances are an elderly person will pop into your head.

But it is wrong to assume age is the only factor. There are many reasons a person can feel alone.

It is something most of us will face at some point.

You might have lost a loved one, your children have flown the nest or you’ve recently separated from a partner. You might have started a new job or just had your first baby.

Perhaps you are the single one in a group of friends, surrounded by couples. Or maybe you moved hundreds of miles away from your family for work.

It could even be work is so busy your social life has fallen by the wayside.

Any of these scenarios could leave you feeling isolated and detached – and things have been made worse by the Covid pandemic and lockdown measures that forced us to stay at home.

They fuelled the growing loneliness epidemic that poses a real threat to the country’s mental and physical health.

Chronic loneliness is something we need to acknowledge and look out for in those we love.

It can lead to conditions such as anxiety, depression and insomnia, as well as fuelling stress and lowering self-esteem. It can impact your physical health too.

WARNING SIGN

But how do you know when your feelings are something to worry about?

In many cases, your feelings of loneliness will pass. But for some people, the same feelings will continue to creep back on a regular basis.

If you start to notice you feel detached from people even when you are surrounded by family and friends, it could be a warning sign.

Another thing to watch out for is struggling to connect with loved ones on a deeper level.

You might have lots of friends you see but if you find it hard to engage beyond a surface level, that could be a sign you are lonely.

Get out, visit places, indulge yourself in doing something you love.

If you have noticed this, or other feelings of loneliness, there are some dos and don’ts that can help you start to feel better. Let’s start with the things you can do.

First and foremost, talk to a friend or family member, or anyone you trust, about how you feel. If you feel uncomfortable with that, try your GP or Samaritans.

REDUCE STRESS

Try to get out and visit places where there will be other people around, such as the park.

While social distancing can make this harder at the moment, simply being around others will help.

Try a new hobby or get involved with a Zoom fitness class. If you feel nervous, you can always turn your camera off until you feel more comfortable.

Try to reduce the stress in your life by getting regular exercise. Do things like cooking, dancing or watching a film. Just indulge yourself doing something you love.

Get plenty of sleep. Aim for seven to eight hours a night.

And now for the don’ts.

Avoid turning to alcohol, cigarettes, gambling and drugs. They will not relieve your loneliness but will only make it worse.

Don’t compare yourself to others, especially on social media. People only share what they want you to see – and nobody’s life is perfect.

SET SMALL GOALS

Try not to focus on things you can’t change. Instead, put your energy into doing small things to make yourself feel better.

Remember, you are NOT alone. Lots of people feel lonely and support is available.

Don’t try to solve everything at once. Recognising your feelings is the first step. Set small goals you can achieve to help you make positive changes.

This year has been tougher than any in living memory. Each and every one of us has taken on new challenges, faced unfamiliar difficulties.

The most important thing to remember is we are all in it together. You might feel alone but you are NOT.

Opening up to a loved one is the first step to feeling better. And your GP is always there if you need help, support or guidance.

You can also contact Samaritans on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org.

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