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GOING IT ALONE

I spent my £35,000 house deposit on having a baby alone – it was the best decision I’ve ever made

HAVING recently turned 39 and with £35k saved to buy a house, Lisa Green decided to take her life in a different direction.

The single recruitment manager ditched her plans to own a home and spent the money on a baby instead — through IVF with a sperm donor.

A new mum has told how she spent her life savings on becoming a single mum 
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A new mum has told how she spent her life savings on becoming a single mum Credit: Mercury Press

She had always wanted to be a mum, and was happy to do it without a partner. Her dream came true last October when she gave birth to daughter Francesca.

Now, when she sees her baby take her first steps or attempt to say “Mummy”, she feels like she has hit the jackpot.

Lisa, who is now 40 and lives in Solihull, West Mids, says: “I set myself a deadline of having a baby by 40 and I have no regrets.

“I had disposable income I was putting aside for a house deposit but I felt the time was ticking more on my fertility than it was on buying a house, and it’s the best decision I ever made.

Lisa after giving bith to Francesca
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Lisa after giving bith to FrancescaCredit: Mercury Press

“I love being a single mum. I’m very lucky as she’s a very well-behaved child.”

And Lisa is not alone. According to the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA) more women than ever are deciding to parent without a partner.

Fertility treatment for single women has almost trebled in a decade. The average age of a woman seeking to start a family without a partner is 39, as clinics report rising numbers of want-to-be-mums struggling to meet someone they want to have kids with.

The number of IVF attempts by women trying to have a baby on their own has gone from 531 in 2008 to 1,352 in 2018.

Lisa gave birth to her daughter Francesca in October 2019 aged 39
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Lisa gave birth to her daughter Francesca in October 2019 aged 39Credit: Mercury Press

Lisa says: “I wasn’t bothered that I hadn’t met ‘the one’ yet but I was sure about ­having children. I never came across ­anyone that I could picture a future with.

“But approaching my forties was the time my sister had her son Charlie and he melted everyone’s hearts. And being around him definitely made me broody. That’s when I decided to go into motherhood alone and began looking at my options.”

Three years ago, Lisa looked into freezing her eggs, but scans and blood tests at BMI The Priory Hospital in Edgbaston, Birmingham showed her fertility was starting to decline so it was not an option.

She says: “Although I had lots of eggs, they varied in quality so the chances of falling pregnant were slim. That’s when IVF was mentioned.

Lisa, a recruitment manager, says she has no regrets about deciding to go it alone
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Lisa, a recruitment manager, says she has no regrets about deciding to go it aloneCredit: Mercury Press

“I was shocked because it wasn’t something I had even considered, but I felt it was a case of now or never.”

Lisa paid £7,000 for her first round of IVF at BMI The Priory Hospital after choosing a sperm donor online.

She says: “I was put in touch with three sperm banks after my IVF consultation with the clinic.

“I wanted a white male of medium build with brown hair. It was a surreal experience, and crazy that in less than a year I could be a mum.”

Lisa with sisters Jodie and Stacey
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Lisa with sisters Jodie and StaceyCredit: Mercury Press

Although the initial treatment was a ­success, Lisa miscarried at nine weeks.
She says: “I was heartbroken. I didn’t know why I had miscarried or if it would happen if I tried again.

“It was hard but I picked myself up and decided to give it another go.”

Lisa spent another £5,500 on a second round of IVF. Two weeks later, she ­discovered she was expecting again and this time the pregnancy went to plan.

She says: “The feeling was out of this world, and putting the nursery together and buying clothes for my baby was so exciting.

‘I FELT INCREDIBLY PROUD’

“I refused to let my fears from my miscarriage creep in and I stayed positive.

“I found out I was having a girl at my 20-week scan. Finally getting my wish of becoming a mum before 40 was unbelievable.”

When Lisa went into labour she had her mum Tina, 64, and sister Jodie, 34, by her side. Lisa says: “I was induced and a day later Francesca was in my arms. She weighed 6lb 11oz and I felt incredibly proud the moment I saw her. There were lots of tears and we were all smitten.”

The rest of her savings - £22,500 - went towards her maternity leave. She says: “I don’t get any additional state ­benefits. I’m self-funded.”

Lisa feared that not having met the right man meant she would lose her chance to have a family
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Lisa feared that not having met the right man meant she would lose her chance to have a familyCredit: Mercury Press

Lisa is now getting to grips with being a single mum. She says: “It still doesn’t seem real. It’s taken me months to accept she’s mine.

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“I used to worry what other people would say about how Francesca came into the world, but I get only positive comments. Even though I may now never be able to buy a home, I have no regrets.

“There’s no time limit on buying a house but there is on having a baby.”

COSTS

£7,000 first round of IVF.

£5,500 second IVF round.

£22,500 paid out to help fund her living costs during maternity leave.

TOTAL: £35,000

‘I became a mum after spending £60,000 on IVF and finally giving birth to a baby son after 17 attempts’

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